Cabbage Patch
Title: Cabbage Patch
Author: how_obscure (Lauren)
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to Firefly. Comments and joy are my only profit.
Rating: G
Length: 300, Drabble
Summary: Mal is scandalized by talk of anatomy.
Author’s Note: We haven’t had a fic posted here in two days, which is far too long in my opinion. ;) Just a silly bit of dialogue drabblified. I’m not 100% satisfied, but I’m posting it anyway. Kid-fic. The icon is totally how I picture Lizzie looking in the last line.
X-Posted to ff_fanfic
It was nearly dinnertime onboard Serenity. Kaylee had just gone to tell those not present that supper was ready, Jayne sat at the small corner table cleaning his knives, and Mal was busy telling stories to five year-old Elizabeth Cobb as he set the table.
“That’s not so, Captain Mal!” the little girl gasped in disbelief.
“It surly is, Miss Lizzie. I would know; I was there. I’ve known your pa since before you were even a twinkle in his eye.”
She blinked up at him confused before she seemed to suss out the meaning of the phrase. Then, never one to let others walk around ill informed, she very matter-of-factly told him, “Spermatozoa are produced in the seminiferous tubules of the testes. They are never present in the eyes.”
Mal’s eyes widened with shock. “River,” he yelled. “What have you been teachin’ this kid?”
“She wanted to know where babies came from,” River replied calmly as she stepped into the mess.
“And you chose to tell her that?!” Mal asked in disbelief. “Mine still think they came from a cabbage patch!” He turned to Jayne. “You let her tell this to your little girl?”
Jayne nodded. “Di’nt see nothin’ wrong with tellin’ her the truth. ‘Sides,” he shrugged, “she is kinda a’vanced.”
“Yeah, well…,” he paused. That was very true. “Be that as it may, you best see to it she don’t go ‘round sayin’ that sorta stuff in front of my youngins. I am all for them bein’ blissfully unaware for a good while yet.”
Apparently done with being ignored, Elizabeth spoke up again. “I’m still right here.”
He turned, pointing a finger at her for emphasis, “Cabbage patch, dong ma?”
Sounding very put-upon she sighed, “Wu dong.”
Author: how_obscure (Lauren)
Disclaimer: I don’t own the rights to Firefly. Comments and joy are my only profit.
Rating: G
Length: 300, Drabble
Summary: Mal is scandalized by talk of anatomy.
Author’s Note: We haven’t had a fic posted here in two days, which is far too long in my opinion. ;) Just a silly bit of dialogue drabblified. I’m not 100% satisfied, but I’m posting it anyway. Kid-fic. The icon is totally how I picture Lizzie looking in the last line.
X-Posted to ff_fanfic
It was nearly dinnertime onboard Serenity. Kaylee had just gone to tell those not present that supper was ready, Jayne sat at the small corner table cleaning his knives, and Mal was busy telling stories to five year-old Elizabeth Cobb as he set the table.
“That’s not so, Captain Mal!” the little girl gasped in disbelief.
“It surly is, Miss Lizzie. I would know; I was there. I’ve known your pa since before you were even a twinkle in his eye.”
She blinked up at him confused before she seemed to suss out the meaning of the phrase. Then, never one to let others walk around ill informed, she very matter-of-factly told him, “Spermatozoa are produced in the seminiferous tubules of the testes. They are never present in the eyes.”
Mal’s eyes widened with shock. “River,” he yelled. “What have you been teachin’ this kid?”
“She wanted to know where babies came from,” River replied calmly as she stepped into the mess.
“And you chose to tell her that?!” Mal asked in disbelief. “Mine still think they came from a cabbage patch!” He turned to Jayne. “You let her tell this to your little girl?”
Jayne nodded. “Di’nt see nothin’ wrong with tellin’ her the truth. ‘Sides,” he shrugged, “she is kinda a’vanced.”
“Yeah, well…,” he paused. That was very true. “Be that as it may, you best see to it she don’t go ‘round sayin’ that sorta stuff in front of my youngins. I am all for them bein’ blissfully unaware for a good while yet.”
Apparently done with being ignored, Elizabeth spoke up again. “I’m still right here.”
He turned, pointing a finger at her for emphasis, “Cabbage patch, dong ma?”
Sounding very put-upon she sighed, “Wu dong.”