Fic: As We Are Wont, 28
Severus,
Tell me. Please, tell me.
No, you've already looked at me. I know what those scars on your arms mean. When these vows of yours are fulfilled I will make you vow to me that you will never take on another again.
Severus, whatever you hear of me and Dora-- she and I have an agreement. Disregard what's proclaimed to the noise and I will likewise listen for your whispers.
If that was the last time we could meet before this war...
I am shaking.
Don't.
I love you.
Burn this.
Yes, I've done as you've asked.
I'm pretending I will see you again, I'm pretending my memories of you are not tainted with the fear that our meeting was the last time. I am closing my eyes and holding us under roofs and sheets, hid from the clouds and mirrors that drop conspicuous eaves.
Yes.
I'm desperately lying to myself, desperately lying that I'm not desperate. I am calm. This is peace. We are perfect. We are unborn.
I'm holding you in my mind's eye and see that you will do what you must, to the utmost. This, more than anything, sears me and compels me to stay. You believe in strength I've never believed I've had.
This is my test, Severus. You are fulfilling your role. You were tried long ago. This is my test, and I am not certain I will emerge from it.
Love--
Yes.
You said it best. I love, but we have duties to uphold. We were young. The world used that. I have burned all evidence of you to nothing and this is the only thing we've made and owned of our volition, of ourselves.
Love--
This one last time, dream of flight. Before we burn, dream free, then desecrate.
I, being poor, have spread my dreams at your feet. Tread softly, for you tread on my dreams. Tread over, on, into me, and shatter into dust.
Love--
This one last time, say my name, and lean into my touch.
Yours,
Remus