Haven Fic: Time (Has Numbered My Days) - Chapter 08/?? [Claire & Audrey, Jordan + Claire]
Author: siricerasi
Fandom: Haven
Characters/pairings: Nathan/Audrey, Claire Callahan, Duke Crocker, Jordan McKee
Rating: M
Warnings: Violence, mention of past rape and assault
Spoilers: Through 3.06 (Real Estate)
Story Summary: It’s all so fucked up, so far from where they’d started, so far from where they should be. And she’d take all of it back, she’d forgive everything, if he could just be here right now.
Chapter: 8/?
Word count: 2205
Chapter Summary: The shadow moves into the light, smiling. That predatory smile that shakes Claire down to her core, and in a town like Haven not much scares her at all. Jordan terrifies her.
Author's Notes: Written for my hc-bingo prompt "disappearing".
Um, this got dark? I don't even know. I made up lots of backstory here, and apparently I'm incapable of writing anything non-angsty. And I read into lines and expressions way too much. Yay!
Song for this chapter is " Ghosts That We Knew".
you saw my pain, washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you kneel beside my hope torn apart
Claire had left the station under threat of painful consequences from Audrey if she mentioned Nathan’s name again, and Claire had decided to just give it up for the moment. Maybe Nathan was just off on a call. Maybe.
She knows she shouldn’t judge the man, but the way he’d so blatantly ignored what she’d told him about Jordan still sits heavy in her stomach, part anger and part worry at how he can just not care. She knows his condition must make him feel isolated, detached from the world; she just hadn’t realized quite how much Audrey had drawn him out of that shell. Not just with touch, with friendship. At this point Claire just wants to get them as partners again, knows they both need their friendship a lot more than either of them will admit. She wishes she could do a couples session with them, almost laughs at herself for even thinking it. Getting just Audrey to talk to her was hard enough.
She’s a little surprised when Audrey calls, then realizes the cop needs someone to bounce ideas off of. Audrey does all her brainstorming out loud (she talks and questions almost nonstop, about everything but herself, and it’s enough to drive Claire crazy). They’re looking at the records of Cogan’s parents when Claire hears the door creak and freezes; she’d definitely locked that. Five or six times, actually.
A shadow enters, all black but for bits of skin here and there, and she hears Audrey say her name a few times through the speaker, then ask if she’s okay, then yell her name, but Claire can’t respond.
“Jordan,” she chokes. The shadow moves into the light, smiling. That predatory smile that shakes Claire down to her core, and in a town like Haven not much scares her at all.
Jordan terrifies her.
“Drop the phone,” the shadow orders. Claire does, prays it doesn’t turn off. That Audrey will come, preferably with an entire squad of policeman. Maybe a SWAT team or two.
Claire stands, slowly, hands raised, and pulls out her calmest tone. “Jordan,” she states again. Her voice squeaks a little. “Why are you here?” Jordan smiles, pulling off her gloves finger by finger. Stalks her like prey.
“You told them,” she murmurs, low and dangerous. “Nathan and Parker, in that goddamn house. You told them.”
Cold dread worms through her stomach. “We were all scared and on edge,” she explains, as soothingly as she can. “Holloway was manipulating us, Jordan. Nothing that happened in there has to leave that house.”
“Except it did.” Panic. Claire forces it down, refuses to let Jordan see fear in her eyes, takes deep, steady breaths. Jordan continues, “Nathan asked me about it, doc. Asked what happened, if you were telling the truth, y’know. Police questions.”
“Nathan didn’t-”
Jordan lunges so fast Claire hardly has time to move back, slamming into the wall. “Nathan is the chief of police,” the woman hisses. Her face is inches from Claire’s, that deadly skin so fucking close that Claire can’t breathe, can’t think.
“H-he didn’t believe me,” Claire whispers. “He said I didn’t know you...” Jordan inches forward and Claire squeezes her eyes shut, a tiny whimper escaping her throat. So much for no fear.
Jordan laughs softly, deep in her throat, and backs off. “So scared of me, doc,” she drawls. Claire opens her eyes to see the other woman shaking her head, dark hair swishing softly as she smiles again. “You know how much I hate this.” Jordan holds up her bare hands, gesturing at nothing. “You know I don’t enjoy causing people pain.” Do I, though? “So why are you so scared of me?”
