WOW. I can't believe I haven't done a single post in the month of december. I don't know what it was. I think I just got too lazy. Or maybe just didn't know how to express myself, therefore I just kept things to myself ( Read more... )

Been feeling really emo lately. Dont know what it is. My life has become routine. Spend most of the days by myself. Gives me more time to think... maybe I am just destined to be alone. What is wrong with me?

"sometimes david gets the shit beat out of him by goliath. but that story doesn't get told ( Read more... )

last night, probably had to be one of the worst nights that ive had in a very long time. woke up tuesday morning with a slight pain in my neck, but was still able to move it around and look side to side. thinking it was just  a pulled muscle, i didnt take it too seriously. i applied some muscle rub and a few heat patches hoping it would go away. by ( Read more... )

one day... just one day... things will start to go my way...

i feel restless.
i feel alone.
i feel lazy.
i feel unmotivated.
i miss my friends.
i need a job.
i WANT a job.
i wish i could tell the future, but yet still live out the present.
i miss them.
i miss SD.

take me to a place far far away where it can just be you and me, no one else.

so a few nights ago i had a weird dream. it involved maria, a girl named jazzy, and myself. jazzy was a girl i used to work with at best buy, whom i thought was pretty cute, but it turns out that she just graduated high school, which probably means she is 18, and for me thats a no-no. its not like i was interested in her or anything like that, but ( Read more... )

so i thought about telling CL that i had a crush on her and telling her how awesome i think she is and how she deserves to be with a good man, and how im sorry that it cant be me! i doubt there will be any chance that she shows any interest towards me, EVER! i dont know whats wrong with me. am i too wild? am i too serious? am i too playful? am i ( Read more... )

my mind jumps around too much. maybe im focusing too much on what isn't there and during that time, im missing out on the good things that are right in front of me.  *sigh* i really dont know whats wrong with me. one day ill think about her. the next day ill think about the other her. and all at the same time feel guilty about it. i got probs...

today was a good day. woke up with a spitting headache, popped 2 tylenol, and went to volunteer. when i got to the hospital, my head was spinning faster than when i woke up. one of the pharm techs asked if i was ok, and of course being the stubborn person i am, i insisted that i was fine. later on he asked again if i was ok and i told him i had a ( Read more... )