all the lights that lead us there are blinding; Kurt/Sam Glee fic
title: all the lights that lead us there are blinding
fandom: Glee
pairing: Kurt/Sam
rating: PG-13
words: ~3,100
warnings: spoilers for "Sexy"
summary: For Kurt sex is weird, and not being sexy is probably one of the worst things that could happen, worse than a bad hair day, worse than Rachel Berry beating you in a solo contest.
notes: big BIG thank you to setos_puppy for the prompt of asexual Kurt/Sam, as well as waiting forever and a day for this to be written ♥ I started to write this before "Sexy" aired, then it did air, and asexual!Kurt just wrote itself.
Sex. The word runs through in Kurt’s mouth, and even the word feels harsh in his mouth like the act itself - an unclear slipping in the beginning of the word into the rest of it, ending in a clattering and rough punch that slips away with the same sound that starts it.
Not being “sexy” is probably one of the worst things that could happen, worse than a bad hair day, worse than Rachel Berry beating you in a solo contest, worse than a zit appearing on your face on class photo day. It’s what gets you noticed; it’s the currency for most things for people his age, it’s the unspoken language of the sultry glances shared across rooms.
He didn’t even know that he didn’t have sex appeal until Blaine mentioned it. Kurt couldn’t figure out if he was more bothered by the fact that he apparently had as much sex appeal as Mumble Happyfeet, or because Blaine saw it as a problem.
--
Whistling light arpeggios that Pavarotti repeats, Kurt sits in front of his mirror, three quarters way through his moisturizing routine when he hears a familiar tri-tone chirp indicating that that he has received an incoming text message. The canary flaps his wings and copies the text message alert sound while his owner huffs, half annoyed that someone would be bothering him during what anybody who knows Kurt, a no-contact hour, fearful that they would be ranted to about how he didn’t keep such great pores by simple Dove soap. Begrudgingly, Kurt grabs his phone from the table and upon seeing the name of the messenger, he sits up a little straighter.
hi :)
Kurt furrows his brows. He hasn’t talked to Sam in any form other than infrequent Facebook wall postings since he transferred to Dalton. Curious, Kurt replies, typing out a short message.
Hello Sam. What’s wrong?
A few seconds later, Sam’s reply pops on the screen.
what somethings wrong?!?!
Snickering as he crosses one leg over the other, Kurt types a reply.
No, nothing’s wrong. I was just wondering why you messaged me when I haven’t talked to you in like, forever.
It takes a little bit longer for Sam to reply this time.
it’s just that since you transferred I haven’t got to know you like I know the other glee members. I think youre cool.
With a towel he wipes his face clean, and Kurt falls into his bed with his phone, smiling as he continues the conversation.
--
Their text messages turn into phone calls and Skype sessions that are hours long. At first, Kurt would have thought that it would be awkward to talk with Sam, but he soon finds out that isn’t so. Sam is relatable, and understands most things that Kurt talks about, and all around is generally great to talk to. Kurt talks about musicals and Sam discusses the merits of each Star Trek series, and they exchange stories about what happened at each other’s schools on that day. Conversing with Sam becomes the high point in Kurt’s day, having the blonde’s golden retriever like enthusiasm brighten his mood.
And Kurt finds himself falling for him. More than the time before, when it was a quick, fly by the day passing of maybe this boy can be my boyfriend.
But he remembers what his father said, about not going after a boy who isn’t interested, so Kurt does not repeat his actions from earlier in the year when he tried to pressure Sam into performing a duet with him. It’s working pretty well.
--
During one of their late night Skype conversations, Sam is displayed on Kurt’s laptop screen with his hair flopping into his eyes as he looks down, speaking in sharp fragments as he texts furiously on his phone.
“Santana - didn’t - don’t - stop that.”
“Ah,” Kurt says simply, smirking as he rearranges himself on his bed, lying on his stomach while placing his laptop in front of him. He rests his head on his hands, his chin digging into his palms while his fingers splay against his cheeks, framing his face. “What’s the crisis this time?”
“Complaining that Mr. Schue paired her with Brittany for this project for glee club. Well, she’s not actually complaining, she’s just kind of talking angrily about it…” Sam’s voice tails off, and he places his phone in an unseen place from the camera.
“How is Santana? And you?” Kurt asks.
Sam shrugs and fiddles with something out of camera range. “Okay I guess. She’s very, um, pushy. Touchy. Very different than being with Quinn.”