“Are you serious?” The words slip out before Claire can stop them, anger burning off some of the fear. “You do remember our last session, Jordan, right?” Jordan just watches her, head cocked. Well, Claire certainly isn’t going to remind her. “Why are you here?” she asks instead, cold and steady. In control.
Jordan touches her fingertips together, takes a step forward. Her eyes are tinted the same red they had been the last time, a glow Claire had always thought she’d imagined. She flinches unconsciously. “I want you to tell Nathan you lied,” Jordan says softly. “I want you to tell him it was the house, it made you lie to try to split us up.”
“No.” Goddammit. Why can’t she control her damn mouth? Jordan takes a step closer. “I’m not lying for you again, Jordan.” Another step, and Claire’s throat is so tight she can hardly gasp in any air.
And then Jordan’s right in front of her, brushes her wrist and Claire’s brain explodes, her legs turn to jelly and she’s a collapsed heap on the floor. “Do I really need to convince you again?” Jordan purrs above her. Claire hears her own voice beg, “Please…”, can’t believe the word came from her own mouth.
Jordan grabs her hair, jerks her head back. “Everything I did to that bastard, he deserved,” Jordan snarls, every slight brush of her fingers against Claire’s scalp screaming pain. “He fucking raped me, and he was going to get away with it, just walk away.” Claire is sobbing now, thinks Jordan might be as well as she grips the back of Claire’s neck. “He deserved-”
The door caves in then, a loud crack accompanied by running feet and Claire has never loved the sound more in her life. She hears a gun cock as Jordan whirls, jerking Claire around with her and the world is white, the pain too much.
Audrey’s voice is a beacon. “LET HER GO,” the cop shouts, and Claire thinks she hears Nathan echo the words but can’t think clearly over the screaming in her head. “Jordan, you have five seconds or I will shoot you.”
And the pain stops, it’s sudden absence almost as excruciating as she slumps to the ground. She hears running footsteps, then someone kneeling beside her. She instinctively (pitifully) jerks away, then hears Audrey’s voice. “Hey, easy, Claire, it’s me. It’s Audrey.” Strange noises fill her ears, strangled sobbing gasps that she realizes are coming from her mouth. Audrey carefully, gently, takes her shoulders while Claire tries not to flinch, because it’s Audrey and she wouldn’t hurt her, Audrey would never hurt her, but jeezus fuck it hurts.
“Shh,” she hears the cop whisper, pulling her upright slowly. “Shh, Claire, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Audrey’s arm is strong around her, supporting her pathetically limp muscles, holding her protectively as Claire looks around frantically for Jordan. She needs to get out, get away.
She manages to gasp, “Where…” Audrey’s hand tightens on her arm, and Claire’s eyes finally focus.
On Nathan, his arms around a sobbing Jordan.
It’s too much.
Somehow she pulls herself to her feet, using her chair as leverage. She hears Audrey talking to her but can’t understand a thing she’s saying, just knows she needs to get out.
She makes it one step before collapsing, Audrey’s arm around her waist the only thing keeping her upright. “Need out,” she chokes out. Audrey nods tightly, guides her slowly toward the door. Claire regains more control with each passing moment, and by the time they’re outside she manages to pull away on her own to collapse in the grass, retching.
Hands pull her hair back, run along her back, and the only thing she can notice is that they don’t cause pain so she really doesn’t give a fuck. Her brain tells her to be glad they went out the back door, because somehow the town seeing their therapist having a breakdown on the front lawn doesn’t seem like the best idea.
Her body calms, eventually, and then she’s just gasping, shaking, trying desperately to regain control. Audrey pulls her upright again, wipes her mouth gently before wrapping both arms around her. And that protective hold is enough to break Claire down all over again, to bring the memory of pain flooding back through her so savagely it’s all she can do to stay conscious, bury her face in Audrey’s shoulder and try to just breathe.
“Breathe,” she hears Audrey echo, her fingers tangled in Claire’s hair. “Just breathe, Claire, it’s over. Shh, it’s over, you’re safe. She’ll never touch you again.” Audrey continues talking to her, voice soothing and gentle and the only thing keeping her remotely sane. Claire’s fingers claw at Audrey’s jacket, needing something to ground on, and Audrey’s soft “breath” is the only thing keeping Claire from tearing at her own skin.
