Something Borrowed Part 2

[rchginger]

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Now


He knows that he’s had too much. Knows that he should go catch himself a cab home to sleep it off. But he’s warm and relaxed and trails his fingers over the neck of his empty beer bottle as he watches Dean stride over to the bar, smiling at the blond squeezed into a white tank top that has ‘Fallen Angel’ stretched across her breast. Dean says something to her that makes her shake her head and bite her lip as she smiles in way that is obviously seductive.

From the corner of his eye Castiel can see Fallen Angel turn on her bar stool and survey Dean, absorbing him in his full glory - spiked hair tussled in just the right way, full lips. Anna had once complained that Dean garners more stares and double takes than she does. Yet, unlike his female counterpart, Dean seems not to no­tice the attention. Fallen Angel now casts her eyes towards Castiel, likely wondering what Dean was doing there with someone as average as he was. He wonders whether she thinks they’re just friends. He hopes she thinks they’re a couple.

Dean nods, and takes the beers the bartender puts in front of him before turning and heading back to there table and placing a cool Heineken in front of Castiel and he takes it in hand and downs half in one go as Dean resumes his seat.

“She’s wondering what your doing here with me? Why you would chose to come back over here, instead of taking in all her obviously displayed assets.” Castiel said - the woman looks their way again, throws them a bitter and put out look before turning to face forward and picking up her glass.

“What?” Dean asked, looking over his shoulder at the woman as though he had no idea what Castiel was talking about.

Castiel snorted as he picked up his beer and placed it to his lips.

“You have no idea do you? You really don’t notice they way women look at you.” Which is equal parts surprising and not to Castiel because Dean has never seemed to notice the way women all turn towards him, pushing out their chest and fluffing their hair like hens trying their damndest to gain the roosters attention.

“You’re funny.” Dean said.

“I’m not that funny.”

“No, you are, but you were funnier in college.”

“Like you noticed.”

“Cas, you were the only thing I noticed back then. My only damn friend for nearly two years when I first got out here.”

“Huh,” Castiel grunts.

Dean’s smiles around the mouth of his own beer - wide and real, a sight rarely seen now a day with the wedding growing closer. He doesn’t doubt that Dean loves Anna but he knows that she can be a bit, well demanding on good days and down right bitchy on bad ones. The fact that it’s him that has Dean looking happier than he had all night makes warmth swirl wildly in his belly, like a bundle of kittens had been unleashed in side of him.

He knows he’s had too much and all that beer has loosened his tongue until he is helpless to stop what he knows is coming.

“I had the biggest crush on you,” Castiel said, “Oh, shit,” follows a second later.

“What?” Dean asked, blinking rapidly as silence grew between them and was kept from growing oppressive by the bustling sounds of the bar. A shrieking laugh from two tables over seems to break Dean out of his stupor. “No you didn’t.”

Castiel pauses, unsure at first but then figures he’s come this far.

“’Course I did.” He shrugs, washes away his sudden dry mouth with beer.

“You never said anything.”

“It’s one thing to have a bi-curious friend and another to have him curious about you.”

The night kind of comes to an end at that point, which is fine really because it’s last call and quickly approaching four o’clock. They catch a cab ‘two stops please’ because they live on opposite sides of Seattle Center, Dean in Queen Ann and Castiel in Pioneer Square.

They sit in silence, the light sounds of traffic providing background noise, for nearly ten blocks, maybe more but Castiel’s not sure as he’s too busy looking out the window and the one time he looks over to Dean he sees the other man doing the same. The cab screeches to a stop, the cabbie yelling profanities at the driver in front of them but neither Dean nor Castiel is paying much attention because Castiel has some how ended up in Dean’s lap and in the span of a breath they are kissing. The gentle, wet sound of their mouths meeting filling the backseat. At some point Dean must have told the cabbie that they would only need one stop after all because soon Dean is shuffling Castiel out of the cab and throwing bills at the driver while telling him to keep the change.

