I wrote this earlier this past summer; posting it to my LJ for the first time. School and work are kicking my ass big time right now, so I haven't been able to post any updates on any of my fics. Hopefully soon I'll able to. :)
Title: Resolute (1/8)
Author: re_vitalized
Fandom: JONAS
Rating: PG-13
Type: multi-chapter
Summary: She was afraid of growing up, and he was already there; the classic Peter Pan and Wendy tale, it seemed.
PART I: Realization
He stared down into his mug, half empty (he remembered her always telling him that it was never half empty and that it was, in fact, half full; she'd always been the more optimistic one), as everyone around them chattered away, sipping their coffees and exchanging happy stories, or business plans, or evening plans; whatever, he didn't care. All he cared about was the girl across from him, mirroring his exact position: eye downcast, slightly slouched forward with an unreadable expression on her face. Neither of them could bring themselves to talk.
How did they even get here? It seemed so perfect back then; easy.
He remembered it vividly, the day things had changed between them. It wasn't anything epic; there were no declarations of love, no passionate kisses… just him, sitting in the tour bus a week in, his brothers playing video games while he sat there, staring out of the window while rapidly passing over miles of pavement.
Seven Years Ago
He loved touring, he really did, but this time around, it felt… off. The year before, he had been over the moon being on the road. He didn't get it. He looked around the bus again; his parents were there, Frankie, Joe, Kevin, Big Man... The band and the same roadies were in the other bus, hell, even their tour bus driver was the same guy from last year. Everything was the same. The only thing that was different from the last time was that Stella wasn't with them. But that was definitely more Joe's concern than his. Stella was his best friend; that couldn't be it. Sure, it was weird not having her around; he, Joe, Kevin, Stella and Macy had hung out practically every day for the last two years up until the morning they left for the tour. It wasn't anything to fret over; they'd see each other the second the tour was over. Other than that… everything was the same.
But then he realized that it had nothing to do with anything on the tour being different. It was home; back in New Jersey, over 1,000 miles from where he was now. Not the firehouse, not Stella - but Stella's best friend; their best friend, the petite brunette who had entered their lives like a (literal) hurricane.
He smiled at the mere thought of her.
That was when he had a small revelation.
He missed her.
It confused him; two years ago, he spent an entire school year deliberately trying to avoid her. He had nothing against her; it was just that he rather liked his limbs intact. He didn't want any of them broken. He always thought she was cute, and he probably would've asked her out back then if she wasn't so accident prone around them. Imagine his relief when she started becoming more comfortable around him and his brothers the next year, after their last tour. Sure, it took months for her to get used to the idea of actually being friends with her favourite band, and it was a gradual process (a really, really long, very gradual process), but he was glad. She became a legitimate friend, to him, anyway. He wasn't the most expressive person on the planet, unless you put a guitar or any instrument in front of him, but he really considered her a friend; someone who he could actually talk to. He didn't have a lot of those.
Like that time the five of them went to the park last year and he had forgotten his insulin, for instance. She was the only one to ask him what was wrong, and she was one of the only people he let see how worried he was, considering he hadn't checked in a while. What if he lost it? He was already feeling a bit queasy from the heat. She gladly helped him look, excited over the prospect of helping out a JONAS. He didn't realize it then, but it made him happy that she was happy, given the circumstances.
"Nick," he heard Joe's voice. He shook his head, breaking away from his thoughts, and looked at his brother. Kevin was staring at him as well.
"Huh?"
"You look weird, dude," Joe observed.
"Thanks, Joe," Nick replied, rolling his eyes.
His middle brother shrugged, holding out the controller. "You want a turn?"
He stole a glance at his phone lying in front of him on the small table. "Uhh… no, thanks. I have to make a phone call. I'll play later."
Joe and Kevin shrugged and went back to their game. Nick stared at his phone a moment longer before ending the struggle with himself, getting up and moving to the back of the bus where he could have some privacy. He was going to do it. He was going to call Macy. But what if she doesn't answer…? He thought. He mentally slapped himself. Why was he nervous about talking to her all of a sudden? He talked to her all the time. Get a grip, Nick. He scrolled through his phone list and hovered over her name. If she doesn't answer, she doesn't answer. No big deal. He hit "call" and waited, unconsciously tapping his foot in anticipation. It rang once… twice… a third time-he was going to get her voicemail, he knew it.