Minutes pass, or hours, or days. Claire doesn’t know if she’d even have noticed darkness. Eventually the spasms of residual pain receded, then the phantom tremors that she could swear were real, swears she can feel Jordan’s fingers on her although Audrey tells her again and again and again that they’re alone, she’s safe. Safe.
The sun is significantly lower when Claire finally raises her head, shivering in the cold. She reaches up to wipe angrily at her eyes, brushing off tears and probably makeup, and she might be embarrassed if she wasn’t so terrified.
“It’s okay,” Audrey says, softly, reading her mind. “How you feeling?”
Claire brushes at her face again, everything aching. “Fantastic,” she chokes. Her throat hurts, probably from the screaming she doesn’t really remember. “Fuck.”
Audrey smiles, or her lips move into a vague resemblance of one. But her eyes are dark, angry, dangerous. Claire shivers again, starting to grasp the magnitude of the situation she’d stumbled into with the woman. She wonders absently if Audrey keeps the emotions of past lives as well, if her own feelings are augmented by those of Lucy and Sarah and all the rest. If the combined suite of emotions intensifies with every memory she unleashes.
Claire understands, now, the way people treat her. The way she treats herself, even if she’s not aware of it. Why the Crockers want to kill her, why the Rev had hated her. They don’t see her as a person, they see her as a tool, a vessel with one purpose. A weapon.
It makes Claire horribly sad, whatever part of her can spare emotion from utter terror.
And then it’s all fear again.
“Hey.” Audrey grips her shoulder reassuringly. “She’s gone, okay?”
Claire nods slightly, trying to breathe evenly, trying to convince herself it’s true. But her face must read all of her anxiety (and really it shouldn’t, she’s a fucking therapist), because Audrey wraps a protective arm around her shoulders again, pulling Claire’s head to her shoulder. And Claire gives in, because she still can’t breathe and Audrey is the only one who has ever made Jordan seem any less threatening.
People like you and me, we need therapy. We take on everybody else’s crazy, pretty soon we have no room left for our own… Claire is pretty sure she’s filled her quota at this point. And even when she’s falling apart herself, Audrey takes care of those around her. It’s why she’s so incredible, why Claire was so drawn to her.
“We need to get you to a doctor,” Audrey murmurs after awhile, absently running her fingers along Claire’s back.
“I am a doctor, remember?” The words fall heavy, even to her ears. “I’ll be fine, Audrey. It was…” painpainpainPAINPROMISEipromiseipromise
“Claire!” She blinks, and Audrey’s hands are cupping her face, eyes boring into hers. “Claire, look at me. Talk to me.”
Claire swallows. “Sorry,” she mutters. “It was… longer, last time, okay? And I was fine, I just… I just need to sleep and I’ll be fine.”
Audrey sighs. “I guess I don’t really have any right to argue with that logic,” she concedes wryly. Claire raises an eyebrow in agreement. “Okay, think you can get up? I’ll take you home.”
There goes the fear again, so many thoughts and possibilities and stop. Breathe. In. Out. Again. Again.
When she opens her eyes again Audrey is watching her with concern. “I’m not leaving you alone,” the cop murmurs. “Relax.”
Wow. When had Audrey become the therapist? When had Claire reverted to the scared kid Jordan had damaged so badly?
“It’s fine,” she grits. “You have work to do, you need to find James and I’m sure do a thousand other important police things and deal with…” Her voice dies for a moment. “You’re on a schedule, as you keep reminding me.” It’s petty, but she can’t let Audrey do this for her. She needs to regroup, remember how far she’s come from that scared girl Jordan had traumatized, all those years ago. She’d been so young, so eager, so ready to help everyone. Jordan had been a challenge, a puzzle to figure out - and one she’d failed.
It still bothers her, coils in her stomach some sleepless nights. She doesn’t even know anymore if it upsets her more that she couldn’t help the woman or that she’d misjudged Jordan so badly, that she hadn’t seen what a threat Jordan could be. It had nearly ruined Claire, and that’s what she clings to now; she’d picked herself up then, and she will again.
Audrey sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose.
