Love and Laughter...
Maybe more of the latter rather than the former... Alright..
A nun and a priest are travelling across the desert when the camel they've been riding dies. After being stranded for several days, they give up of being rescued.
"Before I die, I'd like to see a woman naked," the priest says. "Sister, would you take off your clothes so I can look at you?"
The nun hesitates, but grants the man his last wish. Once nude, the nun says, "Actually father, I've never seen a man naked. Would you strip down?"
The priest gets nude, and the nun exclaims, "Father, what is that thing hanging between your legs?"
"It's a gift from God," the priest replies. "If I put it in you, it creates life."
"Forget about me," the nun says. "Stick it in the camel's ass and let's get the hell out of here!"
During an interview for a switch-operator position at the railroad, the chief engineer asks a job candidate, "What would you do is the Northern Express was heading north on track one and the Southern Central was heading south on the same track?"
"I would definitely call my brother,: the interviewee responds.
"Why on earth would you call your brother?" the chief engineer asks.
"Because he's never seen a train wreck before," the applicant replies.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a stretch limo? The porcupine has pricks on the outside..
A little boy living in the country hates his family's outhouse - which sits on the edge of a creek - because it's hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and always reeks.
One spring day, there's a huge rain shower and the creek swells. The boy decides this is his chance to get rid of the stink shack, so he grabs a sturdy stick and begins pushing it. Finally, he tips the outhouse into the creek and it floats away.
That night, the boy's dad tells him to prepare for a spanking.
"What did I do wrong?" the boy asks.
"Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today," the father replies. "And it was you, wasn't it, son?"
The boy admits to the deed, then adds, "I learned in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told his dad the truth."
"But, son," the father says, "Washington's dad wasn't in the cherry tree."
Alright.. From all these jokes I've came to the conclusion of this.. Nuns and priest are not educated correctly. If you ask a stupid question like the one about the engineer, expect to get a stupid answer. A stretch limo is not something to ride in if you have self respect, and honesty, contrary to what Washington taught us, is not always the best policy.. At least where your father and a shithouse is concerned.
Alright.. One night a man waled into Sneakers and ordered a beer. He sat there nursing it for a while until a gremlin comes in and orders a drink. The gremlin downs his beverage, then runs down the bar, sticks his head in the man's beer and shakes it around.
The man is confused, yet entertained, at this point. The creature orders another drink, then runs over to stick his head in the man's beer and shakes it around again.
After the gremlin repeats this once more, the man finally loses his patience, grabs the beastieby the scruff of his neck and yells, "If you stick your head in my beer one more time, I'll rip your dick off."
"I ain't got one," the gremlin replies.
"If you don't have one," the man asks, "how do you piss?"
"Like this," says the gremlin before sticking his head in the man's beer and shaking it around once more.
Yo, you've all been a good audience.. Peace.. Thank you... If you liked something, leave me a comment.
A nun and a priest are travelling across the desert when the camel they've been riding dies. After being stranded for several days, they give up of being rescued.
"Before I die, I'd like to see a woman naked," the priest says. "Sister, would you take off your clothes so I can look at you?"
The nun hesitates, but grants the man his last wish. Once nude, the nun says, "Actually father, I've never seen a man naked. Would you strip down?"
The priest gets nude, and the nun exclaims, "Father, what is that thing hanging between your legs?"
"It's a gift from God," the priest replies. "If I put it in you, it creates life."
"Forget about me," the nun says. "Stick it in the camel's ass and let's get the hell out of here!"
During an interview for a switch-operator position at the railroad, the chief engineer asks a job candidate, "What would you do is the Northern Express was heading north on track one and the Southern Central was heading south on the same track?"
"I would definitely call my brother,: the interviewee responds.
"Why on earth would you call your brother?" the chief engineer asks.
"Because he's never seen a train wreck before," the applicant replies.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a stretch limo? The porcupine has pricks on the outside..
A little boy living in the country hates his family's outhouse - which sits on the edge of a creek - because it's hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and always reeks.
One spring day, there's a huge rain shower and the creek swells. The boy decides this is his chance to get rid of the stink shack, so he grabs a sturdy stick and begins pushing it. Finally, he tips the outhouse into the creek and it floats away.
That night, the boy's dad tells him to prepare for a spanking.
"What did I do wrong?" the boy asks.
"Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today," the father replies. "And it was you, wasn't it, son?"
The boy admits to the deed, then adds, "I learned in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told his dad the truth."
"But, son," the father says, "Washington's dad wasn't in the cherry tree."
Alright.. From all these jokes I've came to the conclusion of this.. Nuns and priest are not educated correctly. If you ask a stupid question like the one about the engineer, expect to get a stupid answer. A stretch limo is not something to ride in if you have self respect, and honesty, contrary to what Washington taught us, is not always the best policy.. At least where your father and a shithouse is concerned.
Alright.. One night a man waled into Sneakers and ordered a beer. He sat there nursing it for a while until a gremlin comes in and orders a drink. The gremlin downs his beverage, then runs down the bar, sticks his head in the man's beer and shakes it around.
The man is confused, yet entertained, at this point. The creature orders another drink, then runs over to stick his head in the man's beer and shakes it around again.
After the gremlin repeats this once more, the man finally loses his patience, grabs the beastieby the scruff of his neck and yells, "If you stick your head in my beer one more time, I'll rip your dick off."
"I ain't got one," the gremlin replies.
"If you don't have one," the man asks, "how do you piss?"
"Like this," says the gremlin before sticking his head in the man's beer and shaking it around once more.
Yo, you've all been a good audience.. Peace.. Thank you... If you liked something, leave me a comment.