Eh? Did I drop off the face of the planet?
Nope... what have I been doing?
Kiddo turned 14 beginning of month. 14. So, party time. Which meant cleaning time. And menu time. I made an entire vegetarian meal for 20 people. All of it. Most of it vegan. Most of it without soy so sister could eat it. Including cake (mango cake with coconut milk frosting). Beer, wine and Hypnotiq are all vegan, whereas white sugar is not. Who knew?
Back to research. Literature review is another name for Hell. And citation analysis? I will assume the plural of tedium is tedia. Tedio? Woe, I have forgotten my Latin. Grammar Boy, where are you when I need you? I could go with the adjective and call it tedious, but it doesn't have the oomph.
Then I stepped on a bee. In the cul-de-sac. On the cement. Yeah, I'm allergic. Why was a bee on the cul-de-sac when there were 7 yards to molest? Sister tells me big fuzzy thing was a carpenter bee. Hurt like hell. Bee died - it got smushed by toddler on tricycle (not on purpose).
OMG yall it was an accident! I didn't mean for it to happen! Please don't sic Stephen Colbert on me... :D
3 Benadryl and a paste of baking soda and water, I was fine. Asleep, but fine.
Until I got heat exhaustion two days later. That kinda sucked. I really need to improve my hydration habits if the weather is going to stay like this much longer. And it will. It always does.
Neighbor boy stole a toy from my house (it was in our office, supposedly off-limits to kiddos; in a bag with other toys meant as gift for cousin's son). Stupid neighbor boy wasn't smart enough to rip open package away from home, so his mom found it and there was much SHAME. He is now banned from house. I hate stuff like this - nobody wins, and everyone ends up feeling upset over it. Except, obviously, the kid who stole shit - he's only pissed 'cause he got caught.
Kiddo got in fight with stupid neighbor boy few days later. He actually hit the guy. With a trash can. WTF? Got himself banned from video games for a few days. How many more weeks until kids go back to school? *whimpers*
Brother is engaged. Getting married next month. Who says never-married, 37 year old men are hopeless bachelors? He even bought her a ring ahead of time. My head spins at the very idea. Yeah, they're going to do the dog-and-pony show. But small. So teacup chihuahua-and-miniature horse show? I want festooned elephants, dammit!
Went out Sunday night with girlfriends to pool hall. I wisely did not attempt pool. Dos Equiis + friends was entertaining enough.
Are we up to today yet? Good. Today was apparently LOOK AT NOBIKI'S COOCH day. Next year I'll send out reminders so you don't forget. Gifts aren't necessary, but I would never be so rude as to refuse.
First, I drove 30 miles north to see a gynecologist for annual pelvic and pap festival. Appointment at 9am, I saw doctor at 10:30, pretty much normal. And whut? I don't understand how this is possible, but she was $40 cheaper than Planned Parenthood. Have I been getting, ummm, fucked all these years? I think so.
Then I drove back home. Hung out for a few hours. Then drove 30 miles south to AIDS clinic for full STD/AIDS screen. Forgot STD screen includes gonnorhea exam, which requires... *SIGH* another speculum and swab. Good thing I washed.
It's over. Hooray. But that means there's a mammogram in my near future. Do not want.
Drove home at 6pm, overheated and poked and prodded and light-headed from blood loss (4 vials). Rush hour is fun like that. I'm pretty sure I scared some people. If you saw a zooming silver hyundai, it was probably me. Technically it wasn't DUI, but it sure felt like it.
Highlight of the day - getting on a real doctor's scale. How can I weigh almost exactly what I weighed pre-pregnancy and still look like dough boy?!? Unfair, I tell you.
Speaking of Naruto... what? We weren't speaking of Naruto? Pfftttt! Catch up! Last chap of manga. Was I the only one thinking of King John and Robin Hood? Will Naruto and Sasuke join forces to defeat the man who has usurped power? The more I read, the more I wonder just how fucking pathetic the rest of the villages are if Konoha is the strongest one...
