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[readongentle]

My Dad's really sick at the moment. He was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer a year ago but he was sort of okay until a couple of weeks ago. Now it's a total blur of looking after him, dealing with a million types of bureaucracy, talking to my family ... we all kind of screwed up his care a little bit and now my sister and I have to try to

Comments

[dubdobdee]

Was sad to read this and recognised a lot -- we were lucky with dad, he needed 24-hour care but still had his mind more or less to the very end and could stay in his house. He died in Jan, just as my sister and I were beginning to worry about where the money was going to be coming from. Some of the time I felt I was putting time into his admin in order not to pay attention to my own needs; I feel bewildered a lot of the time now. And we miss him of course -- though I think I am glad he went when he did, he had just begun to get confused and to see things, last-stage Parkinsons. I think he was bored and tired and decided to go -- he'd met his grand-daughter, time to be off. So in a way we were lucky.

Anyway all best thoughts and wishes here; and if there's anything you need to talk about ever...

[readongentle]

Thanks for this comment -- I read this today just before I went and visited my Dad and it made me feel happy.

"Some of the time I felt I was putting time into his admin in order not to pay attention to my own needs" ... this is so exactly right. A lot of the time I feel like I'm maybe trying to take control over something that can't be controlled, I mean, avoiding what's really happening by doing a lot of administrative stuff ...