Drinking Games and Comparative Notes ... On the Guy Who Killed Us. (fic)
Title: Drinking Games and Comparative Notes ... On the Guy Who Killed Us
Fandom: Heroes (IKR)
Rating: R Language
Word Count: 1370
Characters/Pairings: Candice, Eden, Elle & Maya ...
Disclaimer: Don’t own.
Spoilers/Time Line: Vol.3 I guess
Summery: Title says it all, really.
Author’s Notes: Crack. unbeta'd
PROMPT TABLES Un_love_you Prompt # 19 "This isn't about you at all." 100heroesfics Prompt # 49. "Club"
It was Eden's turn.
"Never have I ever made out with Sylar."
Elle took the shot. Maya crossed herself then followed suit.
"I hope this whole game's not going to be about that pendajo." Maya grimaced as she swallowed
"Okay my turn!" Candice said, raising her hand. "Never have I ever ... done questionable things to him while he slept."
All but Elle took a drink. They all look at her.
"What? Didn't get the chance. He never sleep in front of me ... not really and there was always someone watching."
"That's the best part!"
"So what'd you guys do?" Elle continued ignoring Candice's interruption.
"I gave him a funny hair cut." Said Eden.
" ... I would say things to him in Spanish. Dirty things ..."
Candice was practically bouncing in excitement. "I touched him under the covers ..."
Maya, Elle & Eden all gave her a "What the fuck, bitch!" look
"Oh My God! Someone say something quick before I think too much about that." Flapped her hands in abhorrence.
Elle smiled and then covered her mouth. "Ew Candice, you molested him!?"
"What? He totally dug it."
Maya covered her gaping mouth.
"You're a fucking idiot." Eden said
"Maybe that's why he killed you ..." Elle shook her head.
"No he killed me because because he's a fucking loony toon."
"Point so taken and I'll drink to that." Maya upended the bottle into her mouth.
"What are you drinking for?" Candice asked
"To wash my brain." Maya grimaced again
"Haven't you had enough of that?" Candice sputtered. Eden frowned. Elle rolled her eyes.
"Because I want to." Maya said throwing back another shot.
"Yeah, but you're not playing the game right." replied Candice
"If the point of the game is to get drunk, then I am playing it right."
"I think you're the only one of us who didn't get her head fuck with ... oh wait ... I mean literally."
"Bad taste, Candice, but hilariously so ... I mean we can laugh about it cause, ya know, it's true." We all got fucked ... with. Well, for me it was more literal."
"Was he any good?" Candice grinned.
"Meh ..."
"Well, I got a date ...." Maya added
"Aww! Is that all you got?" replied Candice.
Maya frowned. "No! I got crackers and wine!"
"HOLY SHIT! NO WAY! YOU GOT A WINE BOTTLE TOO!"
"What do you mean 'you got wine too'?"
"Oh My god! That asshole!" Elle fell backwards laughing.
"What?" Maya was lost.
"Oh that's so embarrassing! He used the same moves on both of you?!" Eden hid the smile behind her hand.
"Well, I guess if it ain't broke ..." Candice wiggled her eyebrows
"What? I thought it was romantic."
"You would!" Cried Elle as she rolled with laughter among the pillows on the floor.
"I didn't get wine. He just smashed me in the head with a tea cup."
"Oh honey, I'm sure if he had the wine bottle he would have tired it instead." Maya said with a hiccup, then frowned. "Wait?" Eden and Elle burst in new laughter.
"Tried it? He didn't have to try it. Maybe that's why he went for the cup. You took the thrill away." Elle said between fits.
"Still a tea cup though?" Candice said pitifully.
"He shot me." Maya offered.
"With a tea cup?" Candice wouldn't let it go.
"I shot myself." Eden said.
"I ... gave up the will to live after disappointing him so ..." Elle said with a smile that broke into something else. "Actually I'll confess it. He lectured me to death. That's how I died."
"Dude! That's totally why I shot myself. He just talks too damn much!"
"I didn't really mind it....? Okay, It was a little weird how he would go on and on about how special --"
"SPECIAL, YES! My powers, my ability, my mommy ...!" Elle knocked over the bowl of popcorn
"If I had a quarter ..." Eden shook her head.
"To be fair, I did most of the head fucking ... but not literally. And to him ...shut up!" Elle upended her hand sticking her thumb in her fist then waved her fingers back and forth like she was fanning a fire. "Shut the fuck up! I'm not drunk."
"Wait, didn't you used to be a hooker?" Candice asked.
" ... ou think with a power like mine, that I'd be blowing random dudes in a parking lot?" Eden was completely baffled by Candice sometimes.
"If the shoe fits." she said with a shrug.
"What the f..." Maya patted Eden on the shoulder in a muddled fashion. "That might be how you get down, Candice, because you're a pervert and all but ... NO. Really?! Yeah I took them to the parking lot. And then I made them give me the keys to the car ... their wallets and what ever other valuables they might have had on them. And if they had a partner I made them go home and confess that they had various contaminants of VD."
"Good" Maya nodded taking another shot.
A 'whore' and a nun play a drinking game ... sounded like the beginning of a lame joke, Eden thought.
"Man, you better teach your friend how to play the game ..." Candice said as she moved the bottle out of Maya' reach.
"I know how to play it!" Maya swayed and hiccuped.
*
"So then I brought over pie and he said it was his favorite!"
"Why does that sound so familiar? Oh I know! It's because that's so totally my stolen memory!"
"What are you going on about now?" Elle pushed herself up on her elbows and stared accusingly at Eden.
"I was the one bringing over pie and casserole! Mac & cheese ... that was all me, babe! They never even let you out of the building, remember?"
"No, I had missions! And you did that shit with Chandra, not Sylar!"
"Yeah I did! I made the meal and then guess who would manage to wonder his skinny ass over whenever I was there with the food?" Eden gave her a significant look.
Elle sat up at that. "That's a lie! Daddy sent me on plenty of missions."
"Ooooh watching Claire at school, and you still managed to --"
"Okay, okay that's enough from the both of you. You're bringing the room down." Candice gave a sidelong glance in Maya's direction. The woman looked positively morose with her fingers wrapped snugly around the neck of a liquor bottle. Candice eyed the bottle sadly
"Is she crying again?" Elle rolled her eyes.
"It's okay, Maya. We'll try not to argue anymore tonight." Eden cooed and she thought -just for a second- about using her powers.
"It's not that it's -- you cooked for him and he said it was his favorite? That's what he said about my cooking! That crooked, lying bastard!"
"And you are cut off!" Candice said as she snatched away the bottle.
*
"Ay Dios Mio ..."
"Sleeping beauty's finally awake. Is everyone alive?"
"Ask me when I find my head. I can't believe I drank that much."
"I tried to shop you."
"Please ... not so loud."
Candice sniffed the air and twisted her mouth at the smelled of breakfast. She did some quick mental math. "Where's Eden?"
"Still passed out, lucky bitch. She never gets hang overs no matter how much she drinks." Elle grumbled from underneath a pile of pillows.
"Okay then who's cooking?' Candice looked at Maya.
"Ha ha." She said with a groan as she shook her head ... and then immediately regretted it.
"Good morning girls!" Virginia said as she wiped her hand on her apron. "I just thought I'd just stop by to make some breakfast ... well, I guess now it would be brunch if your that kinda person. But anyway, what would you girls like? I could make bacon & eggs, or some sausages with oatmeal. Did you want water or milk in it?"
Maya brought her hand to her mouth than made a stumbling dash for the bathroom.
"Oh dear, I could make something else if you like. Was it something I said?"
Candice leaned back against a chair and smiled.