hey god. thanks for sucking so much. there's one thing--one thing in the whole world that i want to work out more than anything and you have to go and fuck it up. well, thanks a lot. glad to see your having a good time at my expense. fuck you.

dear sim city,

you suck. and you made my city suck

sincerely
billy fuckin del sesto

so, as you all know, i've been spending quite some time trying to figure out who i am. it's taken a lot od soul searching, and i regret to inform you that i am no longer an elephant. i am a CIA operative working undercover as a student at a private school. i'm currently investigating an information leak believed to be spread through an agent's ( Read more... )

i've recently been informed that sinc i am no longer a pirate, i am now an elephant.

so today was fairly interesting. it started off in a minor laceration resulting in stitches and ended in a shapeshifting jackyl standing in the rain ( Read more... )

dear united skates of america ( Read more... )

aaaaaargh!!! i'm a pirate!

aside from the revelation, i just wan to say that anxiety sucks monkey tails. aaargh!

did you ever notice that when your mom says something like, "not to worry you, but..." it's going to worry you? really? cuz so have i. par example, my mom starts talking to me as the two of us sit down at dinner and says to me, "not to worry you, but you have almost no money in your savings account." that's right folks, the very same savings ( Read more... )

i'm madeleine, and i'm an idiot. boohoo, i have to go to syracuse

i cut my lip shaving today. it bled for like 15 minutes before it finally scabbed up. now it feels tight every time i laugh. i'm afraid when i laugh the scab will break and spirt blood everywhere. that would be straight...yea ( Read more... )