writing is rewriting...or so they say

[re_invent]

I decided this song needed a second verse. And with the second verse had to come a second chorus. Easier said than done. Here is my first attempt

Comments

[the_angry_inch]

i personally think "periwinkle" sky would be wayyy better than "enoormous".

i like it a loot.

[mare_vitalis]

sucks=

say
usefull
considerate
kind
suggestions

i think its great...id say leave it..

[re_invent]

i dont know. we'll see. something about sining periwinkle and rainbow in the same song....

[0y]

ok jon i personally really like it...but i cant imagine someone blaring it on the radio trying to sing along...to me it sounds too smart/sophisticated for general listeners. BUT i rreeealllu like it and wouldnt change it if i were you. i was just commenting.

[0y]

really*

i guess i'd be in the general listener category.

[re_invent]

...it sounds too smart/sophisticated for general listeners....

I'll take that as a compliment.

[the_angry_inch]

crap, i finally remebered what band it reminded me of...

john vanderslice

[re_invent]

and i'll take that as a compliment.

[the_angry_inch]

as you should

[pelicanonastick]

"or where the blue sharks lay their heads to sleep"

i have a problem with that line... sharks have to be in constant movement to breathe, even when they sleep..... Dr. Heather

[re_invent]

I remember watching a program on the discovery channel when I was much younger that showed a group of sharks "sleeping" in a cave together. It was this memory that sparked the line "where the blue sharks lay their heads to sleep." I couldn't remember the circumstances/species so I decided to do a little research. Here's what I found (from a couple different online sources

[re_invent]

*technically