Without him saying it exactly, Kurt knew what Sam was talking about. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No! Not really. It’s not like she forced me to do something or anything…” Sam looks up at the screen, biting his lip. “You know you’re pretty much my only friend right now. I used to be close to Finn, but now it’s weird because of the whole Quinn thing.”
“Yes,” Kurt says. His step brother had confessed to him one night when Kurt had brought him soup when still stricken with Mono. Finn rambled, explaining how he felt that irresistible urge to be with Quinn, wanted to touch her everywhere, kiss her, and wanted every fiber of his body to be with hers. Kurt had thought Finn delirious with a fever.
“Can I ask you something…personal? It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Sam says hurriedly.
“Sure.”
“Have you…you know.” Sam motions with his hands. “Have you had sex?” Sam asks in a whisper.
He’s somewhat honored that Sam would discuss “guy talk” with him, something that no other guy has done without being afraid he’d gay all over it, and Kurt blushes. It seems like Blaine was right, sex is everywhere and he better get used to anyway. He’s embarrassed that he is a virgin, ashamed even, because it seems to be just as taboo to be not sexually active as it is to be into hardcore kinks.
Kurt compulsively checks around his room to make sure he’s alone, and clears his throat. “No. I haven’t.” He doesn’t look into the webcam as he says it.
Sam blinks, and takes in a deep breath. “I hadn’t either, until Santana. And well, it feels good, I guess, but - is this making you uncomfortable?”
Kurt runs a hand through his hair. Yes, his mind supplies but instead he says, “Nope.” He could deal with hearing about heterosexual things.
“Santana’s like really into it, like really, really into sex and stuff. But I feel really awkward. I just feel so out of my skin. I don’t know Kurt.”
He doesn’t know what to say, so Kurt stares at Sam with his mouth slightly parted.
“I know it’s weird. Now you know why I couldn’t talk to any of the other guys, they’d say I was gay or something because it’s San-freaking-tana. And the more I started to think about it, I don’t think I’d want to be in the same situation with, uh, any other girl.”
“So…are you telling me that you are gay?” Kurt asks.
“No.”
“Then you’re bisexual?”
“Not really.”
“Then what...?”
Sam swallows. “You’re the first person I’ve told,” he says, looking at Kurt with serious eyes, his eyebrows knitted together. “I’m…asexual.”
“Oh…?” Definitely not what Kurt was expecting to hear. From his experience in looking at LGBT websites, Kurt has seen some mentions of asexuality, but he has never put much stalk into it.
Sam grins, and lets out a chuckle of relief. “It feels so good to finally say that to somebody. I knew you’d understand.”
“Of course,” Kurt says. “I’m happy that you feel comfortable enough with me to come out.” And he really is glad.
--
That night after he and Sam end their conversation, Kurt opens up multiple tabs in Firefox searching for things on the internet related to asexuality. When he read things about it previously, he did not consider it much (even though it often crossed his mind again after the fact, more than once). He ends up staying up later than he normally does even though he knows that it will be detrimental to the dark circles under his eyes, and he reads everything he can find. Blogs, entire websites, and forums dedicated to asexuality. As he intently listens to all the video blogs he can find and reads information and personal stories from people all over the world, one thing becomes clear as the hours of night slips into early morning.
That they were talking about him.
Almost everything that Kurt reads he finds himself agreeing with. Anything and everything that he had ever thought about regarding sex that he was never to articulate into words, is all in front of him - and he’s not weird, not a stupid inexperienced virgin, or a baby penguin. There are other people like him.
Kurt shuts his laptop and crawls into bed, covering himself with his overstuffed hypoallergenic comforter. He already knows who he is, and he has fought hard for it. He had all but shouted that he was gay to everyone - his dad, his friends, the entire school. Kurt didn’t want to think about going back now and saying that he was actually attracted to nobody.
--
The next day, Kurt plans to take advantage of the Saturday, but he wakes up at his normal time anyway due to habit and his mind is too busy anyway to be quieted enough for sleep. He lies in bed fitfully for an hour before giving up and grabs his iPhone from his nightstand and sends Sam a text, asking if he wants to meet up later. Less than a minute passes before Sam replies with a chipper “sure!” complete with a smiley face.
