Holograms 5 & 6

[realitymods]

[The hologram snaps on when Mu asks what Oliver was wondering about Saga and stops on Mu's slip-up over his own telepathy.]

[Almost half a day later, on comes the Doctor and Braxiatel about sins of the past and hopes for the futures.]

Comments

[bit_impossible]

[he's silently watching Oliver react to the second hologram, a neutral expression on his face. he's thought of stopping them, but the hologram played on. so once it's done, he slowly steps towards Oliver, his voice soft when he speaks] Ollie, that was in the past. When I went to Brax for help, remember?

[bit_impossible]

[still keeps that same, calm tone in face of such thick-headedness] Who said you were weak?

[oliverplus]

[lowers his gaze, never able to face up to that Look from the Doctor] The way you made it sound...

[bit_impossible]

Well, maybe that's what you wanted to hear. [he sighs] You hide so much of yourself away these days. Why? Well, I can imagine you don't want to be hurt again, which is completely understandable, but you can't hide behind a fake smile forever.

[oliverplus]

[looks up sharply at that] I--I'm not! I... [sighs] I'm not trying to. It's not always fake! I'm happy, travelling with you again. And seeing my friends here. I'm not faking!

[bit_impossible]

[he smiles faintly] And I'm happy to be travelling with you, but listen to what you just said. "It's not always fake"--meaning there are times when it is. Now, you might not even be conscious of the fact that you're doing it; after all, tell a lie for long enough and it becomes truth to the one telling it. But you are doing it.

[oliverplus]

But... [trails off, frowning. he knows the Doctor is absolutely right. he's been running for a very long time now--so long that even he's surprised to be called out on it--but, deep down, he knows full well that's what he's been doing] It's better than worrying everyone, isn't it? And if I don't think about...everything...then it won't bother me as much, either. I'm not trying to hide! I'd just rather be happy...

[bit_impossible]

[he'll address the rest of that soon, but first:] Are you though? Deep down, are you happy?

[oliverplus]

[his answer is guarded, perhaps making the Doctor's point for him. he doesn't even meet his gaze] I have a lot to be happy about...

[bit_impossible]

[yep, that answers it for him right there] Right, now, can you look at me and say the same thing?

[oliverplus]

[he looks up at him for a moment, his eyes full of mixed emotions but especially reluctance. he sighs and looks back down] I've got more than I should do, after all of it. Travelling with you again, all of my friends--none of it would've happened without the Plane.

[looks up at the Doctor, his gaze almost pleading] Isn't that good enough? I do have a lot to be happy about!

[bit_impossible]

[gently] I think what you ought to be asking yourself is "Why am I asking the Doctor what is good enough for me?". I don't have an answer to that myself. You know what my life is like. Only you know, and if you're not satisfied, you search for what will satisfy you. Pursuit of happiness and all that.

[oliverplus]

[Oliver drops his gaze again. he nods mutely because he does have an answer, but it's not one he's willing to pursue--not yet, at least, or so he keeps telling himself] I'm okay. Really. [the fake smile is automatic]

[bit_impossible]

[he faintly clicks his fingers, making a full-length mirror appear in between him and Oliver, the reflective side facing his friend] Say it again.

[oliverplus]

[Oliver gapes at the suddenly-appearing mirror] Doctor... [the mirror disappears, but Oliver is staring fixedly at his lap all the same]

[softly] Just...let it be.

[bit_impossible]

[steps forward, putting a hand out on Oliver's shoulder] How can I when a good, dear friend is in pain?