Comments | raygunn_revival: "Meat: The Flesh Failures"

raygunn_revival

"Meat: The Flesh Failures"

Apr 14, 2005 14:46

I liked it when he ________ my ________ while I ________ him. With the firebugs in my ribcage I projected my lung’s shadow onto his bare back. He’d lean over my prone body, the disguise of my prone body like a tundra on holiday doing backstrokes in capricornish water. Lean over just like that and the fish would evolve, as if he’d snuffed a candle ( Read more... )

Comments 21

quickly_9 April 14 2005, 12:39:06 UTC

wowzers!

raygunn_revival April 14 2005, 12:46:07 UTC

Zoinks!

Thanks!

It's a mad, mad, madlib y'all jackbabalon23 April 14 2005, 13:41:12 UTC

Even when I have to fill in the blanks i'm still left with some beautiful imagery. Tres Cool mon virtual amis!

Re: It's a mad, mad, madlib y'all raygunn_revival April 14 2005, 15:11:34 UTC

Merci beaucoup, monsieur!

Out of vain curiosity, what kinds of things did you fill in the blanks with?

Re:Tapping the vain & firing blanks jackbabalon23 April 14 2005, 22:03:00 UTC

1.slit
2.throat
3.kissed
4.slit
5.throat
6.kissed

I'm not a poet but I kinda thought it'd be cool to see a repeating pattern
and it fit seemed to fit the butcher imagery. However it does seem a little creepy typing it out.

Re: Tapping the vain & firing blanks raygunn_revival April 15 2005, 03:46:19 UTC

That's actually what I had in mind when I wrote it. Not the words themselves, of course--though I love the ones you chose--but the repeating pattern.

It's not a coincidence that the blanks occur in the same syntactic space for the "I" as for the pig.

spasmsproject April 14 2005, 13:59:01 UTC

That was disgusting. And good!!!!!

raygunn_revival April 14 2005, 15:17:36 UTC

Thanks...I think! ("Disgusting" in my book is good. Like "geeky." Yours too?)

And thanks!!!

spasmsproject April 14 2005, 18:15:49 UTC

Usually "disgusting" could go either way, in my book, but today it means "goooooooooooood."

Yay!

snizzpod April 14 2005, 16:00:28 UTC

You're so good at Disgusting!

raygunn_revival April 14 2005, 16:15:09 UTC

That's me, the Princess of Puke
The Viscountess of Vomit
The Queen of queasy

snizzpod April 14 2005, 16:19:11 UTC

The Empress of Impress
The Spook of Sputum
The Chick with The Sick!

Meat Libs drsmax April 14 2005, 16:57:43 UTC

1. write
2. dissertation
3. feltched
4. email
5. spreadsheet
6. feltched

Re: Meat Libs drsmax April 14 2005, 16:58:23 UTC

woops. #1 should be "wrote"

Re: Meat Libs raygunn_revival April 14 2005, 17:12:14 UTC

Somebody's been working too hard!