Kurt stands outside the coffee shop, and pulls his jacket tighter around himself as he sees Sam approaching. In his mind, he’s attempting to formulate his thoughts into clear, concise ones, but everything he wants to say becomes more muddled when he finds Sam coming to a halt next to him with his signature half grin, and the words that he carefully planned on the ride through town pour out his mouth in a disjointed mess.
“Last night, when you said you were asexual?” Kurt begins, with his statement turning into a question unintentionally. Sam nods with a concerned look on his face, so Kurt continues. “It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard about it - or thought about it for that matter. I know…I know who I am. You didn’t know me before I was able to be honest with myself to everyone else.”
Kurt bites his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. He wishes that Sam would say something, to make this awkward silence go away. “The thing is though that I think I’m asexual too. I think I’ve known it for awhile but I didn’t really realize it…sex stuff is like, ugh, I don’t know. I want that intimate closeness, of being with one person.”
“That’s what I want,” Sam says, smiling.
“But, how can I even begin to explain this to other people, if I can hardly get it out to myself?” Kurt asks softly.
“It doesn’t matter,” Sam answers. “You - we, can work it out together.”
Kurt looks around, his eyes not focusing on anything specific and tries to keep his eyes from tearing up. “It’s weird, you know? It’s like everything I knew, I thought, I look at it differently now.”
“Why though? You’re still the same person.”
Kurt shrugs, and wipes the dampness away from his cheek.
“You’re not giving up your identity,” Sam says. “Your identity is who you are, not what you like and don’t like. Labels don’t define you.” This resonates with Kurt, and he throws his arms around Sam and pulls him into a close hug and burrows his face in the boy’s shoulder.
“Thank you,” Kurt whispers.
--
For once, it seems like things work out nicely. Santana breaks up with Sam to be with Brittany, which isn’t a shock to anyone. Kurt ends up transferring back to McKinley, and everyone is overjoyed that they have their countertenor and their friend back where they can see him on an everyday basis. Kurt is just glad that he can wear his expansive selection of a wardrobe to school and that can be with his boyfriend.
Kurt still gets fluttery in the chest when he thinks of Sam of his boyfriend. After chasing Blaine around for the better part for a few months, it’s great to be with someone that fully understands him and does not condone things that he feels. The switch to dating seems almost natural after the amount of talking the two has been doing the past few weeks. Apart from a few quips from Quinn saying how she couldn’t believe she was Sam’s beard for that long, and one from Lauren noting that about a quarter of the glee club was gay, everyone is supportive about Kurt and Sam’s relationship.
A week after Kurt returns to McKinley, Sam raises his hand during glee, asking Mr. Schuester if he can sing a song. Kurt raises a brow; Sam hadn’t mentioned to him that he was working on a song. Sam notices Kurt’s bewildered expression, and grins.
“This is for somebody special,” the blonde boy says as he steps in front of the piano and slips his guitar strap over his shoulder and softly strums his hand over the strings of the instrument. Kurt feels himself blushing.
Sam begins playing the beginning chords, and Kurt recognizes the song as do most of the members, and the girls sigh happily as Kurt hides his massive smile behind his hands.
“And all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding, there are many things that I’d like to say to you but I don’t know how…” Sam sings the song, pacing around a little in the area in front of the people sitting in front of him, keeping eye contact with Kurt the entire time.
“And after all, you’re my wonderwall…”
When Sam’s done and reclaims his seat next to Kurt, Puck punches Sam on the shoulder.
“I know who’s getting some tonight,” Puck says, wiggling his eyebrows.
Sam chuckles, and glances over to Kurt and they share a knowing smile.
--
Kurt runs his hands through soap suds as Sam slips into the water with him, sitting at the opposite end of the bathtub. It’s the first time that Kurt’s nude with another guy, but instead of it feeling awkward it feels right; innocent and without expectation from another, there’s just the appreciation of being together and sharing an intimate moment. Romance.
“You sure your dad and Carole and Finn won’t be back until later?” Sam asks.
Thumbing the dampness between his fingers, Kurt shakes his head. “Dad took Carole to this Leo DiCaprio movie marathon thing - my suggestion, and Finn is with Rachel. They’re working through their problems,” he says, framing the last word in air quotes with his fingers.
“Awesome.” Sam laughs.
“What?”
“You know that if Finn and Rachel didn’t have sexual things in their relationship, they wouldn’t have had any the problems they’ve had?”
