Stray
Author: Raven
Title: Stray
Pairings: Spencer/Ryan, Brendon/Shane, William/Gabe and a bit in between
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: D/s, orgasm denial, gang-bang
Disclaimer: lies, folks. Elliott Smith's title.
A/N: Part seven of the chronicles. I was coping with the sap from the last one and this happened. This is the prequel you're gonna need to understand what's going on. Or just have the porn without the plot.
Happily ever after lasts all the way through Africa and when it’s time to go back to the States, they decide to stop off in Chicago for a bit so Jon can go visit his folks before they drag him along to California.
They arrange to meet up with Gabe and Gabe wouldn’t be Gabe if he didn’t have things arranged upon their arrival.
Ryan gets progressively more quiet as Gabe bombards them with text messages hinting at - well, whatever he’s hinting at. Spencer isn’t entirely sure, what with the lack of vowels, but it’s probably something involving copious amounts of kink. They hit a hotel downtown and Ryan sits on the bed, quietly biting his nails.
“We need to talk.”
Spencer gulps and stops unpacking. He isn’t keen on this development, not at all. Ryan and he don’t do talking, they don’t usually need to. If they do, it’s Spencer bugging the shit out of Ryan until Ryan finally comes out with whatever is bothering him. Ryan initiating a conversation like this is probably a sign of the impending apocalypse.
“About meeting up with the guys,” Ryan mumbles, not exactly meeting Spencer’s eyes. “I… there’s something you need to know about Gabe and me.”
He pauses for a moment and Spencer would insert a witty comment about building suspense, but he really isn’t in the mood. There aren’t many things he can think of that involve Gabe Saporta that don’t also somehow involve sex or drugs or both. He knows Ryan isn’t one for drugs. He also knows there’s only one way to go right now.
“You’re about to tell me you fucked around with Gabe?” Spencer doesn’t much believe in avoidance. He knows the answer already, so why not face it. Ryan doesn’t say yes, but he doesn’t need to. As a matter of fact, Ryan’s not saying anything, he’s gone completely still. Spencer knows Ryan’s waiting for him to freak the fuck out, tell him it’s over, possibly beat the shit out of him, whatever.
Spencer giggles. Cause, seriously, what the fuck is he supposed to do? Ryan’s staring at him like he’s lost his mind and he decides he can laugh about it later, once he’s reassured Ryan that he’s not about to go on a killing-spree or send him packing.
“Ry, don’t look at me like that, Jesus.” He puts an arm around Ryan’s shoulder. “It’s Gabe.” Very, very slowly, a tentative smile appears on Ryan’s lips. “You… you don’t mind?” Spencer shakes his head. “Oh, I mind, Ry. I mind plenty, as a matter of fact. You’re mine. If you wanna fuck around, you could at least fucking ask.”
He lets Ryan process that for a moment before adding “I also don’t think Gabe Saporta was ever really competition.”
“He wasn’t”, Ryan blurts out. “It just…William... I happened to be there.”
Spencer briefly wonders if anyone took pictures, but he’s not enough of an ass-hat to ask. All he can think about is how fucking careful he’s been all along, trying to protect Ryan from anything and everything. And Ryan goes and gets off with Gabe fucking Saporta and William Beckett of all people.
“When exactly did that ‘happened to be there’ happen?” he asks and Ryan mumbles something about their first tour. “Ry, you were seventeen!” They hadn’t even. Well, they had, a little, but. While they hadn’t been virgins, they’d still been so fucking innocent. Or so Spencer thought.
Spencer takes a deep breath and lets it out in something between a snort and a laugh. “Well, fuck”, he adds and shakes his head. Then he leans over and kisses Ryan.
“I told you, Ry. Nothing you could do could make me stop loving you, ever.”
“But…”
“Yeah, shut up. Nothing. Ever.”
He waits until he feels Ryan nodding against his shoulder. “I’m sorry”, he whispers and Spencer might be grinning a little bit when he replies “You will be, Ry,” cause that’s a fucking promise right there.
Gabe Saporta is the kind of guy who’d not only have a playroom but a full-fledged dungeon, Spencer can’t pretend he’s surprised. They’ve been at his place for all of fifteen minutes when he mentions that and offers them a tour. Of course he does, that’s why he brought them all here in the first place.
