Do you know HOW hard it is to fake everything is alright!! And smiling when you are actually having extreme pain and depression inside, and trying not to cut because you promised someone you were going to get over this!! holy fucking cow!!! I can't believe this. This is a reason why I DON'T make promises ( Read more... )

so fast is going well!! whoop whoop
let's just see if i can make it through softball practice without food grr

lalal i have nothing to say
i love the feeling of being empty! it actually makes me happy!!
when i eat i get like bloated and feel enourmous and go into my depressive state! grr
okay well bye all!

love ya

Okay, so I went to go cut, I had it all ready I had my razorblade in my hand and my pant leg up, and something inside me made me NOT cut ( Read more... )

Starting tomorrow, I'm going to see how long I can fast for. I'm so sick of food. I just freaking ate an orange and i feel so enourmous! I want to go purge but my damn brother is in the bathroom taking a shower grrrrr!!!! People say I have both of the ED's because of something or somethings deeper inside. Infact they are correct but I'm not going ( Read more... )

I didn't think that living would be this hard.

I want to fucking go to sleep and never wake up!!!!!!
I fucking hate my life
Later.

I'm extremly bored and what not so I'm updating..
I had softball practice from 8-10am! I was going crazy. I got so dizzy I almost past out it was crazy! Then I went to the movies with my sister in law and saw Miss Congeneality 2 it was pretty good she's like do you want anything to eat i said "no thanks" and we both shared a diet coke.
Then she ( Read more... )

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I was thinking, I sometimes cut just because I'm bored and I have nothing else better to do. But that is not ALWAYS the case ( Read more... )

I threw away my pizza because I didn't want to eat it.
I hate living like this but this mental disease is killing me. I hate having Ana and sometimes even Mia. BAHHHH!!!!!
I'm cold, tired, and veryy frusterated.
Bye people.

Why the hell am I feeling so guilty right now ( Read more... )