Let's recap:

Dec 13, 2010 21:03

(For those of you on Facebook, yes, this is the same note ( Read more... )

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amethystarlight December 14 2010, 04:23:18 UTC

People fear what they don't know. As such, they are unwilling to learn about that which they fear.

With that said, I can understand both sides of the story. I can relate to what Tom has gone through. It's nor much different than what I went through, except for the whole marriage and expected fidelity associated with marriage. You did the right thing. You were honest with Tom about tour feelings for Auriel. That is where our respective situations differ. My ex-husband lied to me over and over, until I attempted suicide.

Such things are hard for people to accept. Just know that you still have people who love you and know that you did the respectful, forthright thing. The others can go fuck themselves, for all I care.

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rattgirl December 15 2010, 07:02:36 UTC
*nods* I do understand the difficulties Tom has gone through. Some people have an easier time moving on than others. The problem is, his inability to move on at this point has nothing whatsoever to do with me or my actions, especially since he was the one who dictated that we should have absolutely no contact at all after he broke up with me. He blocked me on Facebook, he blocked me on Twitter, and he completely extricated every last reminder of me in his apartment. If he can't move on after all that, I don't see how that is my fault in any way ( ... )

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amethystarlight December 15 2010, 17:40:35 UTC
It bothers me that he repeatedly told me that he could see it working out, that he wanted to make it work, and then suddenly dropped the ball and told me "sorry, nope, I'm outta here."I said the same thing to my ex-husband, but never for even one moment believed that I could actually be okay with him cheating on me (in front of me in my own home). Those are the things that someone says when s/he doesn't want to lose the one s/he loves more than life itself. But, we all have our breaking points. Tom reached his, just as I reached mine ( ... )

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rattgirl December 16 2010, 05:07:29 UTC
*hugs*
That means more to me than I can possibly express.
Your explanation does make a lot of sense. I understood that Tom was lying to himself and to me out of a desire to "not lose me", but I wasn't going anywhere. And I do see that people are only going to see things from the perspective they choose; those who are judging me without ever getting the whole story just aren't my friends, plain and simple. It hurts like hell to lose some of them, because I care deeply about them and thought that they were truly my friends, but in the end, I suppose any major life event will tend to include a shifting in one's social circle. This one just happens to be taking place in a particularly dramatic manner. *wry grimace*

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gekikava April 8 2011, 18:36:44 UTC
Thanks for an idea, you sparked at thought from a angle I hadn’t given thoguht to yet. Now lets see if I can do something with it.

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baerldyh October 31 2011, 17:37:27 UTC
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