Gabe’s got an eye for interior design or too much money he spends on someone who’s good at this kind of thing, it’s clear in the kitchen and living-room, but even more so in the basement. The walls are dark purple between strategically placed mirrors, everything else is black or silver. It’s a pretty good job on the lighting too, soft enough to not make it look like a porn-film set and bright enough to not be sleazy.
“How do you like what Will’s done with the place?” Gabe inquires with a smirk and Spencer should’ve known, really. The mirrors are a sure giveaway and William probably gets off on the way the indirect lighting makes his skin glow, the pretentious bitch.
Shane grins at him behind Gabe’s back and Spencer smiles back. All of this isn’t so much their usual style, but hey, for a visit, this is pretty cool.
“So, you guys wanna get comfortable?” Gabe offers as he flings himself down on one of the black leather couches. William wouldn’t need an invitation, but he manages to keep his clothes on long enough to figure out everyone’s down with it, he’s polite that way.
Spencer cocks an eyebrow at Ryan. “Nothing they haven’t seen before, right?” Ryan blushes and starts stripping while Gabe exchanges a glance with Spencer and leans over to pat him on the back. Nothing more is said on the subject for the time being.
Brendon’s still waiting for Shane’s okay, but once that’s out of the way, he seems pretty eager to follow suit.
In all, it’s a sight to behold. Ryan and William flanking Brendon, taller then him and slightly paler, each of the three of them breathtakingly beautiful in their own right and combined probably illegal in at least forty-nine states or something.
“Fuck”, Shane comments and that about sums it up. None of the clothed folks on the couch make a move to do anything for a while, cause this is just fine, seriously.
Spencer’s pretty sure he could die happy right now, but eventually, Gabe gets up and walks over to William. William is one very, very pretty boy. While he makes a point of everyone realizing that, it’s still surprising just how fucking hot he really is, the long strands of hair falling into his down-cast face, the way he keeps running his tongue over his full, flushed lips, not quite nervous, not quite seductive, the way you can see the muscles in his throat move as he swallows, the way his fucking collarbones just do their thing… the list kinda goes on.
Shane’s breathing might or might not hitch a tiny little bit as Gabe slowly backs William up against the wall, turns him round and traps his wrists in the black leather restraints attached to said wall. It’s not like Spencer could blame him for it, cause holy shit, is it ever pretty.
Gabe whispers something to him and then leaves him there turning round to Brendon and Ryan, just looking. “Damn, they really are cute”, he observes and tears his gaze away to focus on Shane and Spencer.
“So, Will’s pretty much up for anything, we talked that over.” Spencer thinks there probably wouldn’t have been much of a difficulty convincing William, but he keeps it to himself. Gabe nods at him. “I believe I also owe someone a pretty awesome fuck”, which is probably Gabe’s way of apologizing for what went down with him and Ryan.
Shane clears his throat. “If Brendon wants to fuck anyone, he’ll have you know. Other then that, you’re both good to go, just keep him safe.”
Now’s probably the part where it’s Spencer’s turn to lay down the law when it comes to Ryan. He wasn’t quite sure he was gonna go there, but…
“I want you to fuck him, just like that one time. I wanna see it.” Cause fuck, he really does. Gabe walks over and sticks his hand out for Spencer to take. “You, bro, are officially in my top five of favourite people right now.”
And then, he does exactly as Spencer had asked, untying William and putting Ryan in his place while William gets down on his knees and all but slobbers all over himself as he gets in between Ryan’s cock and the wall.
Shane nods for Brendon to come over and he settles himself down on the floor in front of the couch, Shane’s hand running through his hair.
To call it a good floor show wouldn’t begin to cover it. Ryan’s… for want of a better word, Jesus Christ, he’s a slut for it, he’s moaning and begging and all but screaming and fuck. Spencer might be staring with his mouth open, but he can’t even care right now. He knows very intimately what Ryan looks and sounds like when he’s getting it good and Gabe Saporta is obviously more then equal to giving it, he’s fucking Ryan into William’s mouth hard and it just. Damn.
Spencer doesn’t argue when Brendon starts running a hand over his crotch while he’s blowing Shane and he definitely doesn’t complain when Brendon fumbles around with his zipper and starts jerking him off. How Brendon can even multitask like that is pretty incredible. He waits until he knows Ryan’s beyond fucking close before he pushes Brendon’s hand away gently and gets up, standing next to Ryan for a moment before leaning forward.
