There once was a time...
Read this Journal post
Yes, I admit I've been reading that journal but not in a sense of stalking the person, in a sense of checking up on her.
There was a time I would have taken that to heart and been hurt by it but not anymore.
I know what I'm doing with my life, and I know what the real world is like. Reading that, I know that it can not apply to me.
I'm doing what I need to do to have my own life, to be out on my own without help.
I don't mooch off of any friends or any family, in fact, I detest the thought of even asking my parents to pay me back for something that I bought them because they needed it.
I refuse to let myself be a burden because right now I'm doing the best that I can to become what I want to be. My world, my life, all of it is something that I want to be mine completely.
I do not want to be like others I've known that take and take and take everything that I person has to give until there is not a drop left to be had. A person's generosity is not limitless, their devotion is not limitless if they are used like that, and their trust burns up faster than either of those others.
I also do my best not to dish out advice without knowing what the other person has been through, and if I've never been through it myself then I do not give advice on it.
A few of the things that my master and my gods and goddesses have taught me is that to be able to properly give advice you must be able to properly 'wear the other person's shoes' so to speak. My gods and goddesses hate those who give advice without having the ability to understand the other person's position. If they are suffering, and you have never suffered, you can not give advice to the suffering because you can not empathize with them.
Suffer as they have suffered, will suffer, and deserved to suffer, and you will understand better the heart of a man. The better you understand the heart of man, the better advice that you can give to him to help him up from the place he is suffering.
You wouldn't take the hand of a person who gives you aide without knowing anything you've gone through, would you? I wouldn't. I've had people try to give me advice when they don't understand the complexity of my situation... it only makes me angry with them and resist any effort on their part to help me.
The Covenant comes out this Friday!! YES! I'm so going to go and see that, hopefully I can go with Carl. I love going to the movies with him, but I hate going without him, especially if it is a movie that I REALLY want to see. (like this one)
Oh, and I'm becoming increasingly aware of exactly what my abilities are. I'm growing into myself as a person, as a human, as a witch, as an artist... and as a writer. I'm accepting truths about myself that I never thought I had.
I have officially dropped the 'Wiccan' title from what I describe myself as. It has become to long to explain that I am an ecclectic pseudo-wiccan with Shinto tendencies that believes in reincarnation, karma, and at least six different pantheons but only a couple of gods from each... Bast, Shinigami, Druantia, Poseidon, Ra, Anubis... the list goes on.
But the point is not who I believe in, just that I believe in too much to fall into one umbrella category like "Wiccan" Not to mention I've been argued with too many times about Wicca and such and been told that gerald gardner was the all-father one and only creator of Wicca and that his way is law and anyone who doesn't believe that gerald gardner is the sole creator of their ancient religion (the 1800s are ancient?) then they are not real initiates and that you have to be initiated into a coven practicing the gardner tradition to begin learning and you can not in any way shape or form call yourself a "wiccan" unless you are a certified clergy of the gardner tradition of wicca no matter how long you have studied and no matter the fact that your religion is "wiccan". Stupid people like this one have ruined me calling myself a wiccan, I prefer to just go by the simple terms of what I am now...
I AM A WITCH, love me or hate me for telling you this but I use the energies around me and the force of my will to do what is needed and what is required for me to have a better life and for those around me not to suffer as much. I have morals and values and I know right from wrong but I don't need a religion to teach me what that means because I know in my heart that it is right.
Some religious issues that are brought up with relationships one of them is sex, most religions teach that it is wrong to like/want/enjoy sex. I know in my heart that I like it, I want it, I love to do it and I'm not going to some eternal damnation for enjoying what scientists and religious leaders say is the female's only reason for being on this planet. Reproduction. I'm going to enjoy every minute of it because I don't feel fear for my immortal soul over enjoying one of the gifts that the gods gave to all living creatures, the ability to produce offspring.
Oh, and yes I believe in souls. I also believe in things deeper than souls. Things that not all people have, it's the essence of who and what you are. No matter what happens to your body, your mind, or your soul during your life... as long as you have this piece of you, you still survive. This is the innermost layer of your being and it is you completely, everything about you in your personality, the things you like the things you can do... all come from this place inside. No matter how your shell changes, or your gender, this is still there, keeping you essentialy the same person.
LUNCH!!!