FIC: What Genma Wanted Ch6 Pt2 (Pockyverse)
Title: What Genma Wanted Ch6 Pt2
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: GenRai + Iruka
Genre: From Crack is born Romance, Angst and some other stuff
Rating: Mostly R, veering into NC17 on occasion
Warnings: Language, innuendo, some sex
Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does, along with whatever other people/entities are along for the ride.
A/N: Nothing happens in this chapter. Nothing. They talk, and they talk, and they talk some more. I'm not trying to bore you to death, I promise, but Iruka won't shut up.
Still no beta. I'm tormenting myself enough as it is.
Summary: Um, still talking. But they're moving into the bedroom now, so the talks get more interesting. Kind of. Plus, Iruka finds out how he got a bite on his wrist.
Dinner was a little tense, Iruka felt, but the food was good. He was careful to talk about non-essential things, often falling silent to listen to the other two bicker about this or that, careful not to get involved. Even when the food was finished, and Iruka offered to clean up while the other two relaxed, he felt uneasy and a little detached. This was supposed to help, he thought, not make it worse. He was waffling, and for the first time, he was waffling between 'let's forget the whole fight-thing ever happened' and 'let's forget the whole we-thing ever happened'. Predictably, he found himself clutching the sink again, digging in his heels because he didn't know which way to go now.
Raido looked at Genma and shook his head. "Not good," he mouthed.
Genma nodded, mouthing back, "He's freaking out again."
Both men were a little drained, and more than a little irritated. Raido was surprised how irritated he was, that Iruka's comments had cut him so deeply. He didn't mean to be controlling, had thought he was doing a good job of easing up. He had to admit, though, his focus had always been on how to keep their relationship from blowing up.
Genma, on the other hand, just wanted the whole thing to be over. Over, done, let's make up and go on with our lives. He was also frustrated because for all that Iruka was talking, Genma could sense how much the younger man wasn't saying.
Finally, Genma had had enough. "Iruka, get your ass out of the kitchen! Now!"
Raido snorted, hastily smothering it with his hand. "What?" he asked Genma when he interecepted a Look. "I thought you wanted me to be the Big Bad from now on?"
Genma sqeezed his eyes shut, counting. He got to five when he heard Iruka leave the kitchen.
"Sit," he said, pointing to the couch next to Raido. He kept counting, in his head, until he felt Iruka brush past him and sit down.
"That's Genma's Scary Face Jutsu," he heard Raido whisper, but he didn't hear Iruka's normal answering laugh.
Opening his eyes, Genma sat down, scooting closer to Iruka until he was practically in the man's lap. "Now, we're going to talk," he said quietly, pointing to himself and Raido. "And you're going to listen. And when we ask you a question, you're going to answer it. Okay?"
Iruka nodded, his eyes wide. He opened his mouth to speak, but he closed it at Genma's warning head shake, releasing his breath shakily.
"What did Aoba tell you?" Genma started. "I mean, everything. Every exact word."
Iruka frowned. It was obviously not the question he was expecting. "Do you want everything that happened, or just what he said?"
"Everything," Raido answered. He hadn't heard the whole story yet anyway, and it would be better to hear it from Iruka than Genma.
So Iruka told them about the waitress, about the apology, about the kissing.
"Did you like it?" Raido asked, because he could tell Genma wanted to know but wouldn't ask.
"No, I didn't like him kissing me. I was freaked out because I didn't know why he was doing it, or what else was going to happen. But I didn't want to lash out, either. Not until I knew why he was doing it."
"But did you like the kiss itself?" Raido pressed.
"Did you respond, Iruka? Did you kiss him back?"
Iruka flushed and looked down, miserable. "Almost," he whispered. "I didn't want to, but...if he hadn't stopped..." He shuddered and hunched up. "I'm sorry. I know I said I didn't want either of you to...and I..." He frowned, his eyes shut, and would have buried his face in his hands to hide the tears gathering in his eyes, but Genma grabbed his hands, pulling Iruka close.
"That's good, Iruka," he murmured, pressing a kiss against Iruka's temple. "That's good. It's normal. You're supposed to react when someone kisses you like that." In his mind, Genma was doing a happy dance - one hidden issue revealed, who knows how more to go.
Raido slid closer, pulling Iruka up into his lap, until the three men were one huddled mass of bodies. "You said you wanted us to be honest, Iruka. When were you going to tell us?"
