my LPD update
I was waiting to read here about some joy and thankfulness like I've been seeing everywhere online lately. Personally, it's been hard for me to be thankful or joyful. It just is what it is, and I don't need anyone to cheer me up...at least, not right now.
My tenant bought her own house (closing on Dec 21) and is planning to move out. I'm a bit miffed at her because she threw a hissy fit last summer when I talked about getting a quote to rent my whole place out and that I would give her 30 days' legal notice to move out if I needed to proceed with renting the whole place. I dragged my heels and never got the quote, for many reasons including her hissy fit. So, now I feel like she has created a double standard. Except she had already been looking for a couple of months and had already put out an offer by the time she told me. I do see how my looking to rent the whole place out may have precipitated her looking for her own options. That knowledge doesn't help me feel less fucked. This is simply the wrong time of year to rent.
I just got a call back from two property management agents who told me that I could expect to charge 3/4 of my mortgage. The second agent told me that I could have hoped for ~$2k more if I had talked wtih her over the summer. The first agent told me that the reason I cannot expect to charge more is because of my neighborhood. I understood the general feel of her statement. The more I think about it after the fact, the more I wonder exactly what she meant about my neighborhood.
Interestingly, my neighborhood is no less central than Queen Anne, which is where the agent told me I would have been able to charge my mortage price to rent it out. My neighbohood is ethnically diverse and the crime rates are presumably higher than other areas. I do see the police more frequently than any other place I've lived. However, I have heard of similar instances of crime in other areas. So...is it real or just a perception? Are there other reasons why my neighborhood is less desirable?
At any rate, renting my full place out looks a zero sum game for me right now. So, I'll need to get other renters for the individual rooms and garage live I've been doing over the past 5.5 years. That will at least cover half of my mortgage, if I am lucky. I might try renting out the full place next summer.
In other news, Jessica is physically at about the same place she was two weeks ago. She still is miserable, though she has gotten much better with mouthing appreciation to her visitors and staff. I try to visit more often to be more of an advocate for her (visitors help Jess get the attention of the staff more; she gets ignored when she's alone due to the frustration of her lacking functional vocal chords). However, I quickly get burnt out on tending to her needs at the hospital. I already care fore her house and cats, deal with her mail, communicate with and support her remote family and other visitors...sometimes it feels like too much, and others it feels like not enough.
And then there's finance. Oh, finance. Taking an incomplete is looking more and more attractive by the day. My fear of finance is still in full force. The finance readings and deliverables have not been updated on the course page since last Intensive. In fact, the syllabi that contained conflicting versions of previous readings and deliverables are now gone.
I will say that I appreciate Court and Rachel for the the team paper that we just finished. I still carry a fear of appearing to not pull my weight (baggage from last year). That said, we got it done and submitted despite the lack of structure and accountability surrounding the thing.
The instructor for next quarter gave us a quick idea of what to expect for next quarter, which was exciting and terrifying to me. He really seemed on the ball and willing to work more with the flipped classroom format, which was awesome. He was also adamant that his students all be stolid with accounting basics in order to survive his class. I'm sure these were not his exact words, but that's what I heard. I am very definitely not feeling solid with accounting. I had planned to take marketing next quarter, but it is no longer offered. I am also partly concerned that what's happening with Ken (finance instructor) this quarter could repeat itself next quarter despite the positive sense given by the next instructor.
None of the other courses really speak to me, which brings me back to the thought that if I'm so adverse to being in business, what am I doing in business school? Employment has been difficult to get and keep (both in jobs I want and those I don't). I'm not confident that I can make enough to cover my debt (both now and after I get my mba). I can't walk away from my mortgage without losing my financial aid. I feel like I am just delaying my demise for 2-3 years.
On the night of registration deadline, I felt pretty lost and about ready to take a hiatus from school altogether. Oh, except then I would lose financial aid which is the only money that's helping me survive right now...soon, even that might not be enough. And I would be failing the extracurricular leadship roles that I've taken on. Good times.
Nope. No recipe for a breakdown, here. Sorry for being a downer. It is what it is.