There’s more kissing on the sidewalk and on the elevator up to the penthouse that had been an impulsive buy for Castiel but ultimately a great decision. Dean presses Castiel up against the elevator wall and spent the ride learning the taste of Castiel’s mouth with his tongue while Castiel was unable to do anything other than make little noises that would have been embarrassing to him if he had been able to make himself care, and tug at the spiky blond strains of hair.

The doors open with a ‘ding’ and they stumble clumsily down the hall to Castiel’s door where he fumbles with fingers that feel like sausages and shake, making it difficult to get the key in the lock. Dean trailing his lips down his neck and nipping at the back of his neck doesn’t help much either. When the door opens Castiel drops the keys in the entry way, aiming for the bowl on a table end by the door but missing and not caring as he and Dean fight their way out of their clothes and make their way to the bedroom, bumping into the sofa and knocking over a couple of chairs on the way to his perfectly made bed.

Dean’s has his hands down Castiel’s boxers when he pulls his mouth away and for one horrifying second Castiel is sure that he will stop and this will be the end of their friendship.

“Are you drunk?”

It’s not what Castiel had been expecting so it takes him a moment to answer.

“No.” He said; because that’s what you say when you’re drunk and a hot guy has his hand down your pants.

Then Dean’s moving over him and their boxers are flying over the edge of the bed and everything gets intense and heated and just like that he’s having sex with his sister’s fiancé.

…………………………..

He has a minor heart attack when he wakes to the sight of Dean smiling at him and the sound of Anna’s voice. For a moment he’s disoriented and then everything comes back and Anna is yelling for him to pick up the phone and Castiel is falling from the bed while attempting to keep covered. When he looks up Dean is pulling on his pants and looking around, craning his head this way and that.

“What time is it? Where the hell’s your clock Cas?”

Castiel refrains from answering, too busy as he is worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and staring at the ringing phone with wide eyes in terror as though waiting for Anna to suddenly emerge from the machine.

“Cas,”

He couldn’t believe he had……

“Cas!”

Had…….

“Castiel!”

The sound of Dean’s voice draws his eyes from the phone that had finally fallen silent and he blinks; startled to find the other man fully dressed, if rumpled, and standing only a foot or so away.

“It’ll be okay.”

“How Dean? We-” he wants to do nothing but curl in on himself and go back to bed. He thinks about crying but figures that would do nothing to help cure the hangover that’s lurking behind his eyes.

The phone starts to ring again.

“I have to go. I’ll call you later.” Dean said and Castiel nods.

Dean hesitates a moment before leaning in and brushing a kiss across Castiel’s lips, exiting with a flutter of clothing and the soft click of the bedroom door closing and leaving behind the lingering scent of Calvin Klein’s Euphoria.

Again the damn phone rings.

Castiel sighed, wondering why he always had to complicate his life.

…………………………………

He isn’t surprise to find the bouquet of roses waiting for him on his desk when he enters his office the next morning. Surprise is too mild of a word. The red and white of the petals bleed together beautifully and Castiel snaps a photo them with a camera that he always kept on hand in his office before plucking the note from the bundle and stashing it away out of sight, placing the card on the ink blotter on his desk. He forgets about them altogether for most of the day, too busy as he is preparing the gallery for the upcoming exhibit. It isn’t until he enters his office and finds Gabriel sitting in his chair the roses on display on his desk that he gives them another thought.

Scowling he strides across the room, snatching the card from Gabriel’s hand.

“What the hell Cas?”

I had an amazing time last night ~~~~P.S. I’m mostly sending these because I know you’ll blush and love the gesture you big sap.

“What?” Castiel bristled.

“I had an amazing time last night?” Gabriel quotes with a raised eyebrow and looking far too knowing for Castiel’s peace of mind.

“So?”

“So who’s it from?” Castiel refrains from answering but that does nothing to hinder Gabriel who trudges on. “Because I remember you going off with Dean last night. And those can’t be from him, surely.”