"Hello?"
The second he heard her voice, he felt relaxed. It was the weirdest thing. He smiled into the phone. He's got this.
"Macy, hey; it's Nick."
"Nick! If this is about something you saw on the JONAS site, I swear, I'll delete it. It's just that I've been busy last week so I couldn't really keep an eye on-"
"It's okay," he laughed, cutting her off. "I just wanted to say hi, Macy."
There was silence on the other line, and Nick shifted, suddenly feeling uneasy and a little self conscious.
"Wow. Hi," she breathed. Her voice sent shivers down his spine and he broke into a grin. He was relaxed again; he couldn't believe this girl got him feeling nervous, then fine, nervous again, then fine again, all in a span of a minute.
"How's it going?" He asked conversationally.
"Oh! Great!" She beamed.
He smiled and relaxed back into his seat. "So… what's new?"
"Well I've been helping my mom out with the store during the day. I started coaching soccer last week, so that's been keeping me busy like you wouldn't believe. The kids are all 5 to 8 years old so they're a total handful…"
He gladly let her ramble on about what she was up to, perfectly content just listening to her voice.
"… and it was this horrible puke-green thing, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't like it, because it's Stella, you know? And… Nick?"
"Hmm?"
"Don't take this the wrong way, but, why did you call me?"
Well, that, he wasn't expecting to hear. "Just… because." Nice. "I miss Jersey," he finished pathetically.
"Aww," she said sympathetically. There was another pause. "Wow," she said in that breathy voice of hers again. She really needed to stop that. "I can't believe you're calling me 'just because'."
"Well if you're busy, I can g-"
"No! No, I'm not; it's just… nice, that you would even think to call me, I mean I would've thought Stella, since you're probably really busy with tour stuff and everything…"
"Yeah, well, it's nice to hear a friendly voice once in a while," he smiled. "Preferably one that won't chew my head off asking how our outfits are doing."
Her laugh filled his ears and he had to bite his lip before his own smile could break his face.
The conversation mainly consisted of Macy doing most of the talking, with Nick listening, contributing agreements and little comments here and there. He didn't mind; he just wanted to hear her voice.
"Nick, we have to go over the set list for…" Kevin said, walking in. He slowed down when he saw that Nick was still on the phone, "…tonight…"
Nick gave him a nod and Kevin slowly backed out of sight. Nick chuckled to himself before turning his attention back to Macy.
"Can I… call you again? Tomorrow night, maybe?" Nick you're so awkward, what the hell, he thought.
Back in New Jersey, Macy was sure that he could practically hear the smile on her face. "Yeah! That'd be," calm, Macy. Calm down, she chanted in her head. "That'd be cool."
"Awesome. I gotta go though. Meeting," he sighed. "I'll… talk to you tomorrow?"
"Yeah, tomorrow," she smiled. "Have a good show tonight."
"Thanks. Bye Mace."
"Bye," she breathed, her stomach flipping happily. She sighed in content after they had hung up.
"Who was that?" Stella said, walking back into the room in her pajamas, carrying a soda in her hand. She handed Macy one.
"Nick," she replied, a smile on her face.
"Cool," Stella nodded, taking a seat and flipping through a magazine. "How are the outfits, did he say?"
Macy stifled a laugh and shook her head. "Didn't come up."
Nick called again tomorrow. Then again the next night. And every night following then.
They both looked forward to talking to each other, and Macy found herself talking less, opening up her ear to the boy on the other line. Nick found himself not only listening, but talking more. They met in the middle and fell into a nice balance. Nick's voice had become the last thing Macy heard before she went to sleep, and vice versa. The time differences between Jersey and whatever city they were touring in had worried Nick initially; he didn't want to be a bother, but after an hour of Macy insisting that she didn't mind, neither did he.
"It could be 5am here and I'll still look forward to your call," she had said one night.
I wasn't a big secret on the bus, the routine that Nick had developed. His parents thought it was sweet - they adored Macy; his dad especially, with her being so devoted to the band and bringing them so much attention with the fansite. Nick sometimes wished he'd lay off the PR side of it all and just be a dad. But that was the least of his worries at the moment.
"So what are you gonna do when we go back to Jersey?"
"What do you mean?" Nick asked mindlessly, munching on a box of Crunchy Cats.
Joe rolled his eyes. "With Macy? Are you gonna ask her to be your girlfriend or what?"
