(Untitled)

[rbier]

I have recently (five minutes ago, at two am on a Sunday night, fighting a bout of insomnia) discovered that a former editor of Carpe Noctem (Dana Vachon, class of 2002), whom I both admire and despise (long story), is coming out with a novel (this is another set of unnecessary parentheses). Will be released in 2007. He got a tad over half a

Comments

[00evan]

Nemeses (there are no such thing as archnemeses, only archenemies, due to copyright issues with McDonald's) are often the best of friends if they are super-hero/villains when in their mundane personas.

[rbier]

Are you implying that McDonald's's's trademark is the golden archnemeses?

[00evan]

Yes, actually. The golden archnemeses are Grimace and Hamburglar.

[klugspeck]

An archnemesis needs to get inside the head of the person he's nemesising, so by all means get yourself a copy. Then study it, learn his secrets, and when the time is right, have your revenge. Your sweet, sweet revenge.

[rbier]

Brilliant! I'll have to pre-order a copy.

Then again, he didn't really do anything that merits revenge. I'll assume I can use revenge-like methods for vengeance purposes.

[mysecretweapon]

Whoa, son! Your parentheses are getting a little out of hand.

Surely you understand that they're only valuable when they're rare... like diamonds. The alpha ("(") and the omega (")") are to be feared and respected. They are also to be groomed twice a week to my specifications.

Here are my specifications:

aj8&691289
j--/j1290h
aj osa89//Georgiageorgiageorgia

I had to write them in code so others could not discover their true power. I also ran zigzag to get here to lose any potential stalkers.

In any case, writing humor (I assume that's the slant of said book) for a mass audience usually forces you to water down your material. Case in point: Dave Barry.

The mighty have definitely fallen.

[rbier]

You of all people! Six parens surrounding only three words?! The stock market is down today. It is your fault.

Also, I think that zigzag thing is to avoid alligators, not stalkers. Though I have been wrong before. Sigh... this is why I left Florida... too many alligators and stalkers, and too many rules for how to outrun them. [Rule #12: Always throw a baby at a stalker to slow it down]

Anyways, thank you for your advice. I will treasure it always. [Next time, could you send the secret message using semaphore?]

[mysecretweapon]

I took down the stock market for fun. I'll post it back up tomorrow with a link to a video of a cat jumping over a cake.

The zigzag thing works remarkably well. Don't discredit its power. This one guy wrote it off and now he can't produce semen.

As you can tell, we're serious here at the Office of Zigzag Efficacy.

It's probably best that you left Florida. Why? The alligators now work in teams with the stalkers to take down prey. It's about teamwork and cooperation. It brings a tear to that one weird corner of my eye.

Secret message stays as is. I will send the secret message along with Domino Pizza's new brownie promotion. Of course, if they just made better pizza they wouldn't have to pair it up with things like brownies.