translation
vid
from the main gintama comm, posted by spartydragon
disclaimer: er, excuse my rusty chinese.
Title: Burning Akihabara! (?)
Sugita (S): I heard that the next place is somewhere really dangerous. Don't let your guard down. We're putting our lives on the line here. ...Wait, this car's roof is probably too short for you.
Tanaka (T): It's okay.
S: OK. Let's go!
S: Hey, Tanaka... There's a really evil aura emanating from that place. Owowowowowow. You should've helped me! Let's go.
[the sign says "Weapon House"]
S: It's this place, huh. Eh, Tanaka! Look at that fabulous line up! Great, I'd like to understand more about the goods here. Let's take a look!
S: This size may be more suitable... Hmm, this is pretty heavy. ! Looks like something Kamen Ninja would use!
S: Ah, this one's great. My grandpa used to bring this sort of weapon to climb a mountain. When we (?) got lost on the mountain, he would go to this sort of slope and take a look, and said we won't get lost again like that. In the end we/he (?) made one big round and came back to the back door of our house.
[the red words say "this is difficult to understand". hahaha yeah i can't figure out what sugita is trying to say here either!!]
S: Oh, this one's great too! You can put this at your waist and suddenly draw it out! (I think that's what he says??) Awesome.
S: Is this a new kind of massage device?
S: But I'll still pick this.
S: OK, Tanaka, playtime's over. We're going to take a look at the mystery of this street next.
S: Alright! Preparations are complete. Let's head to the next place. (to the shopkeeper) Excuse me! Is it possible to engrave the three words "Touyako" on this? Tou - touyako.
S: Tanaka... Tanaka - this is a new ritual.
S: ...Terrible! This is terrible!
[red words: the life of ____ is once again...] (sorry the resolution is pretty poor so i can't figure out the first two words)
S: But the next victim has already appeared. Let's go!
S: Argh! The evil aura! ...Look Tanaka! This place is actually called MOESHAM... Are we to go into MOESHAM next! This place is dangerous. (to Tanaka) Prepare yourself. Let's go!
S: Oomph! I bumped into something again.
S: MOESHAM! Is this it? Tanaka - we don't know what will leap out of this place, so be careful!
T: (struggles with the door)
S: Hey. Here. It's probably like this... (pulls door open) Isn't that right?
S: (seriously) It's here, huh.
Maid-shampoo-girl? (M): Welcome, masters-sama!
T: (about to draw something from his jacket)
S: Stop it, Tanaka! We still can't tell if it's dangerous or not. Let's observe the situation a while.
M: Are you the masters who have already booked an appointment?
S: (nods)
T: (draws something out from his jacket)
S: Stop it Tanaka! Don't do this. Put that dangerous object away. ...don't put a mosaic over it!
T: (about to eat the cucumber/bittergourd)
S: Don't eat it!!
S: C'mon, please do this properly. Put that thing away; put it away. Isn't that too big anyway?
S: Hehe. Now we shall proceed with the washing of our hair.
T: (already in the seat)
S: Oi, Tanaka! Where do you think you're going to get shampooed at?!
T: ...er, the moustache.
S: Ah... I see...
S: Hmm... is this the rumoured canned ______ (I have no idea what is guan1 dong1 zhu3?) and canned ramen?
S: Hmm... looks suspicious. Let's try the taste for real.
S; (looks up at T) Even if you don't test this for poison it should be fine right? You think there probably should be a limit as to how good this would taste right? (?? not sure exactly if I'm translating this correct)
S: Yum!
S: (takes a few deep breaths) Spicy! It's spicy after all! Spicy spicy spicy spicy!
S: Wait, Tanaka. It's a phone call. (whips out cucumber/bittergourd) *phone sound efx courtesy of sugita* Hi, this is Sugita. ERK. What did you say!? (to Tanaka) This is bad, seems like there's been an explosion. Let's hurry there!
S: *bumps into car roof* Owowowowowow.
S: What a dangerous district. Tanaka, if (we) should die here, I heard that the pain at the moment of death will last forever more. That must be torturous.
S: Ok. The next place is beckoning us. Let's go! Oh! Before that... I seem to have forgotten to buy something. Can I go buy it? I quite like to play with an eggbeater (?? or is it that plush toy thing that you have to use pincers to pick up??). The kind that you have to turn/wind. The last time I wound it 3 times and the thing that came out was exactly the same. Shall we go wind it again? Shall we?
S: ...this was recorded? It was recorded!
[credits]
S: Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
S: Eto... I want to cut the hairstyle that Nakamura Yoichi had 3 years ago.
S: That can't be played with. ...Ow!
-end-
banzai for procrastination lol.