“I have an idea.”
so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
cause oh, that gave me such a fright
but i will hold on with all my might
just promise me that we'll be alright
ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
and we'll live a long life
Fandom: Haven
Characters/pairings: Nathan/Audrey, Claire Callahan, Duke Crocker, Jordan McKee
Rating: M
Warnings: Violence, mention of past rape and assault
Spoilers: Through 3.06 (Real Estate)
Story Summary: It’s all so fucked up, so far from where they’d started, so far from where they should be. And she’d take all of it back, she’d forgive everything, if he could just be here right now.
Chapter: 8/?
Word count: 2205
Chapter Summary: The shadow moves into the light, smiling. That predatory smile that shakes Claire down to her core, and in a town like Haven not much scares her at all. Jordan terrifies her.
Author's Notes: Written for my hc-bingo prompt "disappearing".
Um, this got dark? I don't even know. I made up lots of backstory here, and apparently I'm incapable of writing anything non-angsty. And I read into lines and expressions way too much. Yay!
Song for this chapter is " Ghosts That We Knew".
you saw my pain, washed out in the rain
broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins
but you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart
and you kneel beside my hope torn apart
Claire had left the station under threat of painful consequences from Audrey if she mentioned Nathan’s name again, and Claire had decided to just give it up for the moment. Maybe Nathan was just off on a call. Maybe.
She knows she shouldn’t judge the man, but the way he’d so blatantly ignored what she’d told him about Jordan still sits heavy in her stomach, part anger and part worry at how he can just not care. She knows his condition must make him feel isolated, detached from the world; she just hadn’t realized quite how much Audrey had drawn him out of that shell. Not just with touch, with friendship. At this point Claire just wants to get them as partners again, knows they both need their friendship a lot more than either of them will admit. She wishes she could do a couples session with them, almost laughs at herself for even thinking it. Getting just Audrey to talk to her was hard enough.
She’s a little surprised when Audrey calls, then realizes the cop needs someone to bounce ideas off of. Audrey does all her brainstorming out loud (she talks and questions almost nonstop, about everything but herself, and it’s enough to drive Claire crazy). They’re looking at the records of Cogan’s parents when Claire hears the door creak and freezes; she’d definitely locked that. Five or six times, actually.
A shadow enters, all black but for bits of skin here and there, and she hears Audrey say her name a few times through the speaker, then ask if she’s okay, then yell her name, but Claire can’t respond.
“Jordan,” she chokes. The shadow moves into the light, smiling. That predatory smile that shakes Claire down to her core, and in a town like Haven not much scares her at all.
Jordan terrifies her.
“Drop the phone,” the shadow orders. Claire does, prays it doesn’t turn off. That Audrey will come, preferably with an entire squad of policeman. Maybe a SWAT team or two.
Claire stands, slowly, hands raised, and pulls out her calmest tone. “Jordan,” she states again. Her voice squeaks a little. “Why are you here?” Jordan smiles, pulling off her gloves finger by finger. Stalks her like prey.
“You told them,” she murmurs, low and dangerous. “Nathan and Parker, in that goddamn house. You told them.”
Cold dread worms through her stomach. “We were all scared and on edge,” she explains, as soothingly as she can. “Holloway was manipulating us, Jordan. Nothing that happened in there has to leave that house.”
“Except it did.” Panic. Claire forces it down, refuses to let Jordan see fear in her eyes, takes deep, steady breaths. Jordan continues, “Nathan asked me about it, doc. Asked what happened, if you were telling the truth, y’know. Police questions.”
“Nathan didn’t-”
Jordan lunges so fast Claire hardly has time to move back, slamming into the wall. “Nathan is the chief of police,” the woman hisses. Her face is inches from Claire’s, that deadly skin so fucking close that Claire can’t breathe, can’t think.
“H-he didn’t believe me,” Claire whispers. “He said I didn’t know you...” Jordan inches forward and Claire squeezes her eyes shut, a tiny whimper escaping her throat. So much for no fear.
Jordan laughs softly, deep in her throat, and backs off. “So scared of me, doc,” she drawls. Claire opens her eyes to see the other woman shaking her head, dark hair swishing softly as she smiles again. “You know how much I hate this.” Jordan holds up her bare hands, gesturing at nothing. “You know I don’t enjoy causing people pain.” Do I, though? “So why are you so scared of me?”