Iruka shook his head. "I don't know, I don't know. Maybe I was going to when I got back, but then...other things happened. And I felt so bad about it. Not just that, but the whole thing, and everything else he said, and I just wanted it to go away and not be true." He leaned his head against Genma's shoulder, his voice still wavering. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
Genma wanted to kiss Iruka then and there, tell him it wasn't his fault, everything he could to make Iruka see this wasn't a big deal. But he had to wait, because it was a big deal to Iruka and they needed to get everything out before they could start over. So he bit down on his impulse and simply said, "What happened after that?"
He had to reach over and pinch Raido when he saw the man tense up when Iruka told them about the fight. Instead, Raido gripped the sofa arm hard, keeping the rest of his body relaxed. Genma could see the veins rippling on Raido's forearm, his bicep taut, and Genma was reminded again just how physically strong Raido was. It would be a miracle if the couch didn't snap.
Then Iruka told them what Aoba said next, about kissing Genma, about Genma himself, and how Aoba accused Iruka of holding out on them sexually, and now Genma was the one trying to stay relaxed, because if he tensed up, even a little, Iruka would notice. Iruka shuddered again when he got to the part about the fights, and his voice was so small, so soft, Genma had to strain to hear it when Iruka told them what Aoba said, about how it would all be over soon because he thought Iruka had given them what they wanted.
Genma felt the sofa snap the instant before Raido reacted.
"I'm going to kill him," Raido whispered fiercely, and there was no way he could hold back the rage from his voice now. "I am going to fucking kill him." He tried to get up, to push Iruka aside because nobody, NOBODY, could say something that vicious and live.
Genma held onto Iruka, pushing Iruka down into Raido's lap. "Is that all?"
Iruka shook his head, repeating Aoba's final taunt. "And that's why, I think that's why I didn't want to tell you," he said, his voice steadier. "Because if I did, it would be like he was right. And if he was right about that, then..." He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "But then I came here, and found out he was right about the fighting, so..."
Raido tore Iruka away from Genma's grasp, holding him roughly by the shoulders. "Is that what you think?" he growled, shaking Iruka. "After all this time, is that what you think of us? That we're just some twisted predators, using you for sex and when we've had enough, that's it? Is it?"
Iruka was pushing back, struggling, his face a mix of fear and anger. "What was I supposed to think when I got here and found you two fighting? And he was right! And then I find out it was all planned, and you've been hiding all this STUFF from me!" Iruka went limp finally, hanging like a doll between Raido's hands. "What was I supposed to think, Raido?"
---
"I think we need a break," Genma said, standing up. "Iruka, would you go wait in the bedroom for a little bit. Raido and I need to calm down."
Iruka left the room silently, like a ghost.
Genma pulled Raido up from the couch. "Walk. Punch the sofa. Do whatever it takes but you have to calm down."
"How the fuck do I do that? Did you hear what your friend has been telling him?" Raido hissed. "And you knew all of this yesterday?"
"No, not all of it apparently. Aoba conveniently glossed over that last bit." Genma was pacing, shaking his arms and rolling his neck. He found his senbon and started clicking it against his teeth.
Raido stomped across the room and back, kicking the coffee table each time he walked by. "And the worst part is, when he comes to us for the truth, he finds out Aoba told him the truth! And he just sat there, Genma, just sat there and looked at us. And then..."
Raido stopped, his body shaking. "Why, Genma? Why is he still here? Because I can guarantee you, if it had been me, not just me at his age, but me now, I would have left and never looked back."
"That's the thing, Rai. He's still here. And neither of us would be if he weren't." Genma slumped onto the floor in a heap. "Fuck, Raido. What happened? This was supposed to be fun. It wasn't supposed to be serious. And it's serious, you know it is. This is as serious as it gets."
Kneeling on the floor next to Genma, Raido pulled Genma to his chest, ignoring the senbon just a thread away from his heart. "Yeah, it's serious. Iruka told me it was never a game to him. We should have realized, by now at least...he's just not that kind of person."
"Who knew the mature one would turn out to be the youngest?" Genma groaned. "Why couldn't he have been a typical horny 20-year-old, ready and willing with anything that moves?"
They sat there for a few minutes, focusing on each other's heartbeats to calm down. Raido spoke first. "Now what?"
"Part of me wants to end it, right now, because letting this go on is going to hurt." Genma looked up at Raido, his face twisted with emotion. "I like him, Rai. Like, more than I should. And that's only going to get worse."
Raido exhaled noisily, nodding. "I like him too. But, eventually the other people thing..."
"Yeah, that's the problem isn't it? Neither of us are ready to give that up, not forever."
"And Iruka is forever." Raido lay down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. "But if we end it now, like this, is it really going to make a difference? Those feelings...they're already there. And I feel like we owe him, Genma. We're not really friends, not yet. And he always said that's what he wanted, that when this was over he would have two friends. But if it's over..."