Castiel shrugged.

“I met someone.”

“Really? Who? What did he look like? What’s his name?”

“…..Luke, he-”

“He doesn’t exist. Because I know you Cas, and you don’t do one night stands with strangers. Then again I could be wrong because before today I would’ve sworn you didn’t fuck your sister’s fiancé either.”

“Gabriel-”

“What the fuck do you think your doing Cas?”

Castiel’s shoulders slumped and he sighed, running a hand down his face and wishing for a do-over.

“It’s not as though I planned it Gabriel. It - it just happened.”

“It’s that what you plan on telling Anna. It just happened.”

“If you most know, I’m not planning on telling Anna anything.”

“Cas-”

“Can you just drop it Gabriel. Please.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes. “For now, but don’t think this is the last time we’ll speak about this.”

“Of course not,” Castiel muttered beneath his breath. “I wouldn’t be that lucky.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

It’s pouring down buckets of too warm rain when he exits the gallery, the air sticky with humanity and creating the feeling of being in a sauna. He flagged down a cab sooner than he would have expected to be able to and was a block away from his building when his cell-phone vibrated in his pocket. He’s not quite sure why he’s surprised to see Dean’s name displayed across the screen - but he is.

“Hello Dean.”

There’s a small hesitation before Dean responds.

“Ah, hey Cas.”

There’s a moment of silence with the noise of the evening traffic providing background noise and the sound of Dean’s breathing loud in his ear. He wants to say something, anything, thinks he should but isn’t really sure what it is he wants to say. So he says nothing. Soon the cab pulls to a stop in front of his building and Castiel exits the yellow car, passing a handful of bills to the driver, he’s in the elevator on his way to his floor when Dean finally speaks.

“I ah, I need to see you again. Alone.”

“Dean-”

“I know Cas, this is all kinds of fucked up, but - I need to see you. Please.”

Castiel took a deep breath and he knocked his head gently against the metal wall of the elevator.

“All right. When?”

“During the weekend of the fourth? Anna said you weren’t planning on going out to the San Juan Islands this year.”

“No,”

“And I, coincidentally, have some work that needs to be done so I won’t be going. So I was thinking that maybe we could do something, spend sometime alone together, and try to figure out -what this is.”

“I-”

There were so many reasons for him to say no - Anna being at the top of the list - but all his life Castiel had stood the side beneath Anna’s shadow even though he was younger. Maybe, just this once he could take something for himself.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“All right.” Dean paused and Castiel could imagine him with that stupid-happy grin on his face, the picture of it caused one to spread across Castiel’s own lips. “I’ll, ah, I’ll call you later this week.”

“Okay then,”

“Okay - bye Cas.”

“Bye Dean,”

………………………………………………………………………………………….

Olympic Sculpture Park is bustling with activity which is a good thing because they get swallowed in the swell of the crows and Castiel has only a minor heart attack when Dean takes his hand, pulling Castiel into his side. So far they’ve refrained from talking about anything serious regarding their, relationship as it is, and neither Anna nor the fast approaching wedding is talked about. Mostly Dean makes fun of the art while Castiel attempts, and fails, to engage Dean in understanding the concept behind the pieces. The sounds of the Bay can be heard over the voices of the crowd - the passing ferries, seagulls, and what not.

It’s when they wander into the Wake, Dean cradling Castiel’s hand in his own, and Castiel’s face warm and red for which he’ll blame the sun if asked but knows it’s because of Dean, when everything goes to hell in the 6 foot mountain high form of one Sam Winchester.

Dean pulls away from him hurriedly, but Castiel can see it written across his face that he saw and the way his lips twist and his eyes narrow in which Dean would refer to as his ‘bitch face’ he’s not happy about it.

“Hey Sam,” Dean spoke up first.

“Dean. Cas,” Sam said, nodding his head in acknowledgment of their presences.

