(no subject)
Well once again I find myself at the bottom of a dark hole. A dark hole that is a symbol of my soul, empty and filled with nothing but darkness trying to consume everything to make it whole again. Well I find that everytime I try to consume its not enough, so I try harder and harder to pull everything into me but it seems they have a way of escaping. I've had it with all this shit of trying to get a girlfriend or at least a girl who to have a connection with. Everytime I be nice to a girl, when I build up my feelings for them, THEY CRUSH them to the ground and call me their friend. Thats all it is isnt it? Nice guys dont get chances, I might as well cut my throat and save everyone the trouble. Ha! what trouble? Nobody even fucking notices me. Ima ghost, a figment of everyone's imaginaiton, a imaginary friend who seems to be always there for those people to keep them comfortable and happy. When will I be happy? Huh?! Tell me godammit I deserve to know! All these years I have been alone and haven't said a godamn to another soul about it except the girls I pour my heart to. They must have gotten so drunk of it that they go for any warm body near them that tells them they are pretty and doesn't know a Godamn thing about them. This isn't just one of my dark thoughts....oh no....I have thought alot worse. I'm so angry I could kill a person. Just being able to destroy something thats living, to watch them slowly die, to have thier blood splatter on my face while they look into my dark eyes as their heart slowly beat till it beats no more. Everyone around me is happy...some have those who care for them and tend to thier emotional needs. Am I being denied these rights? Or is it because I dont approach women with what they want to hear but already know? I have to act like an idiot and go out on a limb. Ha ha ha ha...I feel so delightful. I can express my dark thoughts freely now. Yes...so Marvelous this feels...One day I will share them with the world