"We're all left with nothing but a lifelong ache," Genma finished. "I've done things I'm not proud of, Raido. I've done terrible things. But I can honestly say I regret very few of them, not enough to change them." He leaned over Raido, staring him down. "If it ends like this, tonight, I'll regret it."
---
They found Iruka huddled on the floor at the foot of their bed, asleep with his head on one of their pillows. It was late, after 11pm, but they had to wake him up and continue talking. It had to be tonight, they decided. It had to be, because Iruka could not leave in the morning with any doubts. Not now.
Crouching down next to Iruka, they hoisted him onto the bed, placing him in the center. As Raido retrieved the pillow from the floor, Genma heard a soft gasp. "What?"
Raido merely handed him the pillow. Damp. Fuck. Genma turned it over and put it under Iruka's head before sliding down next to him. Iruka woke up, wide-eyed and a little frantic at finding himself in bed between them. Raido caught one of Iruka's hands, pressing his forehead against the side of Iruka's head while Genma did the same on the other side.
"We suck at being boyfriends," Raido whispered. He pushed him arm under Iruka's pillow, pressing closer. "Really, really suck."
"Sometimes, yeah," Iruka agreed sleepily. "But I still like you."
Genma sighed against Iruka's ear. "We still like you, too. That's why we're willing to give this another shot. For real, this time. No games, no plans, no holding back. Not anymore."
Iruka shuddered, his voice almost a sob. "I'm glad," he said finally. "I was afraid...you were so angry."
"I was angry because you didn't trust me," Raido replied, knowing the comment was directed at him. "But I didn't give you any reason to trust me, did I?" He hugged Iruka tighter.
"Yamashiro," Iruka gasped out, his voice cracking just a little because Raido was squeezing his ribs. "He said this was new to all of us, this kind of relationship, and that we probably made a few mistakes, and we should just leave it at that."
"Crap," Genma groaned. "That means no matter what happens, we can't beat up Aoba."
"When did he say that?" Raido asked, surprised.
Iruka smiled and shifted a little. "While you and Genma were, uh, making up. Because we could hear you, and it was a little weird, so we had to talk about other stuff."
"I bet. Aoba usually makes tracks by then," Genma chuckled. He sighed, rubbing his forehead against Iruka's hair. "Anything else? I mean, you and Aoba talked the whole time, right? You weren't, like, making out in the kitchen or anything?"
Raido smiled when he heard Iruka's shocked gasp.
"Of course not! He just, kind of apologized, and he told me how your fights usually went. And that you've had worse, and they've lasted longer. Is that true?"
"True," Raido whispered. "Very true. What else?"
"He said you don't apologize to each other. You don't talk, like this. Is that true?"
"Sort of true," Genma replied. "We kind of apologize, just not..."
"Laundry," Iruka chuckled, bumping against Genma.
"Yeah, laundry." Genma lifted his head and glared at Raido who stopped sniggering immediately.
"Anything else?" Raido asked tiredly.
Iruka squirmed again. "He told me about make-up sex. I had never heard that term before." He looked over at Raido suddenly. "Is it true you've had sex with him?"
Raido made an odd choking gurgle sound, his eyes going wide. "Lie," he gasped.
"I don't mean with him with him, I mean he was there, and there were other people there, and you were all..."
"Iruka, you know we have sex with women sometimes, right?" Genma asked gently.
"Yeah, that's something you did tell me about."
"Well, sometimes it gets a little more complicated than that. More people involved. And Aoba, when he's there, we usually just trade off partners for a while."
Iruka frowned and sighed. "Honestly, it sounds exhausting." He spoke again, louder over the double laughs in his ears. "And not just a little bit strange. How can you do that? That's the one thing I don't understand. Why would you even want to?"
"Let's finish this Aoba thing first," Genma said evenly.
"He told me you were upset about what you said to me," Iruka said softly. "I think he felt bad for you, Genma."
Genma made a noise Raido recognized as a 'don't ask, I'm not going to talk about it anyway' noise. Unfortunately, Iruka also recognized it.
"He kept saying he was worm slime," Iruka whispered to Raido.
Raido made a noise back, an 'I am going to tease you forever about this' noise.
"Don't tease, Raido. It's kind of sweet," Iruka said gently, rubbing his head against Genma's forehead.
"Yeah, in a wormy, slimy, Genma sort of way," Raido snorted back. He was starting to breathe a little easier now.
Genma grinned against Iruka's hair, reaching over to kick Raido with his leg. "Hey, man, I thought you liked my worm."