The two brothers have a mini stand off, both glaring at each other, and if Castiel didn’t know any better he’d think they were having some kind of silent telepathic conversation. It’s the sound of a clearing of a throat that pulls the boys from their stare off and draws Castiel’s attention to the small blonde at Sam’s side.

“Ah, Sam,”

“Oh Jess,” “This is my brother Dean and his- and Cas.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you both. Especially you Dean, Sam talks about you a lot.”

Dean grunts out something that could have been anything from a hello to a go-to-hell and Castiel elbows him in the side for it, receiving a glare from Dean in return.

“I-” Castiel started only to snap his mouth shut when Sam cuts him a look that would kill him over if such things were possible.

“Sam,”

“Can I talk to you for a moment Dean?”

Castiel and Jess watched the brothers walk off to the side Dean’s eyes swinging wildly as they argued.

“What the fuck Dean-” Is the only words that reach them as they become devoured by the flowing crowd.

“So, how long have you and Sam been dating.”

“Oh, ah, six months tomorrow.”

“That’s-” But Castiel doesn’t get a chance to finish because as quick as they left, Dean has returned, nothing even sparring Jess a glance as he catches Castiel wrist and tugs him along, storming a path through the crowd.

“So-” Castiel said once they’re in the car with Dean behind the wheel and presumably heading to Castiel’s place.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But-”

“Cas,” Dean said between clenched teeth. “Please.”

“Okay. We won’t talk about it.”

Castiel thinks it’s just one more item on the growing list of things they don’t talk about.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

It’s not that he’d had any delusions of him and Dean wandering off into the sunset together, but after the roses and the day spent at Olympic Sculpture Park he had been expecting something to happen. Apparently his expectations were too high.

He did see Dean the following weekend however - at the weekly brunch with the family. It wasn’t as awkward as he had expected, if your definition of awkward was anything other than the one listed in Webster that is - made all the more so by the presences of Balthazar, whom Anna had apparently ran into and had been thoughtful enough to invite.

With Castiel worrying that everyone knew what he had Dean had done and him glaring at Dean who in turn was glaring at Balthazar the brunch hung around the levels of nightmarish and oh-god-kill-me-now. That’s how he came to be nearly drunk of his ass and butchering Jessie J in the middle of the Library with Gabriel insanely singing (and off key mind you) who’s laughing now. Because Gabriel was always there to chase away his nightmares with a stiff drink that had the simultaneous affect of drowning his sorrows.

“He’s not good enough for you anyway.” Gabriel said, tequila swishing over the side of his shot glass as he motions in a wide arch with his arm.

Castiel grunted. “You say that about everyone.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel said with a shrug. “I’m just waiting for you to come to your senses and realize I’m the best person for you.”

“Gabriel,” Castiel started with a chuckle.

“Is the thought that ridiculous to you?”

The slight hurt to his tone is surprising and makes Castiel take a second look and - he’s not joking. Serious isn’t a look that graces Gabriel’s face often but Castiel’s been friends with him long enough to know it when he sees’s it.

“Wha- you’re serious?”

Gabriel shrugged, looking up at him beneath his lashes sheepishly as he twirled the shot glass on the bar with a single finger.

“Maybe.”

Castiel blinked, fairly sure that the numbing sensation in his chest meant he was in shock a little. “You never - why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I’m not the idiot Winchester apparently is. I could see how in love with him you are - and don’t try to deny it Castiel.”

While his feeling for Dean wasn’t something he could hide from - something he had learned a month after meeting Dean - he hadn’t thought it was obvious to anyone else.

“I - I wasn’t going to.”

Gabriel snorted, throwing back the shot.

“You could have still told me.” Castiel said

“And have you shot me down? No thanks,”

“You don’t know,” Castiel began but Gabriel didn’t allow him to continue.

“Yes I do, and you do to. Besides, even if I had asked you out and you said yes, I’d whether not be with someone who’s in love with someone else.”