“Don’t you fucking dare come while some other guy is fucking you, Ry”, he whispers and he can feel the muscles in Ryan’s back tightening as he’s trying to hold on. Spencer knows he’s got about ten seconds to stop the action if he really means it, so he grabs a fistful of William’s hair and yanks him back. He doesn’t stop Gabe though, just watches him as he pushes in hard and fast until he’s done, riding out his orgasm with a smile on his face.
Ryan looks about ready to pass out when Gabe pulls out of him, but Spencer really doesn’t consider giving him a break, not at all.
“Shane, if you were gonna?” he gestures at Ryan, who groans, but it doesn’t sound like it’s about Shane getting a turn, so it’s probably the fact that he really, really wants to get off by now. Good.
Shane’s expression changes from shocked to pleased to devious in the time it takes him to pull Brendon off his cock.
“Why I was most definitely gonna, Spence”, he replies with a smirk as he pats Brendon’s head and jerks his head in the general direction of Will and Gabe. Brendon crawls over to them while Shane rolls on a condom and puts a hand on Ryan’s shoulder for a moment.
After that brief gesture of reassuring Ryan, he does his best to fuck him into the wall. It’s Gabe’s vigour and then some and fuck, it’s hot. Spencer spares a second to glance over at the other three, and yeah, they obviously agree, cause they’ve stopped whatever they were doing to catch the show.
Ryan’s probably pretty close to dying if the helpless whimpers are anything to go by, but Spencer really isn’t ready to forgive and forget just yet.
“You really should ask next time, Ry,” he whispers. “That is, if you ever wanna go through this again.” The ability to form coherent words or sentences has deserted Ryan a long time ago, but he heard alright, Spencer’s sure of that.
“You know, if I wanted to be a real bastard about this, I’d ask Brendon and Bill to have a go,” he adds and Ryan screams. Spencer sounds exactly as pleased as he feels when he finishes with “Payback’s a bitch”, just as Shane shoots his load.
The way it plays out is that Brendon’s blowing Ryan while William’s fucking Ryan and Spencer’s fucking William. Basically, Spencer’s using William to fuck Ryan or they fuck once removed or whatever. He really doesn’t give a shit about the terminology, all that counts is that it works, it works very, very well. Also, he’s technically not quite fucking Ryan, so Ryan still can’t come, but he gets to set the pace, so he knows just what to do to drive Ryan completely insane without pushing too far.
Spencer figures Brendon’s trying his best to go easy on Ryan but it’s probably a small blessing. When William comes, it’s pretty fucking hard to not follow suit, but Spencer holds on. He’s not quite done, after all. He’s got a job to finish. He pulls out of William and kisses him briefly, gives him a moment to get out of the way while Spencer finds a new condom and then hugs Ryan from behind.
“You wait till I tell you”, he reminds him before pushing in. It’s completely different then it usually is, Ryan’s lose and open and slick with lube, there’s not the usual struggle and friction and Spencer feels his cock nudging Ryan’s prostate effortlessly.
It’s the closest to fucking a chick that he’s had since Haley and it’s pretty nice for a change. He takes it slow, very, very slow. He can feel Ryan shaking and trembling, his whole body vibrating with need.
“Do you promise you’ll ask next time before you whore yourself out to someone else?” he growls and Ryan is still with it enough to whimper yes or at least Spencer likes to think he did.
“Good.” He pushes in a couple more times, comes hard and pulls out. If Ryan was in any position to strangle him, Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be going for it.
He reaches out to pull Brendon back a little and tilts Brendon’s face up so his eyes are focused on Ryan’s face.
“Now,” Spencer whispers and Ryan comes all over Brendon’s face with a choked, relieved sound that’s close to a sob without anyone so much as touching him.
It’s the hottest thing Spencer’s ever seen in his life, basically.
It’s also probably the longest orgasm he’s ever witnessed or something, when Ryan’s done, his knees buckle and his wrists hang in the restraints limply and he doesn’t even try to move. Brendon helps Spencer to drag Ryan over to the couch and he just collapses there, barely conscious. Spencer holds him and gives him a moment to come to, a pretty long moment in fact.
“You okay?” he asks after a while and Ryan barely manages a nod, but it’s enough.