"Ick, Genma, that's gross. Don't call it that," Iruka complained, turning to face him.
He pressed his lips against Iruka's, pushing his tongue quickly inside Iruka's mouth before pulling back. "See?" he whispered. "You like it, too."
"So why did you say you agreed with Genma?" Raido shrugged at Genma, because Iruka had already told them not to say 'wuss'. What else could he say?
"Yamashiro asked me if I was. At first, I was still mad, but then I thought about it, and we talked it over. So, we decided I probably am too passive in bed, and maybe you just didn't know how to tell me that, and it just came out when you got mad." Iruka looked over at Genma again. "That's what you meant, right? Because if it's not, you need to tell me what you meant."
Genma found his voice somewhere in the space above the bed. "And if it is?"
"You can tell me that, too. I mean, I told you what I wanted, and you..." Iruka's voice trembled a little bit, and Genma could feel the heat from Iruka's face. "You're allowed to tell me what you want. I can always say 'no', right?"
"Raido," Genma croaked. "Why exactly did I think this conversation would be easier in the bedroom?"
"Fuck me if I know, man. I still don't get why you said it in the first place. The whole threeway was Iruka's idea from the beginning - that's definitely not passive." Raido shivered, remembering. "Fuck, when I think about how you told me, Iruka -"
Genma sat up, his voice sharp. "Raido, wait. Turn on the light first."
"Oh-kay," Raido replied, his voice strained. He released Iruka's hand and rolled over to the nightstand, switching on a small lamp before rolling back. "Anything else, Your Mighty Worminess?"
"Yeah. Tell Iruka how he got that bite on his wrist." Ignoring the worm comment, Genma sat up and stared down at Iruka, a grin firmly in place.
"You know?" Iruka exclaimed, his eyes wide. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
Raido lay down and stared at the ceiling again, hand covering his eyes. "Iruka, how much do you remember after you bit Torao?"
Genma could see Iruka blush now.
"Um, I yelled at him for a while. Then Genma took me outside." Iruka closed his eyes and blushed harder, trying to keep the smile off of his face. "I remember Genma pushed me against a wall because I wanted to go back inside to find you. And I kept trying to get away, so he, uh, kissed me. A lot." He squirmed a little, the blush reaching his chest. "It was nice," he whispered, his breath speeding up just a little. "And then you were there, Raido, and we left. Then we talked about what I wanted, uh, Genma to do." Iruka's voice was barely more than a whisper now and the blush wasn't dissipating at all. "I think you carried me back home because I had a really hot dream."
"What did you dream about?" Genma whispered back.
Iruka opened one eye slightly, slamming it shut when he saw Genma looming over him. "You and Raido having sex," he whispered again. "Against a wall."
Genma looked over at Raido, winking. "I think you should tell him what really happened."
Raido shifted onto his back. "Iruka, do you remember an alley?"
"It's funny, I keep thinking something about an alley," Iruka said honestly. "But it gets all fuzzy."
"Think hard," Raido whispered, deliberately not looking at Genma.
Iruka closed his eyes, trying to follow the threads in his head. Genma watched him closely, on hands and knees, his face just above Iruka's. Suddenly, Iruka gasped, his eyes wide.
"We had sex," he whispered, shaking his head. "In the alley." He gasped again, trying to roll over and bury his face under a pillow.
"Nu-uh," Genma whispered. "You can't hide from this one, Iruka."
"I had sex. In public." Iruka made a small noise, his eyes still closed. "I remember I told Raido, and then..." Shaking his head again, Iruka started to shake. "It was so intense, I...and I kept thinking we shouldn't make so much noise, so I..." He held his hand up, staring at the fading mark on his wrist. "I did that," he whispered.
Iruka kept shaking his head, whispering to himself. "I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I didn't remember."
Genma let himself down gently, covering Iruka's body. "I couldn't believe it, either," he groaned against Iruka's throat, lips trailing along Iruka's jaw. "I looked behind me and you were both gone. And when I got there -" He kissed Iruka, pressing the man's body into the bed.
"It was like a dream. It was so hot, watching Raido do that to you." He rolled off, allowing Raido to take his place.
"It was," Raido agreed. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it."
Iruka shrugged, his mouth working. "I don't know what to say," he admitted finally.
"Are you mad?" Raido asked anxiously.
"I don't know." Iruka sighed, still shaking his head. "I didn't tell you to stop, so I guess I can't be mad. I didn't tell you to stop, did I?"
Raido chuckled, sinking down onto his side next to Iruka again. "Well, I didn't exactly give you a chance. But no, you didn't."
---
Read on to Chapter6 Pt3
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