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i feel really inspired all of a sudden,
ive been avoiding doing anything really creative in the past few months
but i have all these ideas, i have so many things i want to do.
and im ready, i want to do it.
i want to go on a trip, a road trip or a little getaway to somewhere nice,
somewhere scenic. plenty of pretty pictures that i will take,
i dont need someone to do it with, but it would be nice
although other people always make things awkward with their thoughts that ill never know
a photo a day, i want to.
ive been reading alot, its good. i need to expand my vocabulary.
although, i really do think that communication done in the easiest way possible to understand for EVERYONE to understand is a good thing.
why complicate everything trying to seem intelligent by using your big words and well constructed sentences.
i want to get a message across, i want to tell you something and i want you to understand.
i dont know why people have this idea that they have to be misunderstood.
they want to be different, smarter, better, more knowledgeable.
oh your all such tortured artists with your sad stories.
im going to do the things i want to do.
i am a good person, im alright really.
i cant be bothered to feel bad about myself anymore, its tiring.
if i dont want to talk, or if i do, its my choice and im not going to feel shy or upset or inferior.
really, its just selfishness, but everyone is selfish.
fishhhh, i wish i had fish and it would swim around and eat its food and if it was one of those ones with the bulging eyes i would be even happier.
i bought 3 books and they were all only $5 from 'the basement'
what a good shop. i can justify that amount, but not something like $45 for a 260 page novel.
i need to start eating properly, im wasting away to nothing and my hip bones are becoming even more evident rubbing up against my jeans.
i guess i just lost my appetite, i dont really FEEL like anything,
i forget to eat. doughnuts,homous,apple,waterwaterwater
im so weak, and i woke up with a mystery big scratch on my arm.
i slipped in the water and then you made fun of me.
but im not embarrassed because its not my fault.
i talked to a boy with a huge afro and glasses and a voice like a cartoon character
he was amusing, but boys are so.. none of them really do anything to make themselves look better
bye.
wasting away to nothing
the ultimate sense of loneliness.
11pm, i lie in my cold, unmade bed
curled up in the fetal position
my legs pressed up against my breasts
swollen, bare, and nipples erect
it is now that i feel
the ultimate sense of loneliness
missing the presence of a lovers body
the comfort of their embrace
their obvious pleasure
and the gentle sounds of love
the notion that you alone
are loved and wanted by another
it is now that i miss you the most.
xo