LJ Idol: Season 9, Week 7: No True Scotsman
Yeah, because this happened today.
I don’t like my crazy labels much, not that I think anyone like theirs. But I have them, and not without good reason, so I have to take care of my brain much like a diabetic has to take care of their blood sugar. Not so different, but us mentally interesting folks don’t have a meter to tell us when our shit’s fucked up. Our brains will just tell us, except not quite like a number readout with a range that’s good.
It’s also not a very reliable meter. Mine likes to tell me I’m doing better than I really am, or is convinced I’m not doing so good when in reality I’m doing better than I’ve done in a while. I used to like to think I had a decent handle on what my brain was doing, but time after time it has made me look like a chump.
So I met with my psychiatrist today. I’ve been prescribed a medication for bipolar depression that is technically referred to as an atypical antipsychotic. Names mean a lot in our culture. We can hide damn near anything we want, or load something with all sorts of baggage, just by calling it something as a euphemism or pejorative.
So of course my Scumbag Brain has immediately engaged into Depressed Logic mode. You see, it also doesn’t hurt that I am really good at getting my shit together just for those 30 minutes I meet with any medical provider and I don’t seem like I’m really that bad off. What goes on in my mind you ask? Here’s the following chain of logic.
1) I’ve been prescribed an antipsychotic medication.
2) I must be psychotic.
3) Wait, maybe it’s Not So Bad if I don’t take it.
4) If I don’t take it, I must not be psychotic.
5) ...profit?
Of course I was not prescribed the drug because of psychosis. Scumbag Brain does not recognize that many drugs are used for purposes not related to brain misbehavior. Wellbutrin is used for smoking cessation as well as depression. Many anti-epileptic drugs are used to help control bipolar disorder. But that word gets stuck in my brain. My treatment is on-label for the depression I’ve been diagnosed with.
So will I take the medicine? Let’s find out. It hasn’t gone so well so far. Every day is a new day though. My heart goes out to those who deal with this crap like I do, but here’s to everyone seeing it as something that needs dealing with and treatment, not a stigma.
I don’t like my crazy labels much, not that I think anyone like theirs. But I have them, and not without good reason, so I have to take care of my brain much like a diabetic has to take care of their blood sugar. Not so different, but us mentally interesting folks don’t have a meter to tell us when our shit’s fucked up. Our brains will just tell us, except not quite like a number readout with a range that’s good.
It’s also not a very reliable meter. Mine likes to tell me I’m doing better than I really am, or is convinced I’m not doing so good when in reality I’m doing better than I’ve done in a while. I used to like to think I had a decent handle on what my brain was doing, but time after time it has made me look like a chump.
So I met with my psychiatrist today. I’ve been prescribed a medication for bipolar depression that is technically referred to as an atypical antipsychotic. Names mean a lot in our culture. We can hide damn near anything we want, or load something with all sorts of baggage, just by calling it something as a euphemism or pejorative.
So of course my Scumbag Brain has immediately engaged into Depressed Logic mode. You see, it also doesn’t hurt that I am really good at getting my shit together just for those 30 minutes I meet with any medical provider and I don’t seem like I’m really that bad off. What goes on in my mind you ask? Here’s the following chain of logic.
1) I’ve been prescribed an antipsychotic medication.
2) I must be psychotic.
3) Wait, maybe it’s Not So Bad if I don’t take it.
4) If I don’t take it, I must not be psychotic.
5) ...profit?
Of course I was not prescribed the drug because of psychosis. Scumbag Brain does not recognize that many drugs are used for purposes not related to brain misbehavior. Wellbutrin is used for smoking cessation as well as depression. Many anti-epileptic drugs are used to help control bipolar disorder. But that word gets stuck in my brain. My treatment is on-label for the depression I’ve been diagnosed with.
So will I take the medicine? Let’s find out. It hasn’t gone so well so far. Every day is a new day though. My heart goes out to those who deal with this crap like I do, but here’s to everyone seeing it as something that needs dealing with and treatment, not a stigma.