FIC: What Genma Heard (Pockyverse)
Title: What Genma Heard
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: GenxRai + Iruka, something like that
Genre: Crack, as in Genny cracks crack and I don’t crackity care…
Rating: R, for innuendo
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does, along with whatever other people/entities are along for the ride.
A/N: This has been floating around in my head for four weeks. I resisted, I really did. It's trite, it's cliché, it's been done before. But it wouldn't leave, so I must torture the rest of you with it. Muahahahaha…ha? Ahem.
Also, no beta, because I am an Easy Rider and I live my life on the Edge (of sanity).
Summary: Genma is taking a nap. Raido and Iruka are being distracting. (please don’t shoot me…)
Genma shifted against the couch, tensing then relaxing when he recognized the voices of the men nearby. Eyes still closed, he tried to fall back to sleep.
"I've never tried it," Iruka answered honestly, his voice curious.
"Really? You should." Raido's voice was soft, cajoling.
"Does it taste okay?"
"Each one is different. I haven't found one I don't like yet."
Genma cracked one eye open, but the men had their backs to him. He shut his eye again quickly when Iruka darted a worried look behind him.
"What about Genma? Won't he mind?"
"He doesn't mind sharing."
Raido gave a strangled cry then. "Don't just shove it in your mouth!" he complained.
"Sorry, sorry. I didn't know there was a special way."
"Of course there's a special way. Trust me, I'm the teacher now."
"Okay, first, move the tip of your tongue around the top a bit."
" 'ike 'is?"
"Good. Now slide your tongue down the sides slowly. You want to get it wet so it will slide in your mouth more easily."
"Now what?" Iruka asked.
"Now just move it around in your mouth until you're done."
"Do I have to put it all in my mouth at once? It's kind of long."
"That's up to you," Raido answered.
Genma could hear the sucking sounds from Iruka. He squirmed a bit on the couch, wishing he could go back to sleep.
"How does it taste?" Raido asked anxiously.
"Uh, kind of weird. I don't think I like it much."
"Hey, let me try yours then."
"Okay. But can you just, you know, not do all that licking and stuff? It seems really perverted."
"But that's the best part, Iruka! Don't look, then. I'm going to enjoy myself whether you like it or not."
"MMMM!"
"Mine tastes better, right?"
"Mm-hmmm," Raido agreed, his mouth full.
"What about Genma's?" Iruka asked.
"Hard to say. I mean, I like it, but I don't know if you will."
Genma jumped up off the couch, surprising the two men in the kitchen. Stalking over to them, he slammed his hand on the table. "Do you have any idea how annoying it is to listen to you two when I'm trying to sleep? Now just EAT your DAMN POCKY!" he shouted, face flushed.
Iruka and Raido stared up at him, long sticks of cookie dangling from their mouths. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Raido asked, his cookie jumping up and down in his mouth as he talked.
Iruka chuckled, pointing at Raido. "You look like Genma with that thing in your mouth."
"Really? Cool." Both men turned to Genma and waggled their cookies. "Here, Genma. We didn't touch yours. Not yet, anyway."
Whirling around, he started into the bathroom. "Since you two won't let me sleep, I'm going to take a shower."
"Okay, I'll start dinner then," Raido answered, biting the now-naked cookie in half. "Iruka's staying for dinner, just so you know."
Genma nodded, leaning against the wall. "What are we having anyway?"
Raido grinned back at him. "Chicken satay on skewers."
Hard lips formed a grim line. "I can't deal with this now." Genma shoved his feet into his sandals and was out the door. "I'm going out for dinner," he growled, slamming the door behind him.
Raido laughed as he sat back down next to Iruka at the table. "You liar. You said we were having beef and bell pepper stir fry."
Raido sagged against the table, rubbing tears out of his eyes. "We are," he answered, still chuckling. "I just couldn't resist teasing him." Iruka finished off the cookie in his mouth, brushing the crumbs off his lips. Raido absently nibbled on a new one, then made a face. "Eewww, you're right. This one is gross. Give me one of yours." Iruka handed over the strawberry-cream cookies, sighing.
"Yeah, the pineapple just doesn't taste right. Too artificial."
[END]
Lagniappe: Because I just couldn't leave it alone. Still R, but edging upward, because sometimes a banana, or Pocky, isn't just a banana, or Pocky.
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Raido leaned over and bumped his shoulder against Iruka's, grinning. "So, you think you've got the hang of it?" Iruka looked away, scratching his scar. "Or do you want to practice on something else, like a carrot?"
"Raido, I..."
Raido put his arm around Iruka's shoulders and brushed his lips against an ear. "You're really cute when you blush," he said gruffly.
Iruka shivered as Raido's lips slid down his neck. "I think...I would rather practice on the real thing," he gasped, his hand pushing against Raido's chest.
Raido laughed softly, pulling Iruka up from his chair. "I think I would prefer that, too," he grinned. "Honestly, I don't think I could watch you molest another cookie." He kissed Iruka gently as he led the way into the bedroom. "You do know you're not supposed to bite, right? It's not Pocky."
"Yes, Raido," Iruka sighed. "I have one too, you know."
[END2]
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Sequel: What Genma Wanted Ch1
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