Oh my God. I'm so glad you (or Ryan ;) ) chose to do this in first.
Literally I'm so stunned and shocked and heartbroken I can't think of anything to write to adequately express my adoration of your writing.
This hurt. Gah *Brendon*. Tried blowing the dead corpse... that line, very few people would have gone there but you did and it just, was perfect. I'm gonna read it again, maybe I'll leave something of more use after. Thanks for sharing this.
Dude thank you! Seriously, I'm glad this worked, cause I was a little worried about my mental state after finishing it. Another reason to avoid first person: it drives you NUTS. This felt so much closer then my usual third and I'm gonna reserve this POV for very special situations. But yeah. I couldn't have done this any other way, what with the completely sick and disturbing.
I think it's time for something featuring rainbows and puppies just to get my balance back.
I think you definitely deserve some rainbows and puppies after that.
You pulled this off extremely well. I remembered thinking first was too close the first few times I wrote it, but then going back to third felt so far removed it drove me nuts. But maybe it's just a matter of preference, and a matter of what you're trying to get across to the reader.
I'm sorry it came with the risk of shaking your mental state, but honestly, the best stories come with a little piece of the author pulled away.
You're the first author that's ever pulled me to leave regular comments so I'm sorry if they're really awkward. I never know quite what to say and end up backspacing a whole lot.
That being said, once you're on stable ground again, try playing with 2nd person. That fucked me up more than any other pov. It's just got this really gritty feel that might work here, or might be way too intense. I couldn't imagine this part being in 2nd. I don't think any of us would have survived that.
No worries with the awkward, I either don't comment or flail and offer people firstborns and all that kind of thing, so.
As for the mental state, it's all good. I'm pretty used to navigating the dark abyss of my brain and I usually come out of the self inflicted emo quickly enough.
Second person POV? I really actually find that almost impossible to do. There are little bits in that last piece and they're cool, but I don't think there actually is a way to write it well or at least I haven't seen it done. I tend to choke on the "you"s that riddle the sentences. Not sure I can think of it being used by anyone well, but I'll check with Ryan. He remembers shit like that. :)
Comments 4
I'm so glad you (or Ryan ;) ) chose to do this in first.
Literally I'm so stunned and shocked and heartbroken I can't think of anything to write to adequately express my adoration of your writing.
This hurt. Gah *Brendon*.
Tried blowing the dead corpse... that line, very few people would have gone there but you did and it just, was perfect.
I'm gonna read it again, maybe I'll leave something of more use after.
Thanks for sharing this.
Reply
I think it's time for something featuring rainbows and puppies just to get my balance back.
Reply
You pulled this off extremely well. I remembered thinking first was too close the first few times I wrote it, but then going back to third felt so far removed it drove me nuts. But maybe it's just a matter of preference, and a matter of what you're trying to get across to the reader.
I'm sorry it came with the risk of shaking your mental state, but honestly, the best stories come with a little piece of the author pulled away.
You're the first author that's ever pulled me to leave regular comments so I'm sorry if they're really awkward. I never know quite what to say and end up backspacing a whole lot.
That being said, once you're on stable ground again, try playing with 2nd person. That fucked me up more than any other pov. It's just got this really gritty feel that might work here, or might be way too intense. I couldn't imagine this part being in 2nd. I don't think any of us would have survived that.
Reply
As for the mental state, it's all good. I'm pretty used to navigating the dark abyss of my brain and I usually come out of the self inflicted emo quickly enough.
Second person POV? I really actually find that almost impossible to do. There are little bits in that last piece and they're cool, but I don't think there actually is a way to write it well or at least I haven't seen it done. I tend to choke on the "you"s that riddle the sentences. Not sure I can think of it being used by anyone well, but I'll check with Ryan. He remembers shit like that. :)
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