Title: Stray
Pairings: Spencer/Ryan, Brendon/Shane, William/Gabe and a bit in between
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: D/s, orgasm denial, gang-bang
Disclaimer: lies, folks. Elliott Smith's title.
A/N: Part seven of the chronicles. I was coping with the sap from the last one and this happened. This is the prequel you're gonna need to understand what's going on. Or just have the porn without the plot.
Happily ever after lasts all the way through Africa and when it’s time to go back to the States, they decide to stop off in Chicago for a bit so Jon can go visit his folks before they drag him along to California.
They arrange to meet up with Gabe and Gabe wouldn’t be Gabe if he didn’t have things arranged upon their arrival.
Ryan gets progressively more quiet as Gabe bombards them with text messages hinting at - well, whatever he’s hinting at. Spencer isn’t entirely sure, what with the lack of vowels, but it’s probably something involving copious amounts of kink. They hit a hotel downtown and Ryan sits on the bed, quietly biting his nails.
“We need to talk.”
Spencer gulps and stops unpacking. He isn’t keen on this development, not at all. Ryan and he don’t do talking, they don’t usually need to. If they do, it’s Spencer bugging the shit out of Ryan until Ryan finally comes out with whatever is bothering him. Ryan initiating a conversation like this is probably a sign of the impending apocalypse.
“About meeting up with the guys,” Ryan mumbles, not exactly meeting Spencer’s eyes. “I… there’s something you need to know about Gabe and me.”
He pauses for a moment and Spencer would insert a witty comment about building suspense, but he really isn’t in the mood. There aren’t many things he can think of that involve Gabe Saporta that don’t also somehow involve sex or drugs or both. He knows Ryan isn’t one for drugs. He also knows there’s only one way to go right now.
“You’re about to tell me you fucked around with Gabe?” Spencer doesn’t much believe in avoidance. He knows the answer already, so why not face it. Ryan doesn’t say yes, but he doesn’t need to. As a matter of fact, Ryan’s not saying anything, he’s gone completely still. Spencer knows Ryan’s waiting for him to freak the fuck out, tell him it’s over, possibly beat the shit out of him, whatever.
Spencer giggles. Cause, seriously, what the fuck is he supposed to do? Ryan’s staring at him like he’s lost his mind and he decides he can laugh about it later, once he’s reassured Ryan that he’s not about to go on a killing-spree or send him packing.
“Ry, don’t look at me like that, Jesus.” He puts an arm around Ryan’s shoulder. “It’s Gabe.” Very, very slowly, a tentative smile appears on Ryan’s lips. “You… you don’t mind?” Spencer shakes his head. “Oh, I mind, Ry. I mind plenty, as a matter of fact. You’re mine. If you wanna fuck around, you could at least fucking ask.”
He lets Ryan process that for a moment before adding “I also don’t think Gabe Saporta was ever really competition.”
“He wasn’t”, Ryan blurts out. “It just…William... I happened to be there.”
Spencer briefly wonders if anyone took pictures, but he’s not enough of an ass-hat to ask. All he can think about is how fucking careful he’s been all along, trying to protect Ryan from anything and everything. And Ryan goes and gets off with Gabe fucking Saporta and William Beckett of all people.
“When exactly did that ‘happened to be there’ happen?” he asks and Ryan mumbles something about their first tour. “Ry, you were seventeen!” They hadn’t even. Well, they had, a little, but. While they hadn’t been virgins, they’d still been so fucking innocent. Or so Spencer thought.
Spencer takes a deep breath and lets it out in something between a snort and a laugh. “Well, fuck”, he adds and shakes his head. Then he leans over and kisses Ryan.
“I told you, Ry. Nothing you could do could make me stop loving you, ever.”
“But…”
“Yeah, shut up. Nothing. Ever.”
He waits until he feels Ryan nodding against his shoulder. “I’m sorry”, he whispers and Spencer might be grinning a little bit when he replies “You will be, Ry,” cause that’s a fucking promise right there.
Gabe Saporta is the kind of guy who’d not only have a playroom but a full-fledged dungeon, Spencer can’t pretend he’s surprised. They’ve been at his place for all of fifteen minutes when he mentions that and offers them a tour. Of course he does, that’s why he brought them all here in the first place.
