an honest first attempt at writing a story. Very short, written at 4 in the morning. Thoughts?
The boy slowly made his way across his room and reached his nightstand, where stood his half-empty glass of water. Sitting down at the head of his bed, the young man removed his shoes and fell into his bed; tipping back the remainder of his water, he began to unwind for the night. He closed his eyes as he turned on his side, comfortably huddled into his favorite bedding, and he drifted off to the quiet hum of the furnace
It was at this point that the young man was slowly drifting further away from his natural state of existence...
As he opened his eyes, he noticed that the ground before him lifted him higher than he'd been used to--swaying him to-and-fro as though existing with a mind of its own. He looked down at the ground and noticed that his skin-tone was darker than it had ever been, almost black. Also, he couldn’t hear noises, the mute silence appeared to him louder than any concert he’d ever attended, shattering what he’d often considered to be his admirably strong concentration. He kept looking around and found, to his surprise, that as the ground moved up and down, he could make out a town center with a four way stop. He made his way slowly toward the street, and noticed that each street had different situations occurring within them: in one, He was battling chicken nuggets for position in a life-like ranch dressing pool. Despite his dismay at his (or his clone’s) apparent inability to effectively combat the violent Chicken nuggets, the young man turned away to peer down the second street. Only, the image he saw was less inviting than before. He noticed a floating yellow Elephant whose owner appeared to be dragging on the ground with a leash connected to his appendages. The owner, upon further examination, was a clown-faced version of the young man, and he gasped, though silently, as he noticed the depressing make-up his clown-version wore. The elephant appeared to be, happily-if that was a smile on the elephant’s face, thought the young man, I’ve seen everything-maneuvering the clown-faced version of the young man as though he was a marionette doll.
With a manic smile, the depressed-looking clown-faced version of the young man scraped itself up from the ground, to the sudden cracking of appendages, which the young man not only heard, but also felt. Shooting pain reached all of the joints in his body, and at this the young man scrambled painfully around, trying to find other things occurring… down the other direction, cars came rushing at him. He stood in the center of the median, and noticed that a baby with his adult face was crawling across the street. Without warning, a motorbike with a distressing cannon-like sound overcame the infant and ran over the infant. Still moving, the infant turned toward the young man and stared at him with his similar face. It mouthed words that looked like, “Get out of here..” Or maybe it was “Get another Beer”, the young man couldn’t tell, for the silence was now deafening.
The young man gasped, and suddenly realized that his physical presence in this dream world was more than simply a hyper-real representation of his natural world... and recognized that he was no longer simply in a dream state, but a realm of existence in which he was constantly succumbing to his surroundings. “But what of this realm,” thought the young man… How do I escape impending death?”
It was then that he began to fear for his safety, ducking slowly behind each building on the streets, noticing his ragged breathing pattern with each step. In so doing, the young man established that he may never wake from this alternate realm. Ducking the bone-crunching motorbike that followed his every turn, and ducking the giant chickens and levitating elephants as he tried to establish some sense of reality, the young man found a point of safety at an entrance to a bar that appeared all too familiar to him. Running into this watering hole, the young man faced his attackers as he shut the door behind him. He turned and leaned against the door… Despite the racing heart palpitations he experienced, the young man reached the bar and asked the somber bar-tender for ‘the usual.’ Sipping from his glass, the young man sighed of relief and closed his eyes.
The young man then began to hyperventilate... Opening his eyes and gasping for air, the he noticed the comfortable confines of his bedroom. The normal walls flickered with light as he sat up in his bed. With beads of sweat dripping down his face, he considered whether he had just had another bad dream. As he turned over to return to sleep, he noticed an unfinished glass of whisky and a dark metallic box laying randomly on his nightstand.
Slowly opening this apparently misplaced box, the young man discovered a mirror inlay that popped up…as well as an assortment of brushes with various colors of make-up. Only then did he realize that he was wearing the sad clown make-up, and behind him, he saw a floating yellow elephant. The elephant still had his legs entangled in chains, the man noticed, as he attempted to crawl from his bed. The elephant drifted through the wall, into the street, and the young man’s lower torso disjointed itself from its upper body. Screaming, in pain and distress, the young man said ironically, “Apparently, it was no dream. That God Damned Elephant and his marionette trick.” Was the last words said to be uttered by the young man on that fateful night.
Saw The Godfather this evening. Rented it because I'm almost finished with Mario Puzo's great novel. I'm still staggered aback at the brilliance of it all. The dialogue was fantastic, the story was brilliantly told. The visuals, the music, all in all one of the best movies of all time.
Other than that, I've been hanging out these last couple of days. Got really really hammered last night after work. Met up with my friend Neena at her place and bought a bunch of Coronas and some Beck's Dark beer. Had a grand old time at her friend Nathan's place. Spent Saturday recovering. Still need to regain my rest. Will do so in a moment.
Played Basketball and saw our good friend Ben at the Street Fest in town. There were some nice things going on and some well-designed booths were located on the street. Didn't purchase anything, but I had an enjoyable walk-through. I figure the next time it swings around, I'll be more involved in some capacity.
I've been listening to Fiona Apple much lately. The resonance of her voice is so massive to me. And it coincides with the piano she plays to create an ultimate experience aurally.