*tosses pebble at Kishimoto to see if entire manga industry will crash and burn* :D
EOM
Kiddo turned 14 beginning of month. 14. So, party time. Which meant cleaning time. And menu time. I made an entire vegetarian meal for 20 people. All of it. Most of it vegan. Most of it without soy so sister could eat it. Including cake (mango cake with coconut milk frosting). Beer, wine and Hypnotiq are all vegan, whereas white sugar is not. Who knew?
Back to research. Literature review is another name for Hell. And citation analysis? I will assume the plural of tedium is tedia. Tedio? Woe, I have forgotten my Latin. Grammar Boy, where are you when I need you? I could go with the adjective and call it tedious, but it doesn't have the oomph.
Then I stepped on a bee. In the cul-de-sac. On the cement. Yeah, I'm allergic. Why was a bee on the cul-de-sac when there were 7 yards to molest? Sister tells me big fuzzy thing was a carpenter bee. Hurt like hell. Bee died - it got smushed by toddler on tricycle (not on purpose).
OMG yall it was an accident! I didn't mean for it to happen! Please don't sic Stephen Colbert on me... :D
3 Benadryl and a paste of baking soda and water, I was fine. Asleep, but fine.
Until I got heat exhaustion two days later. That kinda sucked. I really need to improve my hydration habits if the weather is going to stay like this much longer. And it will. It always does.
Neighbor boy stole a toy from my house (it was in our office, supposedly off-limits to kiddos; in a bag with other toys meant as gift for cousin's son). Stupid neighbor boy wasn't smart enough to rip open package away from home, so his mom found it and there was much SHAME. He is now banned from house. I hate stuff like this - nobody wins, and everyone ends up feeling upset over it. Except, obviously, the kid who stole shit - he's only pissed 'cause he got caught.
Kiddo got in fight with stupid neighbor boy few days later. He actually hit the guy. With a trash can. WTF? Got himself banned from video games for a few days. How many more weeks until kids go back to school? *whimpers*
Brother is engaged. Getting married next month. Who says never-married, 37 year old men are hopeless bachelors? He even bought her a ring ahead of time. My head spins at the very idea. Yeah, they're going to do the dog-and-pony show. But small. So teacup chihuahua-and-miniature horse show? I want festooned elephants, dammit!
Went out Sunday night with girlfriends to pool hall. I wisely did not attempt pool. Dos Equiis + friends was entertaining enough.
Are we up to today yet? Good. Today was apparently LOOK AT NOBIKI'S COOCH day. Next year I'll send out reminders so you don't forget. Gifts aren't necessary, but I would never be so rude as to refuse.
First, I drove 30 miles north to see a gynecologist for annual pelvic and pap festival. Appointment at 9am, I saw doctor at 10:30, pretty much normal. And whut? I don't understand how this is possible, but she was $40 cheaper than Planned Parenthood. Have I been getting, ummm, fucked all these years? I think so.
Then I drove back home. Hung out for a few hours. Then drove 30 miles south to AIDS clinic for full STD/AIDS screen. Forgot STD screen includes gonnorhea exam, which requires... *SIGH* another speculum and swab. Good thing I washed.
It's over. Hooray. But that means there's a mammogram in my near future. Do not want.
Drove home at 6pm, overheated and poked and prodded and light-headed from blood loss (4 vials). Rush hour is fun like that. I'm pretty sure I scared some people. If you saw a zooming silver hyundai, it was probably me. Technically it wasn't DUI, but it sure felt like it.
Highlight of the day - getting on a real doctor's scale. How can I weigh almost exactly what I weighed pre-pregnancy and still look like dough boy?!? Unfair, I tell you.
Speaking of Naruto... what? We weren't speaking of Naruto? Pfftttt! Catch up! Last chap of manga. Was I the only one thinking of King John and Robin Hood? Will Naruto and Sasuke join forces to defeat the man who has usurped power? The more I read, the more I wonder just how fucking pathetic the rest of the villages are if Konoha is the strongest one...
*tosses pebble at Kishimoto to see if entire manga industry will crash and burn* :D
EOM