Gabe’s got an eye for interior design or too much money he spends on someone who’s good at this kind of thing, it’s clear in the kitchen and living-room, but even more so in the basement. The walls are dark purple between strategically placed mirrors, everything else is black or silver. It’s a pretty good job on the lighting too, soft enough to not make it look like a porn-film set and bright enough to not be sleazy.
“How do you like what Will’s done with the place?” Gabe inquires with a smirk and Spencer should’ve known, really. The mirrors are a sure giveaway and William probably gets off on the way the indirect lighting makes his skin glow, the pretentious bitch.
Shane grins at him behind Gabe’s back and Spencer smiles back. All of this isn’t so much their usual style, but hey, for a visit, this is pretty cool.
“So, you guys wanna get comfortable?” Gabe offers as he flings himself down on one of the black leather couches. William wouldn’t need an invitation, but he manages to keep his clothes on long enough to figure out everyone’s down with it, he’s polite that way.
Spencer cocks an eyebrow at Ryan. “Nothing they haven’t seen before, right?” Ryan blushes and starts stripping while Gabe exchanges a glance with Spencer and leans over to pat him on the back. Nothing more is said on the subject for the time being.
Brendon’s still waiting for Shane’s okay, but once that’s out of the way, he seems pretty eager to follow suit.
In all, it’s a sight to behold. Ryan and William flanking Brendon, taller then him and slightly paler, each of the three of them breathtakingly beautiful in their own right and combined probably illegal in at least forty-nine states or something.
“Fuck”, Shane comments and that about sums it up. None of the clothed folks on the couch make a move to do anything for a while, cause this is just fine, seriously.
Spencer’s pretty sure he could die happy right now, but eventually, Gabe gets up and walks over to William. William is one very, very pretty boy. While he makes a point of everyone realizing that, it’s still surprising just how fucking hot he really is, the long strands of hair falling into his down-cast face, the way he keeps running his tongue over his full, flushed lips, not quite nervous, not quite seductive, the way you can see the muscles in his throat move as he swallows, the way his fucking collarbones just do their thing… the list kinda goes on.
Shane’s breathing might or might not hitch a tiny little bit as Gabe slowly backs William up against the wall, turns him round and traps his wrists in the black leather restraints attached to said wall. It’s not like Spencer could blame him for it, cause holy shit, is it ever pretty.
Gabe whispers something to him and then leaves him there turning round to Brendon and Ryan, just looking. “Damn, they really are cute”, he observes and tears his gaze away to focus on Shane and Spencer.
“So, Will’s pretty much up for anything, we talked that over.” Spencer thinks there probably wouldn’t have been much of a difficulty convincing William, but he keeps it to himself. Gabe nods at him. “I believe I also owe someone a pretty awesome fuck”, which is probably Gabe’s way of apologizing for what went down with him and Ryan.
Shane clears his throat. “If Brendon wants to fuck anyone, he’ll have you know. Other then that, you’re both good to go, just keep him safe.”
Now’s probably the part where it’s Spencer’s turn to lay down the law when it comes to Ryan. He wasn’t quite sure he was gonna go there, but…
“I want you to fuck him, just like that one time. I wanna see it.” Cause fuck, he really does. Gabe walks over and sticks his hand out for Spencer to take. “You, bro, are officially in my top five of favourite people right now.”
And then, he does exactly as Spencer had asked, untying William and putting Ryan in his place while William gets down on his knees and all but slobbers all over himself as he gets in between Ryan’s cock and the wall.
Shane nods for Brendon to come over and he settles himself down on the floor in front of the couch, Shane’s hand running through his hair.
To call it a good floor show wouldn’t begin to cover it. Ryan’s… for want of a better word, Jesus Christ, he’s a slut for it, he’s moaning and begging and all but screaming and fuck. Spencer might be staring with his mouth open, but he can’t even care right now. He knows very intimately what Ryan looks and sounds like when he’s getting it good and Gabe Saporta is obviously more then equal to giving it, he’s fucking Ryan into William’s mouth hard and it just. Damn.
Spencer doesn’t argue when Brendon starts running a hand over his crotch while he’s blowing Shane and he definitely doesn’t complain when Brendon fumbles around with his zipper and starts jerking him off. How Brendon can even multitask like that is pretty incredible. He waits until he knows Ryan’s beyond fucking close before he pushes Brendon’s hand away gently and gets up, standing next to Ryan for a moment before leaning forward.