Kurt thinks about it for a second, before breaking into laughter too. “We know how to enjoy the finer things,” he teases, as he flicks some water towards Sam. Sam mocks an over exaggerated gasp, and splashes water back at Kurt.
--
“This is your sexual education class, two-point-o,” Holly Holiday says as she paces the room. “What did we learn last time?”
“Cucumbers don’t give your AIDS,” Mercedes says.
“Right! Now we’re going to talk about acceptance of other orientations -”
“But Ms. Holiday, it’s not us that has a problem with people that aren’t heterosexual,” Rachel points out.
“That may be true, be we can start here and spread the love all around! Now, I have a song in mind - Gay Bar by the Electric Six,” she says, nodding to the jazz band for them to get their instruments ready while Mr. Schuester motions with his hands, obviously thinking that the song is too risqué.
“It’s cool Mr. Schue, we know how gay sex goes. I think Sam and Kurt here know very well,” Santana slyly says, smacking Puck when he remarks how she would know too.
“Actually, no,” Kurt mutters, not knowing that he spoke aloud until everyone else is looking at him.
“No?” Artie asks.
Sam shakes his head, and glances to Kurt and says, “If you want to.”
Kurt gathers some courage. “I’m asexual, actually,” he says, with Sam chiming in with revealing that he is, too.
After a few moments of silence, Finn breaks the tension. “I thought you were gay.”
“Well, I am gay. I do like guys. I’m just not sexually attracted to them, even though I still want to have a relationship with them,” Kurt explains.
It looks like it goes over Finn’s head, along with a few others. Kurt grabs Sam’s hand, “We’re happy together and have just as a functional relationship as anyone else. There’s nothing wrong with us.”
“We didn’t say there was,” Mike says.
“Yeah,” Brittany agrees. “It’s cool, you’re like best friends but better.”
Kurt doesn’t even get annoyed later when people drag him around to dance, because he’s so happy.
After practice, Sam walks next to Kurt to his car. Without saying anything, Sam takes Kurt’s hand in his and brushes against his palm with his thumb and Kurt leans against him, nuzzling his face against Sam’s cheek. Sighing happily, Kurt realizes that everything is okay, and that he isn’t lost in what he is and what he is not.
--
for more questions and stuff regarding asexuality, visit here :)
fandom: Glee
pairing: Kurt/Sam
rating: PG-13
words: ~3,100
warnings: spoilers for "Sexy"
summary: For Kurt sex is weird, and not being sexy is probably one of the worst things that could happen, worse than a bad hair day, worse than Rachel Berry beating you in a solo contest.
notes: big BIG thank you to setos_puppy for the prompt of asexual Kurt/Sam, as well as waiting forever and a day for this to be written ♥ I started to write this before "Sexy" aired, then it did air, and asexual!Kurt just wrote itself.
Sex. The word runs through in Kurt’s mouth, and even the word feels harsh in his mouth like the act itself - an unclear slipping in the beginning of the word into the rest of it, ending in a clattering and rough punch that slips away with the same sound that starts it.
Not being “sexy” is probably one of the worst things that could happen, worse than a bad hair day, worse than Rachel Berry beating you in a solo contest, worse than a zit appearing on your face on class photo day. It’s what gets you noticed; it’s the currency for most things for people his age, it’s the unspoken language of the sultry glances shared across rooms.
He didn’t even know that he didn’t have sex appeal until Blaine mentioned it. Kurt couldn’t figure out if he was more bothered by the fact that he apparently had as much sex appeal as Mumble Happyfeet, or because Blaine saw it as a problem.
--
Whistling light arpeggios that Pavarotti repeats, Kurt sits in front of his mirror, three quarters way through his moisturizing routine when he hears a familiar tri-tone chirp indicating that that he has received an incoming text message. The canary flaps his wings and copies the text message alert sound while his owner huffs, half annoyed that someone would be bothering him during what anybody who knows Kurt, a no-contact hour, fearful that they would be ranted to about how he didn’t keep such great pores by simple Dove soap. Begrudgingly, Kurt grabs his phone from the table and upon seeing the name of the messenger, he sits up a little straighter.
hi :)
Kurt furrows his brows. He hasn’t talked to Sam in any form other than infrequent Facebook wall postings since he transferred to Dalton. Curious, Kurt replies, typing out a short message.
Hello Sam. What’s wrong?
A few seconds later, Sam’s reply pops on the screen.
what somethings wrong?!?!
