Never Never Land
Note: So my friend was going to fail because she didn't have her work in so to prevent her from failng, I completed an assignment for her. The assignment was to write a story based on a song. I chose "Never Never Land" by Scott Alan, which is the song I just sang at the theatre.
As I sit at my desk, working through the stack of papers, I think of my kids at home. My son Eric is only 10, but he helps to watch my little Elivia when I have to stay late. She's only 6. I am 32 years old, and a single mother. My husband and I finally seperated 20 months ago, after years of fighting. My daughter is resentful of having "Mommy's house" and "Pop's house," and it is encouraged by her grandmother telling her that she doesn't believe in divorce. Last I knew, it wasn't her marriage to save.
I look again at the clock-I can't leave for 40 more minutes. By now Eric would've already sat down and eat with Liv. They probably ate the mac and cheese cold, because Liv gets scared that the microwave is going to blow up. She doesn't want Eric to get hurt, but she especially doesn't want to be left alone. Poor kid. I know that I did this to her, with my screwed up choices, but I believe she'll get used to the divorce. It wasn't horrible. It was pretty amicable, no dragging the children to court or any threats of the sort. In a way I think we had always expected it, so it wasn't out of nowhere.
My mother should talk, she may have "saved her marriage" by not divorcing my father, but she didn't save my relationship with her. She didn't save me, her own child. When I was a child, I would sit curled on my bed, listening to the raised voices outside my room. Just when it got quieter, my father would come in and hit me. He told me it was my fault that my mother was upset with him, and so he had to punish me. I never forgave him. I'd sit curled tight in a ball, and wish that I could fly away somewhere-anywhere! I'd dream of going to Never Never Land where no parent could follow. I'd go on adventures with Peter and the lost boys, I'd sneak up on Captain Hook. In Never Never Land, I could do anything and not get into trouble. No one would yell at me for upsetting my mother; no one would even have a mother.
So still I dream of my escape. I'd become younger, and able to strip away all the maturity and hardships. I'd be pure and childlike once again. I'd live happy, if I could live in my own world. If I hadn't had kids and a husband of my own I could've stayed wherever I wished. If I didn't have a pair of children waiting for me to do their laundry and dishes and tuck them into bed.
Sometimes I wonder if Eric or Elivia dream of Never Never Land the way I did as a child, but I'm too afraid to ask. I've tried to do my best. My husband, though he and I divorced, is a decent man and never once hit our children. We just live separate lives and he is not a man for discipline. If it were up to him, the children would be allowed to roam free without any restrictions. With him everything is about fun, but if he has to something serious with the kids, or he'd rather go out and drink with friends...That's just Frank.
When the kids are tucked in, the dishes are washed, and the laundry taken care of, though, I can dream my night away as a child in Never Never Land...until the next piercing ring of my alarm clock that signifies the beginning of another day in my adult life.
As I sit at my desk, working through the stack of papers, I think of my kids at home. My son Eric is only 10, but he helps to watch my little Elivia when I have to stay late. She's only 6. I am 32 years old, and a single mother. My husband and I finally seperated 20 months ago, after years of fighting. My daughter is resentful of having "Mommy's house" and "Pop's house," and it is encouraged by her grandmother telling her that she doesn't believe in divorce. Last I knew, it wasn't her marriage to save.
I look again at the clock-I can't leave for 40 more minutes. By now Eric would've already sat down and eat with Liv. They probably ate the mac and cheese cold, because Liv gets scared that the microwave is going to blow up. She doesn't want Eric to get hurt, but she especially doesn't want to be left alone. Poor kid. I know that I did this to her, with my screwed up choices, but I believe she'll get used to the divorce. It wasn't horrible. It was pretty amicable, no dragging the children to court or any threats of the sort. In a way I think we had always expected it, so it wasn't out of nowhere.
My mother should talk, she may have "saved her marriage" by not divorcing my father, but she didn't save my relationship with her. She didn't save me, her own child. When I was a child, I would sit curled on my bed, listening to the raised voices outside my room. Just when it got quieter, my father would come in and hit me. He told me it was my fault that my mother was upset with him, and so he had to punish me. I never forgave him. I'd sit curled tight in a ball, and wish that I could fly away somewhere-anywhere! I'd dream of going to Never Never Land where no parent could follow. I'd go on adventures with Peter and the lost boys, I'd sneak up on Captain Hook. In Never Never Land, I could do anything and not get into trouble. No one would yell at me for upsetting my mother; no one would even have a mother.
So still I dream of my escape. I'd become younger, and able to strip away all the maturity and hardships. I'd be pure and childlike once again. I'd live happy, if I could live in my own world. If I hadn't had kids and a husband of my own I could've stayed wherever I wished. If I didn't have a pair of children waiting for me to do their laundry and dishes and tuck them into bed.
Sometimes I wonder if Eric or Elivia dream of Never Never Land the way I did as a child, but I'm too afraid to ask. I've tried to do my best. My husband, though he and I divorced, is a decent man and never once hit our children. We just live separate lives and he is not a man for discipline. If it were up to him, the children would be allowed to roam free without any restrictions. With him everything is about fun, but if he has to something serious with the kids, or he'd rather go out and drink with friends...That's just Frank.
When the kids are tucked in, the dishes are washed, and the laundry taken care of, though, I can dream my night away as a child in Never Never Land...until the next piercing ring of my alarm clock that signifies the beginning of another day in my adult life.