“Are you serious?” The words slip out before Claire can stop them, anger burning off some of the fear. “You do remember our last session, Jordan, right?” Jordan just watches her, head cocked. Well, Claire certainly isn’t going to remind her. “Why are you here?” she asks instead, cold and steady. In control.
Jordan touches her fingertips together, takes a step forward. Her eyes are tinted the same red they had been the last time, a glow Claire had always thought she’d imagined. She flinches unconsciously. “I want you to tell Nathan you lied,” Jordan says softly. “I want you to tell him it was the house, it made you lie to try to split us up.”
“No.” Goddammit. Why can’t she control her damn mouth? Jordan takes a step closer. “I’m not lying for you again, Jordan.” Another step, and Claire’s throat is so tight she can hardly gasp in any air.
And then Jordan’s right in front of her, brushes her wrist and Claire’s brain explodes, her legs turn to jelly and she’s a collapsed heap on the floor. “Do I really need to convince you again?” Jordan purrs above her. Claire hears her own voice beg, “Please…”, can’t believe the word came from her own mouth.
Jordan grabs her hair, jerks her head back. “Everything I did to that bastard, he deserved,” Jordan snarls, every slight brush of her fingers against Claire’s scalp screaming pain. “He fucking raped me, and he was going to get away with it, just walk away.” Claire is sobbing now, thinks Jordan might be as well as she grips the back of Claire’s neck. “He deserved-”
The door caves in then, a loud crack accompanied by running feet and Claire has never loved the sound more in her life. She hears a gun cock as Jordan whirls, jerking Claire around with her and the world is white, the pain too much.
Audrey’s voice is a beacon. “LET HER GO,” the cop shouts, and Claire thinks she hears Nathan echo the words but can’t think clearly over the screaming in her head. “Jordan, you have five seconds or I will shoot you.”
And the pain stops, it’s sudden absence almost as excruciating as she slumps to the ground. She hears running footsteps, then someone kneeling beside her. She instinctively (pitifully) jerks away, then hears Audrey’s voice. “Hey, easy, Claire, it’s me. It’s Audrey.” Strange noises fill her ears, strangled sobbing gasps that she realizes are coming from her mouth. Audrey carefully, gently, takes her shoulders while Claire tries not to flinch, because it’s Audrey and she wouldn’t hurt her, Audrey would never hurt her, but jeezus fuck it hurts.
“Shh,” she hears the cop whisper, pulling her upright slowly. “Shh, Claire, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Audrey’s arm is strong around her, supporting her pathetically limp muscles, holding her protectively as Claire looks around frantically for Jordan. She needs to get out, get away.
She manages to gasp, “Where…” Audrey’s hand tightens on her arm, and Claire’s eyes finally focus.
On Nathan, his arms around a sobbing Jordan.
It’s too much.
Somehow she pulls herself to her feet, using her chair as leverage. She hears Audrey talking to her but can’t understand a thing she’s saying, just knows she needs to get out.
She makes it one step before collapsing, Audrey’s arm around her waist the only thing keeping her upright. “Need out,” she chokes out. Audrey nods tightly, guides her slowly toward the door. Claire regains more control with each passing moment, and by the time they’re outside she manages to pull away on her own to collapse in the grass, retching.
Hands pull her hair back, run along her back, and the only thing she can notice is that they don’t cause pain so she really doesn’t give a fuck. Her brain tells her to be glad they went out the back door, because somehow the town seeing their therapist having a breakdown on the front lawn doesn’t seem like the best idea.
Her body calms, eventually, and then she’s just gasping, shaking, trying desperately to regain control. Audrey pulls her upright again, wipes her mouth gently before wrapping both arms around her. And that protective hold is enough to break Claire down all over again, to bring the memory of pain flooding back through her so savagely it’s all she can do to stay conscious, bury her face in Audrey’s shoulder and try to just breathe.
“Breathe,” she hears Audrey echo, her fingers tangled in Claire’s hair. “Just breathe, Claire, it’s over. Shh, it’s over, you’re safe. She’ll never touch you again.” Audrey continues talking to her, voice soothing and gentle and the only thing keeping her remotely sane. Claire’s fingers claw at Audrey’s jacket, needing something to ground on, and Audrey’s soft “breath” is the only thing keeping Claire from tearing at her own skin.