Snickering as he crosses one leg over the other, Kurt types a reply.
No, nothing’s wrong. I was just wondering why you messaged me when I haven’t talked to you in like, forever.
It takes a little bit longer for Sam to reply this time.
it’s just that since you transferred I haven’t got to know you like I know the other glee members. I think youre cool.
With a towel he wipes his face clean, and Kurt falls into his bed with his phone, smiling as he continues the conversation.
--
Their text messages turn into phone calls and Skype sessions that are hours long. At first, Kurt would have thought that it would be awkward to talk with Sam, but he soon finds out that isn’t so. Sam is relatable, and understands most things that Kurt talks about, and all around is generally great to talk to. Kurt talks about musicals and Sam discusses the merits of each Star Trek series, and they exchange stories about what happened at each other’s schools on that day. Conversing with Sam becomes the high point in Kurt’s day, having the blonde’s golden retriever like enthusiasm brighten his mood.
And Kurt finds himself falling for him. More than the time before, when it was a quick, fly by the day passing of maybe this boy can be my boyfriend.
But he remembers what his father said, about not going after a boy who isn’t interested, so Kurt does not repeat his actions from earlier in the year when he tried to pressure Sam into performing a duet with him. It’s working pretty well.
--
During one of their late night Skype conversations, Sam is displayed on Kurt’s laptop screen with his hair flopping into his eyes as he looks down, speaking in sharp fragments as he texts furiously on his phone.
“Santana - didn’t - don’t - stop that.”
“Ah,” Kurt says simply, smirking as he rearranges himself on his bed, lying on his stomach while placing his laptop in front of him. He rests his head on his hands, his chin digging into his palms while his fingers splay against his cheeks, framing his face. “What’s the crisis this time?”
“Complaining that Mr. Schue paired her with Brittany for this project for glee club. Well, she’s not actually complaining, she’s just kind of talking angrily about it…” Sam’s voice tails off, and he places his phone in an unseen place from the camera.
“How is Santana? And you?” Kurt asks.
Sam shrugs and fiddles with something out of camera range. “Okay I guess. She’s very, um, pushy. Touchy. Very different than being with Quinn.”
Without him saying it exactly, Kurt knew what Sam was talking about. “Is that a bad thing?”
“No! Not really. It’s not like she forced me to do something or anything…” Sam looks up at the screen, biting his lip. “You know you’re pretty much my only friend right now. I used to be close to Finn, but now it’s weird because of the whole Quinn thing.”
“Yes,” Kurt says. His step brother had confessed to him one night when Kurt had brought him soup when still stricken with Mono. Finn rambled, explaining how he felt that irresistible urge to be with Quinn, wanted to touch her everywhere, kiss her, and wanted every fiber of his body to be with hers. Kurt had thought Finn delirious with a fever.
“Can I ask you something…personal? It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Sam says hurriedly.
“Sure.”
“Have you…you know.” Sam motions with his hands. “Have you had sex?” Sam asks in a whisper.
He’s somewhat honored that Sam would discuss “guy talk” with him, something that no other guy has done without being afraid he’d gay all over it, and Kurt blushes. It seems like Blaine was right, sex is everywhere and he better get used to anyway. He’s embarrassed that he is a virgin, ashamed even, because it seems to be just as taboo to be not sexually active as it is to be into hardcore kinks.
Kurt compulsively checks around his room to make sure he’s alone, and clears his throat. “No. I haven’t.” He doesn’t look into the webcam as he says it.
Sam blinks, and takes in a deep breath. “I hadn’t either, until Santana. And well, it feels good, I guess, but - is this making you uncomfortable?”
Kurt runs a hand through his hair. Yes, his mind supplies but instead he says, “Nope.” He could deal with hearing about heterosexual things.
“Santana’s like really into it, like really, really into sex and stuff. But I feel really awkward. I just feel so out of my skin. I don’t know Kurt.”
He doesn’t know what to say, so Kurt stares at Sam with his mouth slightly parted.
“I know it’s weird. Now you know why I couldn’t talk to any of the other guys, they’d say I was gay or something because it’s San-freaking-tana. And the more I started to think about it, I don’t think I’d want to be in the same situation with, uh, any other girl.”
“So…are you telling me that you are gay?” Kurt asks.
“No.”
“Then you’re bisexual?”
“Not really.”
“Then what...?”
