Well I was going to get a coffee today. I walked by a table and they had free depression screening, I kind of laughed and went to get coffee. On my way out I stopped and filled out the questionare(after this big booming voice in my head screamed "DO IT!!!) Well it turns out that I'm fucked up. I always have been. I don't want to be anymore. It's ( Read more... )

Well yesterday I entered 3 of my sculptures for a regional art show in Cumberland,MD at the Saville Gallery. All 3 got in! Fuckin A! And I found out later I got best use of materials out of all the entries! Fuckin A! My sculpture teacher wanted me to enter this hideous abstract piece of shit that I made in 5 minutes, and told me my "little people" ( Read more... )

Well, it's been a good day so far. Got a 54 on my psyc test, which is a D, but I get to drop my lowest grade, so whatever....lol. Philosophy test only took me about 15 mins, multiple choice and 2 essays, most likely got an A there. Got an excellent review in art class on my flying object peice, hell I even liked it. Now I'm in Math, got 2 chapter ( Read more... )

I am not happy. After all what is happiness. I think it was a dream that I was in for a long time. Why did I have to wake up. Being awake leaves me feeling cold, empty, and very sad. I've been sad for a long time, maybe my entire life. This once again leads me to the point that all my happiness must have been a dream. I want to dream again.Reaper

Well I withdrew for a while, had to work on some "me" stuff. I'm still not exactly sure who "me" is going to turn out to be, but that'll come in time. Had a few good days lately. Now a little trip into the head of the North American James ( Read more... )

Well I'm officially done with LJ. See ya all sometime.

Reaper......

Some aspects of my life lately have been easier to deal with, some aspects still confuse the fuck out of me. I have lots of questions that don't have answers, lots of problems with no soloutions. Life has never been easy, and taking the easy way out of life isn't the answer anymore. Keep living, keep fighting, keep feeling. I'm sure none of this ( Read more... )

Well things are kinda fucked up and beyond my control right now, yet another test. Stress, drama, and heartache, what a fuckin great life. But on better fronts I got my backpeice started and will have it finished in a few weeks. It's a big ass (10" diameter) thick band pentacle with the elements and spirit recognised, also contains a cool Sag ( Read more... )

I feel pretty good today, both inside and out, which is a change for me lately. I keep tellin myself everything will be ok, and I'm startin to feel and believe that. I'm trying to grow, trying to change, and trying to keep the changes active and stick with it. I need to not go back into the old me, because that me was really fucked up. I've asked ( Read more... )

Things are somewhat unstable, but hopefully I'll be able to take some time and work on me. I'm trying not to blame myself for the way my life is looking lately. I think most of my issues revolve around me punishing and alienating myself every time something goes wrong with my relationships or just in my life in general. I'm starting to see that I ( Read more... )