I'm Sorry
I probably wont be on for the next couple of days since i have to pack my stuff and move in to my apartment.
I was originally going to start packing tomorrow but something came up and I have to go to Riverside again tomorrow. Apparently I had a deadline for this paper they gave me and if I don't turn it in tomorrow, the deposit I put on the apartment will be refunded and I'll lose my apartment. And then when I told my dad about this, he got angry and yelled at me. Kept talking about how I don't ask enough questions and how its my fault and that he couldn't give me a ride.
It wasn't my fault. At least not entirely. Yes I should've filed out the paper and turned it in the day I got it, but they never told me they wanted it a certain time. If I knew they were going to ask me for it, I would've done it already. But they didn't. And I hate that no matter what I do, my parents always find some way to blame me for everything that happens to me.
I hate it when people yell at me. I really do. It always makes me horrible and I end up crying for the rest of the day because of how horrible I feel. Because no matter how angry/disapointed other people are at me, I always hate myself more than they ever could.
I'm sorry dad.
I'm sorry I'm such a disapointment.
I'm sorry that I'm a failure.
I'm sorry that no matter what I do, I can never do anything right. I always mess things up.
I'm sorry I can't make you happy.
My dad is giving me the ride, mostly after some convincing by my mom. But I was more than willing to take the train since it seemed like my dad was not going to give me the ride. I was even going to spend money on a hotel in case I couldn't make it back home.
I was originally going to go back to school on wednesday morning but I think I might stay after I move my stuff in.
My dad hates me. I know he does. Part of me wished I could have taken the train there so I wouldn't have to endure a long car ride with him.
So I might stay so that I don't have to burden my dad/give him him any other reason to hate me.
I'm sorry. I just had to vent. I feel a bit better.
but if it turns out I do move in on Sunday, I probably wont be on since my apartment doesn't have internet access yet. I have to call in order to get it installed and I don;t know how long that will take.
there's a computer lab though, so I might just hang in there if I need to.
I was originally going to start packing tomorrow but something came up and I have to go to Riverside again tomorrow. Apparently I had a deadline for this paper they gave me and if I don't turn it in tomorrow, the deposit I put on the apartment will be refunded and I'll lose my apartment. And then when I told my dad about this, he got angry and yelled at me. Kept talking about how I don't ask enough questions and how its my fault and that he couldn't give me a ride.
It wasn't my fault. At least not entirely. Yes I should've filed out the paper and turned it in the day I got it, but they never told me they wanted it a certain time. If I knew they were going to ask me for it, I would've done it already. But they didn't. And I hate that no matter what I do, my parents always find some way to blame me for everything that happens to me.
I hate it when people yell at me. I really do. It always makes me horrible and I end up crying for the rest of the day because of how horrible I feel. Because no matter how angry/disapointed other people are at me, I always hate myself more than they ever could.
I'm sorry dad.
I'm sorry I'm such a disapointment.
I'm sorry that I'm a failure.
I'm sorry that no matter what I do, I can never do anything right. I always mess things up.
I'm sorry I can't make you happy.
My dad is giving me the ride, mostly after some convincing by my mom. But I was more than willing to take the train since it seemed like my dad was not going to give me the ride. I was even going to spend money on a hotel in case I couldn't make it back home.
I was originally going to go back to school on wednesday morning but I think I might stay after I move my stuff in.
My dad hates me. I know he does. Part of me wished I could have taken the train there so I wouldn't have to endure a long car ride with him.
So I might stay so that I don't have to burden my dad/give him him any other reason to hate me.
I'm sorry. I just had to vent. I feel a bit better.
but if it turns out I do move in on Sunday, I probably wont be on since my apartment doesn't have internet access yet. I have to call in order to get it installed and I don;t know how long that will take.
there's a computer lab though, so I might just hang in there if I need to.