Self Realization...
I was at my moms 50th birthday party today at my aunts house in Oakhills... the weather was nice. and everyone seemed to be having a suitable time, with no arguing.
I sat down and had this converstation with Vanessa my older cousin, we talked about our families lack of communication skills, and not that we are not good at letting each other know when were being bitches, or whos house to go to for the next party, but more like the way we talk to each other is frank, and we drag that onto our lives outside of our family.
First of all we are far to blunt. and when it comes to us showing that were proud of someone or happy for the things they do for us, well that almost doesnt even happen, like were afraid. Afraid of what? I wish I had an easier time doing that. It has helped me to ruin many of my friendships and destroy relationships. I learned that awhile ago and im seriously working on it. I need to not be afraid to tell people how I feel. Not meaning that I want to go give everyone a piece of my mind, not in anyway.
I just want to be able to tell me people that i appreciate them, and that they mean alot to me, and that i love them. cause I know that love is not a word I hear very often from my family. but that doesnt mean that I have to live my life that way.
(Today my aunts suprised me with a bracelet. its got a roach clip at the end, she said she had to buy it for me. they found out i smoked pot and now its kinda like a joke we got going, they really dont mind, they said they just wanted to let me know that theyd always have my back hahaha.)