round and round, we go.....
...
It's difficult to bring myself to update this journal in the shadow of Balance's passing but I will do my best.I feel heartsick.Just when I think things are calm,I start to cry again.Is it just me or has anyone else noticed a sudden rise in freak accidents among the scene(Balance,Stapleton,Almond,Tibet)lately? It's almost as if the brightest stars are fading out.I just lit a candle for him and placed it in the window,which I will let burn out on its own.I am so sad.The cats seem to sense that something is just not right with me.The most loving wishes on your new journey,Jhonn.
Kensaku arrives tommarrow in Chicago to stay with me for a week.He couldn't have come at a better time.It will be nice to be held,to feel human and have someone nearby again,someone who actually understands me.I'm really looking forward to the Psychic TV show,although i'm wondering what mood Gen will be in now.
Saturday night was Laibach.Great show..i have a bruise the size and color of a small fruit on my left thigh from slamming my thigh up against the barricade(yea,so i got a bit enthusiastic)..i seemed to be the only person dancing,the crowd was pretty dull.Was really great running into secretarydiana,Jeffrey & Phil.Also met some guys from the Czech Republic that now do art in the Flat Iron building...one of them was taking pictures during the show.The security took my batteries away from the digital I snuck in..bastards.I didn't want to blow too much $$ so i bought a Laibach pin and condoms that read "anti-semitism" on one side and "Achtung!" w/ the Death's head on the other(chuckle).After the show,I waited downstairs and ran into Nikolai(from the band) who proceeded to buy me voldka/cranberries the rest of the night and told me that if i returned before the show on the second night,he'd get me a press pass to shoot photos and get in free.I went over to
Smart Bar(admission was free) and ran into both the owner of WW2 record label and Evet,which was a bit strange.Went home,passed out,spent the whole next day alternating between hugging the toilet bowl and sleeping..vodka is definitely my poison.
Woke up about 5:30 pm,decided to blow off the Laibach thing and go support Devendra Banhart/Ben from 6 Organs of Admittance at the performance in Logan Square.Ended up getting in free on the 6 Organs guest list as Ben saw me standing in the hallway,and I spent no $$ at that show,which was nice change of pace.Talked to both guys before they went on stage(what a great pairing).Another really good show,although I was surprised to actually see Devendra wearing shoes & performing with a backup band of varius musicians.It was also Ben's last performance with Devendra.Relayed a greeting to Devendra from Madigan(bonfire madigan who opened for Laibach-they are good friends)and said farewell.Went home,logged in,discovered the tradgedy that happened and that brings me to now.I'm afraid to sleep,afraid of bad dreams coming.Fuck,i just got chills..i have been listening to a mp3 of various downloaded stuff frolm Soulseek and a live Coil interview just came on.Eerie.It is so surreal to hear him speaking.A ripple in Time and Space.
My fortune cookie today reads:"The best profit of future is the Past",whatever the Hell that means.
It's difficult to bring myself to update this journal in the shadow of Balance's passing but I will do my best.I feel heartsick.Just when I think things are calm,I start to cry again.Is it just me or has anyone else noticed a sudden rise in freak accidents among the scene(Balance,Stapleton,Almond,Tibet)lately? It's almost as if the brightest stars are fading out.I just lit a candle for him and placed it in the window,which I will let burn out on its own.I am so sad.The cats seem to sense that something is just not right with me.The most loving wishes on your new journey,Jhonn.
Kensaku arrives tommarrow in Chicago to stay with me for a week.He couldn't have come at a better time.It will be nice to be held,to feel human and have someone nearby again,someone who actually understands me.I'm really looking forward to the Psychic TV show,although i'm wondering what mood Gen will be in now.
Saturday night was Laibach.Great show..i have a bruise the size and color of a small fruit on my left thigh from slamming my thigh up against the barricade(yea,so i got a bit enthusiastic)..i seemed to be the only person dancing,the crowd was pretty dull.Was really great running into secretarydiana,Jeffrey & Phil.Also met some guys from the Czech Republic that now do art in the Flat Iron building...one of them was taking pictures during the show.The security took my batteries away from the digital I snuck in..bastards.I didn't want to blow too much $$ so i bought a Laibach pin and condoms that read "anti-semitism" on one side and "Achtung!" w/ the Death's head on the other(chuckle).After the show,I waited downstairs and ran into Nikolai(from the band) who proceeded to buy me voldka/cranberries the rest of the night and told me that if i returned before the show on the second night,he'd get me a press pass to shoot photos and get in free.I went over to
Smart Bar(admission was free) and ran into both the owner of WW2 record label and Evet,which was a bit strange.Went home,passed out,spent the whole next day alternating between hugging the toilet bowl and sleeping..vodka is definitely my poison.
Woke up about 5:30 pm,decided to blow off the Laibach thing and go support Devendra Banhart/Ben from 6 Organs of Admittance at the performance in Logan Square.Ended up getting in free on the 6 Organs guest list as Ben saw me standing in the hallway,and I spent no $$ at that show,which was nice change of pace.Talked to both guys before they went on stage(what a great pairing).Another really good show,although I was surprised to actually see Devendra wearing shoes & performing with a backup band of varius musicians.It was also Ben's last performance with Devendra.Relayed a greeting to Devendra from Madigan(bonfire madigan who opened for Laibach-they are good friends)and said farewell.Went home,logged in,discovered the tradgedy that happened and that brings me to now.I'm afraid to sleep,afraid of bad dreams coming.Fuck,i just got chills..i have been listening to a mp3 of various downloaded stuff frolm Soulseek and a live Coil interview just came on.Eerie.It is so surreal to hear him speaking.A ripple in Time and Space.
My fortune cookie today reads:"The best profit of future is the Past",whatever the Hell that means.