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[saddenedsaint]

[Saga is sitting near the stream at the forest, gazing at the crystalline water that was running calmly and the blue, cleared sky every now and then. Near him is a white cat with a blue and yellow eye wearing a baby pink collar, a tiny bell attached to it rattling as the cat is jumping onto the flowers while chasing a butterfly

Comments

[oliverplus]

[glances at him nervously before quickly turning back to Elektra. he has a healing welt on his temple, but he looks otherwise normal, except that he won't meet Saga's gaze] I...I'm fine now. Nothing to worry about.

Thanks. You know, for all your help.

[saddenedsaint]

[Turns to look at the stream.] It was not your fault... [It's NEVER anyone's fault when it comes to be possessed by something. But... it always depends on the person's strong will to get rid of it... even if the chances of winning are minimum.]

[oliverplus]

[glances at him] That...seems a bit too easy. I mean, it doesn't change what I did. Or the things I said. [sighs, petting Elektra gently]

[saddenedsaint]

[Contemplating the water and throwing more stones into it.]

Sometimes... the anger that resides quietly in our hearts can make us say or feel something that is true. We just... deny it at all costs because we believe we do not mean it.

[oliverplus]

[looks up at him, startled. he remembers what he said in the bar--about how he's spent his whole life worrying about other people and, then at least, he was sick of it] I--I didn't! I like helping others.

[but his attempts to do so have cost him so much. the watch was right in some ways]

[saddenedsaint]

You said it led you to nothing.

[He is not being mean. But... at some point, he thought the same thing, long time ago.]

[oliverplus]

I... [cringes, looking away] It did. All the way to a dead end. I...made some stupid decisions. Long story. I thought... [glances at Saga uncertainly. he'd stop here, but part of him is hoping that Saga, out of everyone, might truly understand] I got so afraid of the darkness in my heart, I thought I had to...stay away forever. To protect everyone else.

I'm still afraid. But I'm trying not to make the same mistake anymore.

[saddenedsaint]

[Those words... it is the same, exact feeling Saga has since he came back to life. It is as if Oliver had voiced his own fears accurately.

Was this the reason why Oliver gets closer to the Gemini, knowing the truth that Mu revealed to him?]

[Just gives Oliver an amused but pained chuckle, without turning to look at him.] ... You and I are so alike... [Maybe said with a bit of nostalgia.]

[oliverplus]

[glances at him, not sure what to say to that. he's relieved, but also uncertain and worried. part of him can't let go of what Mu told him about Saga being a killer. in some ways, it's little comfort to know he's similar. in others...well, it's just good to hear that someone understands] I...thought you might understand.

But I've only seen you help people, Saga.

[saddenedsaint]

You have not killed anyone... not like myself. Not even the same quantity as I did. I know you will never kill someone just because... that is the difference between you and me.

I do not help people only to amend my sins, I help them because I want to. Even if I do not get anything... I will do it.

[Tilts his head, still not looking at Oliver.] Why do you have to expect something in return when you care about them ... Oliver?

[oliverplus]

[shakes his head] I...I've tried to kill before. People I care about. It... [trails off, unable to bring himself to explain]

[looks at Saga in dismay] No, it--it's not like that! I do love helping people. Really! And I don't expect anything from them.

But I...I gave things up. I left my home--my girlfriend. My family. Travelling with the Doctor was always supposed to be temporary. And then... Well, then it all went wrong, and I made him leave me on this little planet. I thought I had to--that I was protecting the people I love. It was a mistake. And if I hadn't found the Plane--met the Doctor again--I would've been stuck there forever.

But now... [sighs] Now I don't know what to do. If I went home, I'm still scared I'd only end up hurting them. That's what I meant. I love helping people, but... [softly] I miss my home. I miss the life I used to have.

[saddenedsaint]

[Listening to Oliver was such a heartache and it was reflected in his eyes, one that the boy couldn't catch a glimpse.

Saga sympathizes with him. He understands what Oliver had to sacrifice just to protect the ones he loved...

He had to do the same thing, only for the sake of the innocent people who lived in Sanctuary. The Gemini wanted to avoid a genocide, one that in the end... was imminent when his evil self took control.]

I... [Trails off a little, trying to find the courage and suitable words to speak.] Killing the Holy Father and taking his place was something I did not want. I wanted to succeed him the right way. I refused to take command, but the evil side inside me was too strong and capable of killing anyone if I did not accept...

[His voice turns a bit shaky.]... I had to live that way for thirteen years, wanting to die by my own hands. It was a tempting desire, but also unattainable...

[oliverplus]

[looks at Saga in surprise] That's...that's horrible, Saga. I mean...[shakes his head, not sure what to say]...really horrible. I'm sorry...

[uncertainly] But...I don't understand. What do you mean? The "evil side" inside you? [his expression is one of curiosity mixed with fear. he can't help wondering if Saga experienced something like the Puppeteer himself. it would certainly explain some things]

[saddenedsaint]

[It was a painful and difficult topic to talk about. First because of the magnitude of his own sins and second because Saga feared that Oliver could stop talking to him for sure. He didn't want to cause horror to anyone, especially to the people he considered his... friends?]

I... [presses his lips a little] I denied the fact that evil existed inside me. I wanted... no, I needed to be an exemplary Saint, for Athena's sake and for my own. But... my jealousy and greed... and my brother's manipulation were the cause of... what led me to do afterwards.

[Instead of relief, the revelation only causes him to feel more guilt and shame.]

[oliverplus]

[is quiet for a moment, taking that in--struggling to understand]

You make it sound like there was...some evil thing inside you. Something else. I mean, other than you. I...still don't think I understand. But you aren't evil. I mean, I can see that.

I... [hesitates, but he thinks it needs to be said if he hopes to make sense of what Saga means] I had something in me once. Not the watch, but...a creature--a parasite. It got in me, and it found the darkness there. And it amplified it. That was--that was when I tried to kill Anna and the Doctor. Do you mean something like that?

[saddenedsaint]

It is more like an identity.

[Finally turns to meet Oliver's eyes. The sadness was visible in his own, more than usual. A crooked smile on his lips.]

I was born with it... and I was aware of that since childhood.