Ray: I leave yee with a riddle! I'm hard yet soft, I'm coloured yet clear, I am fruity and sweet, I am jelly, what am I? Customer: Jelly! Ray: Muse upon it further, I shall return. Customer: It's jelly though isn't it? Ray: Ye-eees!
Lifeguard: Did you push her in or not? Vicky: No, because I'd never do that, because once I heard this thing right, that a man pushed a man and the man died and that's true and if you don't believe me you can ask him yourself and anyway Jono tripped up Dean Hurst by the waterslides and he had to have three hundred stiches in his face and when his Mum found out she went down Jono's dad's car show room and went up to a Vauxhall Astra and done her dirty business on it.
Lifeguard: Get out and go and get changed. Vicky: I'm just gonna go for a wee first and then I'll get changed. Lifeguard: Be quick. (Vicky stands motionless in the pool for approximately ten seconds) Vicky: Right I'll go and get changed.
Vicky: (to girl in the pool) Don't go giving me evils! (Vicky splashes her with water) B1tch! (the lifeguard blows loudly on his whistle) Vicky: OH SHUT UP!
Comments 10
Customer: Jelly!
Ray: Muse upon it further, I shall return.
Customer: It's jelly though isn't it?
Ray: Ye-eees!
Reply
Vicky: No, because I'd never do that, because once I heard this thing right, that a man pushed a man and the man died and that's true and if you don't believe me you can ask him yourself and anyway Jono tripped up Dean Hurst by the waterslides and he had to have three hundred stiches in his face and when his Mum found out she went down Jono's dad's car show room and went up to a Vauxhall Astra and done her dirty business on it.
Lifeguard: Get out and go and get changed.
Vicky: I'm just gonna go for a wee first and then I'll get changed.
Lifeguard: Be quick.
(Vicky stands motionless in the pool for approximately ten seconds)
Vicky: Right I'll go and get changed.
Vicky: (to girl in the pool) Don't go giving me evils! (Vicky splashes her with water) B1tch!
(the lifeguard blows loudly on his whistle)
Vicky: OH SHUT UP!
Reply
happy early bday =D
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment