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[formervanguard]

[Here, Plane, have a crying Marta. So much has happened to her lately that she just can't hold it all in anymore. Heck, you'd be upset too, if you thought the love of your life was gone forever, suddenly becoming someone else entirely... And to top it all off, they had been fighting. She never got to say goodbye, she was too stubborn, too angry,

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[pactum]

[Oh goddess, she's crying. Emil lingers at the edge of her awareness. Now that he's finally found her, he's also discovered some information he's not sure he wants to deal with. But he has to. He has to make things right again if they're going to continue on the journey.

She called him a jerk, insensitive-- like he was some kind of soulless murderer. And maybe he wants to believe that sometimes. To be honest, he doesn't care what the hell happens to him after Ratatosk wakes up. He just wants Marta to be safe.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

His steps make some noise as he shuffles toward her. When he speaks, it's in a soft tone familiar to her.]

Marta... Why are you crying? What happened?

[formervanguard]

[That voice... She turns to him, rubbing at her eyes.]

I... Sorry, Em-... [She swallows down a sob.] Sorry, Aster.

[pactum]

[... Oh.]

Don't call me that. [That sounds a little flatter than intended.] ... Silly. I'm Emil, not Aster. I'm from Sylvarant just like you.

That other... guy... isn't even from our world. He's from a different one where Ratatosk woke up already. So don't worry about him. We should focus on what we have to do. [Another pause.] ... But only if you... want to. We can rest here for as long as you need.

[formervanguard]

[She inhales sharply, eyes wide. Emil? Is it really--... No, but she just saw him, and he said his name was Aster! Was that the Plane playing tricks? Is this the Plane playing tricks?

She really, really wants to believe that it's him, it's her Emil, her knight, the one who means the world and everything to her. Her arm stretches out toward him, almost entirely on its own.]

You mean... it's really you?

[pactum]

[A small, nervous smile flickers across his features. He hesitates for a moment, then takes her hand in his.]

Of course it's me. I'm... sorry I was stuck in Ratatosk Mode for so long. You hate me when I'm like that.

[formervanguard]

[It's him. Oh Goddess, it's really him! And of course, she tears up all over again. Holding his hand isn't enough. She quickly closes the distance, throwing her arms around his neck and clinging to him as if letting go would cause him to vanish all over again.

And when he speaks, she winces at the accusation.]

Oh, Emil...! No. I don't hate you. I don't ever hate you! No matter what! That's all I've been trying to tell you, all this time...!

[Yes, "you." Not "him." She knows. Even her tone, through the chokes and the sobs and the sniffles, gives that away.]

[pactum]

[Whoa, back up. ... "You"? She can cling all she wants, but all he can do is blink down at her, somewhat dumbfounded. He was talking about Ratatosk Mode.

And she saw right through it.]

Marta...

[formervanguard]

[Just as she keeps right on clinging, she also keeps right on talking - so much she thought would be left unsaid, and now it's just spilling forward.]

Please, stop thinking that I hate you! You're important to me! And... and I'm sorry! I'm sorry I called you a jerk! And I... I was so scared, I thought you were gone, and...

[She buries her face in his chest and continues to cry.]

[pactum]

[His gaze softens, and slowly, so very slowly, his arms envelop her in warmth.]

I'm here.

[But for how long? If-- no, /when/--Emil breaks down, will all of him go? Will only Aster be left?]

Listen to me. I promised to protect you no matter what. I died and I came back because I still had that promise. Nothing can get in my way. Not this place, not the Vanguard. Not Aster.

I won't stop unless you tell me to leave.

[formervanguard]

[With his arms around her, she finally begins to calm down. The sobbing stops, and though she's still shivering, she's no longer unable to breathe.

She easily leans into his embrace, eyes closed, relaxing.]

Never. I'll never ask that. Please, don't leave...

[pactum]

[There's nothing particularly cuddly about his end of things, but even in his awkwardness there's a sort of comfort to be found.]

I won't.

[If she likes him so much, then what about the other Emil? Does she really love both of them? ... He can't ask her that. He closes his eyes, too, and tries to focus. Her tiny, shivering form is all he can think about. He doesn't want to leave her, not if she'll be this upset. Everything he's steeled himself for, the apathy concerning where he ends up...

He doesn't want to disappear.

He wants to live.]

[formervanguard]

[And she wants him to live, too. All of him. No matter how he's acting, what "mode" he's in... every bit of him is precious to her. All she can do is hope that he sees that now. It's all she feels she can do for him.

She won't be letting go anytime soon, not unless he pulls away first. (Okay, and maybe not even then, it depends.) But after taking a long enough moment to calm down, breathe, and just simply be near to him, she looks up at him, a little confused.]

So... the Aster I spoke to isn't from the same world at all?

[pactum]

[He frowns, but doesn't bite his lip. He's not actually sure if Aster is from the same world or not. Some things just aren't adding up. How can Ratatosk be awake? He's not-- that's why the coward him made a pact with Ratatosk, so that they could go on this journey and restore the balance of mana.

This is so confusing. He doesn't even want to sort it out right now. It'll just get in the way. ... Maybe he is Aster after all, and this is his past self somehow. The truth about things is yet to be known.]

About half the things he said don't make any sense. Until we know what's going on in our world, we can't think about him.

[... even though he is.]

[formervanguard]

[She nods.] Okay. I'll try.

[It's difficult, though. Telling yourself not to think of something never, ever works properly, after all. But, she'll try changing the subject anyway.]

Hey... are you still mad at me?

[pactum]

[Subject changes are okay with him.

He blinks at her again, then looks away. He sounds tired.]

I wasn't mad at you.

[formervanguard]

[At least there's that.]

I thought you would be. For ignoring you, and calling you a jerk.