Sam swallows. “You’re the first person I’ve told,” he says, looking at Kurt with serious eyes, his eyebrows knitted together. “I’m…asexual.”
“Oh…?” Definitely not what Kurt was expecting to hear. From his experience in looking at LGBT websites, Kurt has seen some mentions of asexuality, but he has never put much stalk into it.
Sam grins, and lets out a chuckle of relief. “It feels so good to finally say that to somebody. I knew you’d understand.”
“Of course,” Kurt says. “I’m happy that you feel comfortable enough with me to come out.” And he really is glad.
--
That night after he and Sam end their conversation, Kurt opens up multiple tabs in Firefox searching for things on the internet related to asexuality. When he read things about it previously, he did not consider it much (even though it often crossed his mind again after the fact, more than once). He ends up staying up later than he normally does even though he knows that it will be detrimental to the dark circles under his eyes, and he reads everything he can find. Blogs, entire websites, and forums dedicated to asexuality. As he intently listens to all the video blogs he can find and reads information and personal stories from people all over the world, one thing becomes clear as the hours of night slips into early morning.
That they were talking about him.
Almost everything that Kurt reads he finds himself agreeing with. Anything and everything that he had ever thought about regarding sex that he was never to articulate into words, is all in front of him - and he’s not weird, not a stupid inexperienced virgin, or a baby penguin. There are other people like him.
Kurt shuts his laptop and crawls into bed, covering himself with his overstuffed hypoallergenic comforter. He already knows who he is, and he has fought hard for it. He had all but shouted that he was gay to everyone - his dad, his friends, the entire school. Kurt didn’t want to think about going back now and saying that he was actually attracted to nobody.
--
The next day, Kurt plans to take advantage of the Saturday, but he wakes up at his normal time anyway due to habit and his mind is too busy anyway to be quieted enough for sleep. He lies in bed fitfully for an hour before giving up and grabs his iPhone from his nightstand and sends Sam a text, asking if he wants to meet up later. Less than a minute passes before Sam replies with a chipper “sure!” complete with a smiley face.
Kurt stands outside the coffee shop, and pulls his jacket tighter around himself as he sees Sam approaching. In his mind, he’s attempting to formulate his thoughts into clear, concise ones, but everything he wants to say becomes more muddled when he finds Sam coming to a halt next to him with his signature half grin, and the words that he carefully planned on the ride through town pour out his mouth in a disjointed mess.
“Last night, when you said you were asexual?” Kurt begins, with his statement turning into a question unintentionally. Sam nods with a concerned look on his face, so Kurt continues. “It wasn’t the first time I’ve heard about it - or thought about it for that matter. I know…I know who I am. You didn’t know me before I was able to be honest with myself to everyone else.”
Kurt bites his bottom lip to keep it from trembling. He wishes that Sam would say something, to make this awkward silence go away. “The thing is though that I think I’m asexual too. I think I’ve known it for awhile but I didn’t really realize it…sex stuff is like, ugh, I don’t know. I want that intimate closeness, of being with one person.”
“That’s what I want,” Sam says, smiling.
“But, how can I even begin to explain this to other people, if I can hardly get it out to myself?” Kurt asks softly.
“It doesn’t matter,” Sam answers. “You - we, can work it out together.”
Kurt looks around, his eyes not focusing on anything specific and tries to keep his eyes from tearing up. “It’s weird, you know? It’s like everything I knew, I thought, I look at it differently now.”
“Why though? You’re still the same person.”
Kurt shrugs, and wipes the dampness away from his cheek.
“You’re not giving up your identity,” Sam says. “Your identity is who you are, not what you like and don’t like. Labels don’t define you.” This resonates with Kurt, and he throws his arms around Sam and pulls him into a close hug and burrows his face in the boy’s shoulder.
“Thank you,” Kurt whispers.
--
For once, it seems like things work out nicely. Santana breaks up with Sam to be with Brittany, which isn’t a shock to anyone. Kurt ends up transferring back to McKinley, and everyone is overjoyed that they have their countertenor and their friend back where they can see him on an everyday basis. Kurt is just glad that he can wear his expansive selection of a wardrobe to school and that can be with his boyfriend.
Kurt still gets fluttery in the chest when he thinks of Sam of his boyfriend. After chasing Blaine around for the better part for a few months, it’s great to be with someone that fully understands him and does not condone things that he feels. The switch to dating seems almost natural after the amount of talking the two has been doing the past few weeks. Apart from a few quips from Quinn saying how she couldn’t believe she was Sam’s beard for that long, and one from Lauren noting that about a quarter of the glee club was gay, everyone is supportive about Kurt and Sam’s relationship.
