Zombies ate my baby's brain...
CAUTION - inappropriate use of humor to gloss over personal tragedy. but it must be done. don't read unless you want to be bummed.
soooooo, this was supposed to be a 'hooray, I'm pregnant and made it out of my first trimester without miscarrying' post, as an update for those of you who knew, and a 'wtf when did this happen' for those of you who didn't.
except things haven't gone as planned.
the good - i'm still pregnant. with twins. puked my way through a horrible first trimester, but it's over. i have over a thousand emails to catch up on because, well, puking and laptops don't mix.
the bad - Anencephaly
it's a form of neural tube defect, like spina bifida. except it's the skull that doesn't form. and the brain along with it (hence the zombie joke). no cerebellum, not much life outside the womb, and what there is, well, persistent vegetative state doesn't sound like life to me.
yeah, i took the folic acid, used a younger donor egg, etc., but reducing risk doesn't erase it. that's why it's a risk.
my specialist told me what the problem was, but stopped there. because apparently being a specialist means you get to tell people in big words what the ultrasound tech could have told me more cheaply. and then get snippy when i ask questions. then ASK ME IF I HAVE ANY QUESTIONS when i finally get the memo that no questions will be answered so go home.
not sure what to do about it yet. options are 1) terminate A and hope B sticks around, 2) wait until A starts causing problems (polyhydramnios, preterm labor, etc.) for B and then terminate, or 3) do nothing and hope for the best. i wasn't given any kind of risk rates, i'm hoping for that when i corner my OB on friday.
and nobody really knows why or how it happens. kinda like autism, another condition with which i have more than a passing familiarity (mom tangent - kiddo will be 15 in june. 15!!! aughhhh!!). a combination of non-sequential genetics and environmental issues.
it sucks.
but it does put that whole developing gestational diabetes again into perspective :D
more updates as i know more. and now that i'm not crawling through nausea most days, i might actually be around once in a while. since, you know, difficult to sleep with HEARTBURN and ACID REFLUX... (waah waah waah, i'm never satisfied)
okay, back to work, ya'll! i get to drag the kiddo to the dentist at 11 to see how many new cavities he's managed to form while i've played truant mommy these past few months.
soooooo, this was supposed to be a 'hooray, I'm pregnant and made it out of my first trimester without miscarrying' post, as an update for those of you who knew, and a 'wtf when did this happen' for those of you who didn't.
except things haven't gone as planned.
the good - i'm still pregnant. with twins. puked my way through a horrible first trimester, but it's over. i have over a thousand emails to catch up on because, well, puking and laptops don't mix.
the bad - Anencephaly
it's a form of neural tube defect, like spina bifida. except it's the skull that doesn't form. and the brain along with it (hence the zombie joke). no cerebellum, not much life outside the womb, and what there is, well, persistent vegetative state doesn't sound like life to me.
yeah, i took the folic acid, used a younger donor egg, etc., but reducing risk doesn't erase it. that's why it's a risk.
my specialist told me what the problem was, but stopped there. because apparently being a specialist means you get to tell people in big words what the ultrasound tech could have told me more cheaply. and then get snippy when i ask questions. then ASK ME IF I HAVE ANY QUESTIONS when i finally get the memo that no questions will be answered so go home.
not sure what to do about it yet. options are 1) terminate A and hope B sticks around, 2) wait until A starts causing problems (polyhydramnios, preterm labor, etc.) for B and then terminate, or 3) do nothing and hope for the best. i wasn't given any kind of risk rates, i'm hoping for that when i corner my OB on friday.
and nobody really knows why or how it happens. kinda like autism, another condition with which i have more than a passing familiarity (mom tangent - kiddo will be 15 in june. 15!!! aughhhh!!). a combination of non-sequential genetics and environmental issues.
it sucks.
but it does put that whole developing gestational diabetes again into perspective :D
more updates as i know more. and now that i'm not crawling through nausea most days, i might actually be around once in a while. since, you know, difficult to sleep with HEARTBURN and ACID REFLUX... (waah waah waah, i'm never satisfied)
okay, back to work, ya'll! i get to drag the kiddo to the dentist at 11 to see how many new cavities he's managed to form while i've played truant mommy these past few months.