FILL: Look'd Up In Perfect Silence At the Stars, self-harm, PG-13ish, mentions of torture, 1/?minviendhaOctober 11 2011, 19:38:08 UTC
I hope I am not stepping on anyone's toes by filling this one again?
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It wasn’t so bad at first.
A press of his thumb on the stitches in his hand. Biting his lip hard enough to make it bleed. Digging fingernails into the underside of his wrist. Simple things, short, sharp pain, a reminder. He was controlling, he was managing, and maybe it wasn’t healthy but that wasn’t what was important right now. Keeping it together was what was important right now
( ... )
Re: FILL: Look'd Up In Perfect Silence At the Stars, self-harm, PG-13ish, mentions of torture, 2/3minviendhaOctober 11 2011, 19:40:43 UTC
He turned off the burner and rolled down his sleeve too fast, hissed for the brush of cloth over damaged skin. “No,” he yelled, checking the time. “Not yet.”
“Come and entertain me, then! I’m going crazy out here!”
“Someone is,” Sam heard, and he glanced around, stomach sinking, to see Lucifer rummaging through one of the cabinets. He grinned cheekily at Sam. “Maybe next time, eh kiddo? Experimentation is all about trial and error.”
Sam gritted his teeth and pretended not to hear it, pretended not to notice the way black and red crawled around the edges of his vision, trying to get in. He was managing. He was managing fine.
** Bobby was back, and Dean was in a bad mood. He complained about everything from his leg itching to the shows on TV (Man, Jose is such a fucking idiot! Look what he’s turning down, and for Marisa?) and the food. Sam escaped into the bedroom and took a moment to breathe
( ... )
Re: FILL: Look'd Up In Perfect Silence At the Stars, self-harm, PG-13ish, mentions of torture, 3/3minviendhaOctober 11 2011, 19:41:32 UTC
Because Lucifer always came back, and every time seemed to hold on a little harder. His whispered encouragements were hard to ignore, and even worse were his descriptively offered alternatives.
“You could slice yourself open in the shower and let all your guts collect in the bottom. They can tell your fortune that way.”
“Ever wondered what gun oil tastes like? You could find out. Might be interesting.”
He left eventually. Sam just had to find the right pain to make him do it. And Bobby kept coming so close to catching him at his little ritual, and Bobby would freak out and tell Dean-
Except it turned out Dean didn’t need to be told. They were sitting on the couch and watching a telenovela, Lucifer sitting in the next chair over and complaining about the accents, Sam twitchy and wondering when he could get away to fix things when Dean said, “Sam, you been hurting yourself
( ... )
Re: FILL: Look'd Up In Perfect Silence At the Stars, self-harm, PG-13ish, mentions of torture, 3/3rokhalOctober 11 2011, 22:01:43 UTC
The claustrophobia and panic in this fic crawled under my skin and stayed there.
I love how Dean steps in, all common sense and protection, and there's no quick fix, but at least they slip out of their death spiral and into a holding pattern. Nice.
Re: FILL: Look'd Up In Perfect Silence At the Stars, self-harm, PG-13ish, mentions of torture, 3/3quickreaverOctober 14 2011, 04:48:14 UTC
I've been writing something similar and wow, great minds think alike! I'll probably post tomorrow and you can see what creepy twins we are. But you got there first so awesome props to you! Our poor Sammeh...
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It wasn’t so bad at first.
A press of his thumb on the stitches in his hand. Biting his lip hard enough to make it bleed. Digging fingernails into the underside of his wrist. Simple things, short, sharp pain, a reminder. He was controlling, he was managing, and maybe it wasn’t healthy but that wasn’t what was important right now. Keeping it together was what was important right now ( ... )
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“Come and entertain me, then! I’m going crazy out here!”
“Someone is,” Sam heard, and he glanced around, stomach sinking, to see Lucifer rummaging through one of the cabinets. He grinned cheekily at Sam. “Maybe next time, eh kiddo? Experimentation is all about trial and error.”
Sam gritted his teeth and pretended not to hear it, pretended not to notice the way black and red crawled around the edges of his vision, trying to get in. He was managing. He was managing fine.
**
Bobby was back, and Dean was in a bad mood. He complained about everything from his leg itching to the shows on TV (Man, Jose is such a fucking idiot! Look what he’s turning down, and for Marisa?) and the food. Sam escaped into the bedroom and took a moment to breathe ( ... )
Reply
“You could slice yourself open in the shower and let all your guts collect in the bottom. They can tell your fortune that way.”
“Ever wondered what gun oil tastes like? You could find out. Might be interesting.”
He left eventually. Sam just had to find the right pain to make him do it. And Bobby kept coming so close to catching him at his little ritual, and Bobby would freak out and tell Dean-
Except it turned out Dean didn’t need to be told. They were sitting on the couch and watching a telenovela, Lucifer sitting in the next chair over and complaining about the accents, Sam twitchy and wondering when he could get away to fix things when Dean said, “Sam, you been hurting yourself ( ... )
Reply
I love how Dean steps in, all common sense and protection, and there's no quick fix, but at least they slip out of their death spiral and into a holding pattern. Nice.
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Oh man this hurt in all the best ways. Lucifer was brilliant. Ugh. *shivers*
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As Many Times As It Took
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