"Only if you talk to Stella," he said flippantly, his eyes trained on the screen currently playing some terrible Fiona Sky movie that Frankie picked.
Joe narrowed his eyes at him. "Touché, brother."
"Hm," Nick acknowledged, smug that he managed to wiggle his way out of the question. In all honesty, he didn't know what he was going to say to Macy when he saw her. He enjoyed talking to her over the phone, but that was different than talking to someone face to face.
He decided to take it day by day; talk to her normally, maybe drop a few hints and see how she'd respond… they'll cross that bridge when they come to it. He did, after all, have a tour to worry about.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Two, to be exact.
The next thing Macy knew, it was August 29th; the day they - he - would come home. She'd been anticipating the day nervously. Sure, she was fine with talking to him over the phone, but seeing him for the first time since things have obviously… changed… between them…? She didn't even know when things really changed with him. She believed it was somewhere between a conversation about the Dallas Cowboys and Power Rangers; two of the most random topics, but she was happy to encounter this side of him and they'd never laughed harder than in that moment.
But now, she wasn't sure how to react. She wasn't sure how he'd react. What if he saw her and suddenly decided that he didn't want her anymore? What if all of the late-night talks on the phone were just some meaningless distractions from the stressful nights of touring? What if-?
"Macy, there they are!" Stella exclaimed excitedly, swatting her shoulder repeatedly and bouncing on the balls of her feet. The taller girl had her other hand in the air, waving like a maniac. Macy looked ahead and her breathing failed for a moment. Wow, he looks even hotter than he did two months ago, she thought, perplexed at how that was even possible.
She was full of mixed emotions when they all greeted each other after they got off their private jet. She received warm hugs from Joe, even Frankie and Mr. & Mrs. Lucas, and as she pulled away from an overly happy Kevin, she looked past him to see Nick staring at her with a small smile on his face. She bit the inside of her lip discreetly and gave him a tiny wave. She wanted to slap herself in the head. A wave, Macy? Really? She scolded herself. She almost tripped on her own feet when she felt herself being pushed forward; Stella had bumped her and whispered a quick "Go!" But when Macy turned her head to scold her best friend, the girl seemed to be engaged in a full-fledged catch-up session with the two older brothers. She inwardly groaned and turned back in his direction, only to find him standing much closer to her than he was before.
"Hey," he said softly. His hands were both balled up into fists at his sides as he clutched his thumbs inside them, something she noticed he did when he was nervous or excited.
"Hi," she sighed. Sighed. She inwardly scolded herself again but couldn't help the goofy grin on her face as she felt herself being swept up by him in a hug.
"Wow I missed you," he told her. She clutched him back happily and felt all light-headed when he let her go. "Is that weird?" He laughed in a strangled voice.
She managed to find her own voice, replying, "Why, because we've talked everyday, so you shouldn't have had to miss me, or because before this, we were, like, friends… or whatever, and now…?" And now we're what…?
"Yeah," he replied, not really answering her question.
"I don't know. No, no. It's not weird," she said quickly. "Because I missed you, too."
"Cool," he grinned. "So… we should get something to eat… sometime. When you're not coaching or whatever. Or busy at the store."
She held back a giggle. "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"I think so," he laughed, ducking his head. "It's weird… I mean, usually when I like a girl, I'd have a song written and recorded after the first week."
She frowned. "Should I be worried that you don't… have one…?"
He let out a disbelieving laugh. "You should be relieved, actually."
"So you actually do like me, then," she said, needing clarification. Two months of wondering was just too much for her.
He gave her a look. "Well I thought we kind of established that when I started calling you every single night."
She wanted to laugh at how ridiculous their conversation was sounding. "Right. Okay. So, you like me," she said with a nod. He nodded back. "And I like you, and… we're going to dinner, say, this Friday night?"
"I thought I was supposed to be the one asking you out," he smiled.
"I'm just way better with words than you are," she teased.
He shrugged in agreement. "Alright then."
"Alright," a voice said behind them. They turned around in surprise; Macy had almost forgotten that the rest of the family and Stella were there. Kevin was grinning at them with Stella and Joe on either side of him. "Now that these two finally got that out of the way… can we go home? I'm starving."
Agreements were murmured all around and Nick shot Macy a smile, nodding his head before walking off behind the rest of his family.
She smiled, content with everything, and fell into step right there next to him.