A week after Kurt returns to McKinley, Sam raises his hand during glee, asking Mr. Schuester if he can sing a song. Kurt raises a brow; Sam hadn’t mentioned to him that he was working on a song. Sam notices Kurt’s bewildered expression, and grins.
“This is for somebody special,” the blonde boy says as he steps in front of the piano and slips his guitar strap over his shoulder and softly strums his hand over the strings of the instrument. Kurt feels himself blushing.
Sam begins playing the beginning chords, and Kurt recognizes the song as do most of the members, and the girls sigh happily as Kurt hides his massive smile behind his hands.
“And all the roads we have to walk are winding, and all the lights that lead us there are blinding, there are many things that I’d like to say to you but I don’t know how…” Sam sings the song, pacing around a little in the area in front of the people sitting in front of him, keeping eye contact with Kurt the entire time.
“And after all, you’re my wonderwall…”
When Sam’s done and reclaims his seat next to Kurt, Puck punches Sam on the shoulder.
“I know who’s getting some tonight,” Puck says, wiggling his eyebrows.
Sam chuckles, and glances over to Kurt and they share a knowing smile.
--
Kurt runs his hands through soap suds as Sam slips into the water with him, sitting at the opposite end of the bathtub. It’s the first time that Kurt’s nude with another guy, but instead of it feeling awkward it feels right; innocent and without expectation from another, there’s just the appreciation of being together and sharing an intimate moment. Romance.
“You sure your dad and Carole and Finn won’t be back until later?” Sam asks.
Thumbing the dampness between his fingers, Kurt shakes his head. “Dad took Carole to this Leo DiCaprio movie marathon thing - my suggestion, and Finn is with Rachel. They’re working through their problems,” he says, framing the last word in air quotes with his fingers.
“Awesome.” Sam laughs.
“What?”
“You know that if Finn and Rachel didn’t have sexual things in their relationship, they wouldn’t have had any the problems they’ve had?”
Kurt thinks about it for a second, before breaking into laughter too. “We know how to enjoy the finer things,” he teases, as he flicks some water towards Sam. Sam mocks an over exaggerated gasp, and splashes water back at Kurt.
--
“This is your sexual education class, two-point-o,” Holly Holiday says as she paces the room. “What did we learn last time?”
“Cucumbers don’t give your AIDS,” Mercedes says.
“Right! Now we’re going to talk about acceptance of other orientations -”
“But Ms. Holiday, it’s not us that has a problem with people that aren’t heterosexual,” Rachel points out.
“That may be true, be we can start here and spread the love all around! Now, I have a song in mind - Gay Bar by the Electric Six,” she says, nodding to the jazz band for them to get their instruments ready while Mr. Schuester motions with his hands, obviously thinking that the song is too risqué.
“It’s cool Mr. Schue, we know how gay sex goes. I think Sam and Kurt here know very well,” Santana slyly says, smacking Puck when he remarks how she would know too.
“Actually, no,” Kurt mutters, not knowing that he spoke aloud until everyone else is looking at him.
“No?” Artie asks.
Sam shakes his head, and glances to Kurt and says, “If you want to.”
Kurt gathers some courage. “I’m asexual, actually,” he says, with Sam chiming in with revealing that he is, too.
After a few moments of silence, Finn breaks the tension. “I thought you were gay.”
“Well, I am gay. I do like guys. I’m just not sexually attracted to them, even though I still want to have a relationship with them,” Kurt explains.
It looks like it goes over Finn’s head, along with a few others. Kurt grabs Sam’s hand, “We’re happy together and have just as a functional relationship as anyone else. There’s nothing wrong with us.”
“We didn’t say there was,” Mike says.
“Yeah,” Brittany agrees. “It’s cool, you’re like best friends but better.”
Kurt doesn’t even get annoyed later when people drag him around to dance, because he’s so happy.
After practice, Sam walks next to Kurt to his car. Without saying anything, Sam takes Kurt’s hand in his and brushes against his palm with his thumb and Kurt leans against him, nuzzling his face against Sam’s cheek. Sighing happily, Kurt realizes that everything is okay, and that he isn’t lost in what he is and what he is not.
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