Jamie snorted. "Yeah right, we're taking turns on that one," he replied making sure there were two dupes at the door and two more at either end of the hallway before closing the door behind him.
His casual tone sounded a bit forced, and quite frankly he was looking a bit jumpy.
Reno fingered the baton that was resting at his hip for a moment, just to be certain it was still there, and then nodded.
"Fair enough. Can't promise any kinda quality though, man. I ain't never held a baby before, nevermind changin' shitty diapers."
His gaze drifted back to Janice, and he was forced to reach forward to wiggle her little feet. He had to. Honest. The forces of the universe made him do it.
Jamie on the other hand was watching the kid from the farthest corner of the room. As if putting that distance between him and the kid would protect him.
"Did Rikku tell you who this baby is?" he asked. "I mean who she really is?"
"Well when she was born an entire down was decimated because a militant anti-mutant group and another militant mutant group decided to blow the place up just to get the kid. As a result, I got sent forward into the future and got stuck in a incarceration camp for mutants and got this nice little tattoo on my face. I then got blown up for my trouble and left a good friend behind for the sake of a kid who was supposed to be safely somewhere else," Jamie replied.
"So. Yeah. Little bit of mixed feelings on the subject."
"Man, all that for a kid that ain't learned her first words yet," Reno noted. "And you got any clue why people figure the kid with the chubbiest cheeks I ever saw is gonna make or break the place?"
"She's the first mutant born after our entire race was culled down to maybe a few hundred people," Jamie said with a frown. "Cable rescued here because he believes she's going to be the savior of our race. After a few weeks of keeping her here on the island another guy with the same tattoo as me showed up and almost tore the island up trying to kill her because he believes she's going to kill a million people when she grows up."
Jamie sighed and stepped forward. "I'll do it," he said with a shrug. "At least somewhere down the line I can lay claim to changing the diapers of the savior of mutantkind or the person who killed everyone."
He immediately regretted it as he opened the diaper.
"Dear, GOD!" he cried out as he reached for the wipes. "What has Rikku been feeding this kid?"
"Strained peaches," Reno answered, almost angelically, as he went rooting through his newly acquired shopping cart for a diaper that would fit the kid. "An' mashed peas. An' whatever else I nabbed from T&C."
Reno was very helpful this way.
"I guess I should'a nabbed some FeBreeze while I was shoppin' for baby supplies, huh?"
His casual tone sounded a bit forced, and quite frankly he was looking a bit jumpy.
"First one we flip a coin. Deal?"
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"Fair enough. Can't promise any kinda quality though, man. I ain't never held a baby before, nevermind changin' shitty diapers."
His gaze drifted back to Janice, and he was forced to reach forward to wiggle her little feet. He had to. Honest. The forces of the universe made him do it.
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"Did Rikku tell you who this baby is?" he asked. "I mean who she really is?"
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Those toes so needed to be wiggled. Wiggly toes! Wiggly baby toes!
"Kinda like flippin' a coin all on its own, ain't it?"
Who had the wiggly toes? Janice had the wiggly toes!
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It wasn't like Reno hadn't dealt with the end of the world before, really. Some people were a little better with it than others. Or something.
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"So. Yeah. Little bit of mixed feelings on the subject."
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"Man, all that for a kid that ain't learned her first words yet," Reno noted. "And you got any clue why people figure the kid with the chubbiest cheeks I ever saw is gonna make or break the place?"
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...
"She does have cute cheeks though."
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"Cutest cheeks I ever saw, anyhow," he mused. And then paused. And inched backward a little.
....
"Time for a coin-toss, yo."
Babies were significantly less cute when they were allowed to poop.
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He immediately regretted it as he opened the diaper.
"Dear, GOD!" he cried out as he reached for the wipes. "What has Rikku been feeding this kid?"
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Reno was very helpful this way.
"I guess I should'a nabbed some FeBreeze while I was shoppin' for baby supplies, huh?"
He'd keep that in mind for future random babies.
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Jamie was pretty sure what Janice's mutant power was. He just didn't understand how creating an incredible stench was going to save anyone.
"Or at least some Lysol," Jamie coughed as he held out the wrapped up diaper for Reno to take. "Wow."
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"Dear freakin' Ifrit, it smells like somethin' that'd come outta a Dual Horn with gas, zoto."
For the record, that was pretty bad, yes. He was never eating with those hands again.
"Quick, slap somethin' fresh on there before she can do it again or somethin'."
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"Think we can pawn off this mess on the sentries at the door?"
No, there was no way Reno was leaving the room.
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