Fic: As We Are Wont, 20
Severus,
I dreamt we were cranes, flying. I dreamt there was a moon, round and orange and we flew into it appearing to men below as omens of rich harvests, sheaves of wheat and barley gold on the threshing floor. I dreamt that we flew around the world and it took but a night, then as the stars began to fade we flew home, through the window transforming back into ourselves, my body first from feather to feet and you following. You kissed my neck and caressed my shoulders. We went to a warm bed of white sheets and had sex so slowly, pleasure mounting with the rising sun. You came in the clear light of morning and I saw your eyes dark with pleasure, I saw you skin damp and translucent, I saw your hair retain the texture of night. I dreamt this and woke to find it morning. You were not there. I screamed your name.
I once asked Sibyll to tell me what she saw. Unwise, I know. She looked at me with those glasses of hers, adjusted her shawl and refused. She said my fate belonged to the moon and she didn't dare interfere in Selene's divine province.
We had sex so slowly, it seemed that the sun rose or fell according to our pleasure. It seemed the coming of dawn hinged on our completion, complete union. Hours, Severus. We tasted, and touched, and licked, and loved, for hours. I burned until my entire body was shaking and the only thing I knew was the light, and your name. Strange that Dark creatures should have such dreams of light. I wondered after waking if we could find a ritual that would allow us to stop time, the rise of Dark times and Dark wars, simply by taking pleasure in each other. We could delay the inevitable infinitely and never regret it. As you say-- out of time. We are outside time.
Why is it when I write to you, I never write of the here and now? About werewolf packs and Dumbledore's asinine ideas about their organization-- infiltrating? There is no infiltrating, as though pack were a bureaucracy or chain gang. Pack is, there are no spies. Why don't I tell you about the Weasleys and Molly's endless chatter, why don't I ask you about Harry? I know you always keep an eye on him. Here and now. Somehow, we have agreed not to taint this with the here and now. Let me tell you about Nymphadora. How is Slughorn? You are teaching Defense. In the back of my mind, I know these machinations mean something, must hide some terrible future. Albus. One need only say his name.
I dream, more often than not, that I have lost you. I dream of cold nights when I reach for you and there is only an abyss. The moon rules my fate and there is enough blood in these visions that I fear the future.
When next we meet, Severus, let me stay. Pretend you have overslept. I need to commit your image to memory to pray we'll last the light. I woke to the light of morning and knew-- it's not Darkness we fear, but the swords of revealing light.
Yours,
RJ Lupin