“I - Gabriel,”

“Shut up Cas, I didn’t tell you so you could do the pouty- guilt thing. I just - I don’t know why I told you. Too much tequila I guess.”

Castiel could feel Gabriel jerk with surprise as he threw his arms around him in a sloppy mess of a hug that served to put Gabriel’s peach scented hair in his face.

“I do love you,”

“Yeah, but like a puppy.” Gabriel said but with no really bitterness or anger.

“Well, you do make a cute puppy.”

“Damn right I do.”

Castiel laughed, still clinging to Gabriel.

“You can let me go you know, I’m not going to leave you, mostly because you’d be lost without me.”

“True.”

“I cannot tell a lie.”

“Please.” Castiel snorted.

Castiel untangled himself from around Gabriel, righting himself on the bar stool and signaling the bartender for another round of shots.

“You know if I could love you my life would be far less complicated.”

“You’re a drama whore.”

“Screw you.”

“You wish.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………
The whole waking up to a ringing phone thing is so overrated, when compounded with pounding at the front door it equated with the first level of hell.

“Would you please answer one of those?” a voice by his left shoulder said gruffly. Castiel turned on his side to find Gabriel lying there, or what he was pretty sure was Gabriel, the pillow over his face was making it hard to get a positive I.D.

“Why the hell are you in my bed?”

“Am I naked?” Gabriel asked, at least Castiel was pretty sure that was what he said - he couldn’t be sure what with the pillow still over his head.

“No.” thankfully - Castiel thought

“Then I probably passed out trying to get your drunken ass to bed.”

“I-”

The ringing, which had stopped, began once again, as did the pounding on the door.

“Cas! Castiel!” The roar of his name being called some how reached over his ears over the sound of the knocking and ringing of the phone. He’s hurrying from his bed, stumbling to his knees when his feet become tangled in the sheets, wanting to stop the shouting before one of his neighbors call the police. He’s half-way to the door when it registers that the voice belongs to Dean.

He jerks the door open, moving his head to the side in time to keep from getting hit in the face as Dean’s fisted hand was on a descent to continue knocking. Dean looks startled for a swift moment to find him standing there, his jeans and t-shirt rumpled and his leather jacket thrown over his arm.

“Hey,”

Castiel didn’t allow him to say anything more, gritting his teeth and barely refraining from hitting Dean. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I-”

“Do you want to be arrested, is that it?”

“I-”

“I mean-”

“Cas-”

“What the hell are you doing here Dean?”

“I-” and Castiel had every intention of letting him finish this time only Dean didn’t say anything else. His mouth pinched shut and his eyes darkened, when he heard the patter of bare feet on the hardwood floors he knew why.

“Coffee?” Gabriel implored, rubbing slowly at his closed eyes. He froze when he opened them and Castiel watched his gaze swing between him and Dean before he turned and went into the bedroom, returning a moment later with his shoes in his hands. “There’s a Starbucks on the corner. You want anything?”

“Um no,”

Gabriel nodded, slipping pass them and out the door pausing to glare at Dean.

“You hurt him and I’ll kick your ass.”

Dean watched Gabriel’s retreating form until it disappeared behind the shiny metal doors of the elevator, before turning his dark gaze to Castiel.

“What the hell was he doing here?”

“Sleeping, like a normal person does at this time of day.”

“It’s noon!”

Castiel glanced to the wall clock handing on the wall next to the door.

Huh,

“Come in.”

Dean did, slamming the door a little harshly behind him.

“Why was he here?’ Dean demanded again, throwing his jacket over a bench seat positioned in the entry way.

“I’m not sure that’s any of your business?” Castiel responded, moving into the kitchen with Dean at his heels to start a kettle of water. He’d prefer a cup of coffee but he was out, his cupboards depressingly empty - he should probably go shopping soon.

“Wha-” Dean sputtered, “Not my-”

“No it’s not, especially when I haven’t heard anything from you for a week.”