Minutes pass, or hours, or days. Claire doesn’t know if she’d even have noticed darkness. Eventually the spasms of residual pain receded, then the phantom tremors that she could swear were real, swears she can feel Jordan’s fingers on her although Audrey tells her again and again and again that they’re alone, she’s safe. Safe.
The sun is significantly lower when Claire finally raises her head, shivering in the cold. She reaches up to wipe angrily at her eyes, brushing off tears and probably makeup, and she might be embarrassed if she wasn’t so terrified.
“It’s okay,” Audrey says, softly, reading her mind. “How you feeling?”
Claire brushes at her face again, everything aching. “Fantastic,” she chokes. Her throat hurts, probably from the screaming she doesn’t really remember. “Fuck.”
Audrey smiles, or her lips move into a vague resemblance of one. But her eyes are dark, angry, dangerous. Claire shivers again, starting to grasp the magnitude of the situation she’d stumbled into with the woman. She wonders absently if Audrey keeps the emotions of past lives as well, if her own feelings are augmented by those of Lucy and Sarah and all the rest. If the combined suite of emotions intensifies with every memory she unleashes.
Claire understands, now, the way people treat her. The way she treats herself, even if she’s not aware of it. Why the Crockers want to kill her, why the Rev had hated her. They don’t see her as a person, they see her as a tool, a vessel with one purpose. A weapon.
It makes Claire horribly sad, whatever part of her can spare emotion from utter terror.
And then it’s all fear again.
“Hey.” Audrey grips her shoulder reassuringly. “She’s gone, okay?”
Claire nods slightly, trying to breathe evenly, trying to convince herself it’s true. But her face must read all of her anxiety (and really it shouldn’t, she’s a fucking therapist), because Audrey wraps a protective arm around her shoulders again, pulling Claire’s head to her shoulder. And Claire gives in, because she still can’t breathe and Audrey is the only one who has ever made Jordan seem any less threatening.
People like you and me, we need therapy. We take on everybody else’s crazy, pretty soon we have no room left for our own… Claire is pretty sure she’s filled her quota at this point. And even when she’s falling apart herself, Audrey takes care of those around her. It’s why she’s so incredible, why Claire was so drawn to her.
“We need to get you to a doctor,” Audrey murmurs after awhile, absently running her fingers along Claire’s back.
“I am a doctor, remember?” The words fall heavy, even to her ears. “I’ll be fine, Audrey. It was…” painpainpainPAINPROMISEipromiseipromise
“Claire!” She blinks, and Audrey’s hands are cupping her face, eyes boring into hers. “Claire, look at me. Talk to me.”
Claire swallows. “Sorry,” she mutters. “It was… longer, last time, okay? And I was fine, I just… I just need to sleep and I’ll be fine.”
Audrey sighs. “I guess I don’t really have any right to argue with that logic,” she concedes wryly. Claire raises an eyebrow in agreement. “Okay, think you can get up? I’ll take you home.”
There goes the fear again, so many thoughts and possibilities and stop. Breathe. In. Out. Again. Again.
When she opens her eyes again Audrey is watching her with concern. “I’m not leaving you alone,” the cop murmurs. “Relax.”
Wow. When had Audrey become the therapist? When had Claire reverted to the scared kid Jordan had damaged so badly?
“It’s fine,” she grits. “You have work to do, you need to find James and I’m sure do a thousand other important police things and deal with…” Her voice dies for a moment. “You’re on a schedule, as you keep reminding me.” It’s petty, but she can’t let Audrey do this for her. She needs to regroup, remember how far she’s come from that scared girl Jordan had traumatized, all those years ago. She’d been so young, so eager, so ready to help everyone. Jordan had been a challenge, a puzzle to figure out - and one she’d failed.
It still bothers her, coils in her stomach some sleepless nights. She doesn’t even know anymore if it upsets her more that she couldn’t help the woman or that she’d misjudged Jordan so badly, that she hadn’t seen what a threat Jordan could be. It had nearly ruined Claire, and that’s what she clings to now; she’d picked herself up then, and she will again.
Audrey sighs, pinches the bridge of her nose.
“I have an idea.”
so give me hope in the darkness that i will see the light
cause oh, that gave me such a fright
but i will hold on with all my might
just promise me that we'll be alright
ghosts that we knew will flicker from view
and we'll live a long life