“Don’t you fucking dare come while some other guy is fucking you, Ry”, he whispers and he can feel the muscles in Ryan’s back tightening as he’s trying to hold on. Spencer knows he’s got about ten seconds to stop the action if he really means it, so he grabs a fistful of William’s hair and yanks him back. He doesn’t stop Gabe though, just watches him as he pushes in hard and fast until he’s done, riding out his orgasm with a smile on his face.
Ryan looks about ready to pass out when Gabe pulls out of him, but Spencer really doesn’t consider giving him a break, not at all.
“Shane, if you were gonna?” he gestures at Ryan, who groans, but it doesn’t sound like it’s about Shane getting a turn, so it’s probably the fact that he really, really wants to get off by now. Good.
Shane’s expression changes from shocked to pleased to devious in the time it takes him to pull Brendon off his cock.
“Why I was most definitely gonna, Spence”, he replies with a smirk as he pats Brendon’s head and jerks his head in the general direction of Will and Gabe. Brendon crawls over to them while Shane rolls on a condom and puts a hand on Ryan’s shoulder for a moment.
After that brief gesture of reassuring Ryan, he does his best to fuck him into the wall. It’s Gabe’s vigour and then some and fuck, it’s hot. Spencer spares a second to glance over at the other three, and yeah, they obviously agree, cause they’ve stopped whatever they were doing to catch the show.
Ryan’s probably pretty close to dying if the helpless whimpers are anything to go by, but Spencer really isn’t ready to forgive and forget just yet.
“You really should ask next time, Ry,” he whispers. “That is, if you ever wanna go through this again.” The ability to form coherent words or sentences has deserted Ryan a long time ago, but he heard alright, Spencer’s sure of that.
“You know, if I wanted to be a real bastard about this, I’d ask Brendon and Bill to have a go,” he adds and Ryan screams. Spencer sounds exactly as pleased as he feels when he finishes with “Payback’s a bitch”, just as Shane shoots his load.
The way it plays out is that Brendon’s blowing Ryan while William’s fucking Ryan and Spencer’s fucking William. Basically, Spencer’s using William to fuck Ryan or they fuck once removed or whatever. He really doesn’t give a shit about the terminology, all that counts is that it works, it works very, very well. Also, he’s technically not quite fucking Ryan, so Ryan still can’t come, but he gets to set the pace, so he knows just what to do to drive Ryan completely insane without pushing too far.
Spencer figures Brendon’s trying his best to go easy on Ryan but it’s probably a small blessing. When William comes, it’s pretty fucking hard to not follow suit, but Spencer holds on. He’s not quite done, after all. He’s got a job to finish. He pulls out of William and kisses him briefly, gives him a moment to get out of the way while Spencer finds a new condom and then hugs Ryan from behind.
“You wait till I tell you”, he reminds him before pushing in. It’s completely different then it usually is, Ryan’s lose and open and slick with lube, there’s not the usual struggle and friction and Spencer feels his cock nudging Ryan’s prostate effortlessly.
It’s the closest to fucking a chick that he’s had since Haley and it’s pretty nice for a change. He takes it slow, very, very slow. He can feel Ryan shaking and trembling, his whole body vibrating with need.
“Do you promise you’ll ask next time before you whore yourself out to someone else?” he growls and Ryan is still with it enough to whimper yes or at least Spencer likes to think he did.
“Good.” He pushes in a couple more times, comes hard and pulls out. If Ryan was in any position to strangle him, Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be going for it.
He reaches out to pull Brendon back a little and tilts Brendon’s face up so his eyes are focused on Ryan’s face.
“Now,” Spencer whispers and Ryan comes all over Brendon’s face with a choked, relieved sound that’s close to a sob without anyone so much as touching him.
It’s the hottest thing Spencer’s ever seen in his life, basically.
It’s also probably the longest orgasm he’s ever witnessed or something, when Ryan’s done, his knees buckle and his wrists hang in the restraints limply and he doesn’t even try to move. Brendon helps Spencer to drag Ryan over to the couch and he just collapses there, barely conscious. Spencer holds him and gives him a moment to come to, a pretty long moment in fact.
“You okay?” he asks after a while and Ryan barely manages a nod, but it’s enough.