“I-”

“And besides your engaged,” Castiel ranted as he pulled two cups out of the cupboard, placing two Awake Tazo tea bags in them. “So you don’t get to be-”

“I’m not,”

“You obviously are, if looks could kill Gabriel would be dead.”

“Would serve him right, poaching what doesn’t belong to him.”

“I don’t belong to you either!” Castiel yelled, splashing water into the cups, banging around in the fridge for the half-and-half. “You’re engaged,”

“No. I. Am. Not.”

Castiel paused, the milk still tilted so that milk continued to pour from the carton and overflowing in the cup and running over the sides to pool in a white and black mess on the countertop. He blinked, and then blinked again.

“You’re not what?”

Castiel asked, because it couldn’t be what he was thinking.

“Not engaged. Not anymore.”

Expect it apparently was.

“What, I - you -”

“Cas,”

“How-”

“Are you actually going to finish a sentence?”

“Why?”

“Are you telling me you honestly don’t know?”

“But-”

“I love you, how the hell could I marry her when you’re all I can think about?”

“You love me?”

Dean smiled, all soft and wide - his eyes filled with a warmth that Castiel hadn’t ever seen directed at him - and stepped into Castiel’s space, taking the now forgotten carton of milk from Castiel and sitting it on the counter so that he could take Castiel’s hands into his own.

“You saying you didn’t know.”

“I had hope,”

Dean tilted his head, leaning forward so that his lips brushed teasingly over Castiel’s.

“Have anything you want to say to me?”

Castiel smiled.

“You know I-” Castiel paused. “Oh no, oh my god no.”

“Well,” Dean said, a little stunned as Castiel pulled away. “Can’t say that was the reaction I was expecting.”

“Anna. Oh god-”

“Cas,”

“You - you broke off the engagement. Anna’s going to be crushed.”

“Cas,”

“I’m a horrible, horrible person. How could I have - am nothing more than a slut. A no good home-wrecker.”

Dean laughed, grabbing Castiel arms and pulling him close.

“I have no idea what you’re finding so damn funny-”

“We both agreed that getting married wasn’t the best thing.”

Castiel looked at him suspiciously. He didn’t believe that Dean would lie to him about something so important. He also knew Anna and couldn’t believe that Anna would ever be okay with getting dumped.

“You’re sure. She was okay when you left her?”

“Yeah Cas. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I know.” Castiel muttered, allowing Dean to pull him into a hug.

“Me an Anna,” Dean said after a moment. “we were never right.”

“Why?”

Dean pulled back, allowing a few scant inches between their bodies. He nudged Castiel’s chin until he had no choice but to look at Dean.

“You know why.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

It’s not all fluffy bunnies and red hearts after that but Castiel likes to think they’re on their way to a happy ending - all of them. Though there are a few painful-nightmarish-awkward moments, like when Anna showed up unannounced to rant about Dean breaking it off only to find Dean in his apartment. His mom isn’t really speaking to him but she keeps sending wedding magazines with little notes attached like - we do live in Seattle honey- and his father is disappointed in him but not so much so that he doesn’t take Castiel’s calls and he agreed to go to a Seahawks game with Dean.

Anna was pregnant and mostly ignoring Castiel and Dean, she had been in agreement to end the engagement but Castiel knew the fact that Dean did it first left her with a sour taste and him doing so that he could be with her baby brother didn’t lend itself to warm fuzzy feelings.

Gabriel had moved to Britain and met a girl named Kali. Castiel was happy for him - the thought that he might have unwilling and unknowingly hurt Gabriel made Castiel’s hurt clenched. He had been on the receiving end of that - not that he blamed Dean.

As for him, we wasn’t feeling as guilty about breaking Dean and Anna up in light of the fact that Anna was pregnant - with Balthazar’s baby. He had finally taken something for himself - and he was never ever giving him back.

...........................................................................................................................................................................
Part 1