About to start the internship. I'm actually kind of nervous. Haven't really done anything with it yet and I know we'll be cramming in a great deal of work in these short two months left of summer.
Oh well, it'll work out.
Seriously, at least let me know what you think of the story. It's feebly written, but it was a decent first attempt. I think.
It was at this point that the young man was slowly drifting further away from his natural state of existence...
As he opened his eyes, he noticed that the ground before him lifted him higher than he'd been used to--swaying him to-and-fro as though existing with a mind of its own. He looked down at the ground and noticed that his skin-tone was darker than it had ever been, almost black. Also, he couldn’t hear noises, the mute silence appeared to him louder than any concert he’d ever attended, shattering what he’d often considered to be his admirably strong concentration. He kept looking around and found, to his surprise, that as the ground moved up and down, he could make out a town center with a four way stop. He made his way slowly toward the street, and noticed that each street had different situations occurring within them: in one, He was battling chicken nuggets for position in a life-like ranch dressing pool. Despite his dismay at his (or his clone’s) apparent inability to effectively combat the violent Chicken nuggets, the young man turned away to peer down the second street. Only, the image he saw was less inviting than before. He noticed a floating yellow Elephant whose owner appeared to be dragging on the ground with a leash connected to his appendages. The owner, upon further examination, was a clown-faced version of the young man, and he gasped, though silently, as he noticed the depressing make-up his clown-version wore. The elephant appeared to be, happily-if that was a smile on the elephant’s face, thought the young man, I’ve seen everything-maneuvering the clown-faced version of the young man as though he was a marionette doll.
With a manic smile, the depressed-looking clown-faced version of the young man scraped itself up from the ground, to the sudden cracking of appendages, which the young man not only heard, but also felt. Shooting pain reached all of the joints in his body, and at this the young man scrambled painfully around, trying to find other things occurring… down the other direction, cars came rushing at him. He stood in the center of the median, and noticed that a baby with his adult face was crawling across the street. Without warning, a motorbike with a distressing cannon-like sound overcame the infant and ran over the infant. Still moving, the infant turned toward the young man and stared at him with his similar face. It mouthed words that looked like, “Get out of here..” Or maybe it was “Get another Beer”, the young man couldn’t tell, for the silence was now deafening.
The young man gasped, and suddenly realized that his physical presence in this dream world was more than simply a hyper-real representation of his natural world... and recognized that he was no longer simply in a dream state, but a realm of existence in which he was constantly succumbing to his surroundings. “But what of this realm,” thought the young man… How do I escape impending death?”
It was then that he began to fear for his safety, ducking slowly behind each building on the streets, noticing his ragged breathing pattern with each step. In so doing, the young man established that he may never wake from this alternate realm. Ducking the bone-crunching motorbike that followed his every turn, and ducking the giant chickens and levitating elephants as he tried to establish some sense of reality, the young man found a point of safety at an entrance to a bar that appeared all too familiar to him. Running into this watering hole, the young man faced his attackers as he shut the door behind him. He turned and leaned against the door… Despite the racing heart palpitations he experienced, the young man reached the bar and asked the somber bar-tender for ‘the usual.’ Sipping from his glass, the young man sighed of relief and closed his eyes.
The young man then began to hyperventilate... Opening his eyes and gasping for air, the he noticed the comfortable confines of his bedroom. The normal walls flickered with light as he sat up in his bed. With beads of sweat dripping down his face, he considered whether he had just had another bad dream. As he turned over to return to sleep, he noticed an unfinished glass of whisky and a dark metallic box laying randomly on his nightstand.
Slowly opening this apparently misplaced box, the young man discovered a mirror inlay that popped up…as well as an assortment of brushes with various colors of make-up. Only then did he realize that he was wearing the sad clown make-up, and behind him, he saw a floating yellow elephant. The elephant still had his legs entangled in chains, the man noticed, as he attempted to crawl from his bed. The elephant drifted through the wall, into the street, and the young man’s lower torso disjointed itself from its upper body. Screaming, in pain and distress, the young man said ironically, “Apparently, it was no dream. That God Damned Elephant and his marionette trick.” Was the last words said to be uttered by the young man on that fateful night.
Saw The Godfather this evening. Rented it because I'm almost finished with Mario Puzo's great novel. I'm still staggered aback at the brilliance of it all. The dialogue was fantastic, the story was brilliantly told. The visuals, the music, all in all one of the best movies of all time.
Other than that, I've been hanging out these last couple of days. Got really really hammered last night after work. Met up with my friend Neena at her place and bought a bunch of Coronas and some Beck's Dark beer. Had a grand old time at her friend Nathan's place. Spent Saturday recovering. Still need to regain my rest. Will do so in a moment.
Played Basketball and saw our good friend Ben at the Street Fest in town. There were some nice things going on and some well-designed booths were located on the street. Didn't purchase anything, but I had an enjoyable walk-through. I figure the next time it swings around, I'll be more involved in some capacity.
I've been listening to Fiona Apple much lately. The resonance of her voice is so massive to me. And it coincides with the piano she plays to create an ultimate experience aurally.
About to start the internship. I'm actually kind of nervous. Haven't really done anything with it yet and I know we'll be cramming in a great deal of work in these short two months left of summer.
Oh well, it'll work out.
Seriously, at least let me know what you think of the story. It's feebly written, but it was a decent first attempt. I think.