Timefuckery And You.
Because I'm Lulu's bitch and essaying is apparently the best way to spend your time while students are taking exams.
HOKAY. This essay is mostly comprised of all those little (and not-so-little) things about camp that are currently driving Kallen a bit nuts. These are all the things that have been eating at her mind ever since she arrived! o/
POINT THE FIRST (and probably the most important olol)
Lelouch Doesn't Remember
This was a hard blow for Kallen because she comes from a point in time where the Black Knights just spent a year trying to retrieve their amnesiac leader from the evil clutches of Britannia. Lelouch's memories were heavily tampered with, and most of the order was captured. IT WAS A HARD YEAR FOR HER. So when she arrived to camp and Lelouch started acting like his old self who had "no idea" that Kallen = Karen, she kind of had a minor break down. Later on, she learned that time was all messed up and this... somehow made things a little better, but she was still very much at a loss with the situation in general. Especially because this meant that she wouldn't even be able to talk to her leader about any of her woes because of lulz spoilers. Not to mention, "hahahah wtf, how am I supposed to act nooooow?".
C.C. Doesn't Remember Either
KALLEN WOULD RATHER TURN INTO A PUPPY THAN ADMIT THAT THIS IS SO HIGH UP IN HER LIST OF CONCERNS, but... yes. This is actually a big deal for her. Sob.
It is safe to assume that Kallen and C.C. spent a considerable amount of time together during the time Zero was gone, and C.C. was probably behind a good deal of the planning on how to get him back. I'm not even going to touch on the kind of relationship that they have because that's a different matter altogether, but out of the Geass people currently in camp, C.C. is definitely the one she trusts the most after Zero. So, having her not remember anything either is sort of incredibly frustrating. She has been highly tempted to talk to C.C. about "stuff" but... she doesn't really trust the witch not to manipulate Lelouch tp her convienience using whatever info Kallen tells her about the future, so... sigh. :/
Suzaku Is Not A Hooker McDouchepants
This is another big one because... lulz. After the initial shock of discovering that Zero was Lelouch (which probably took Kallen a few days to get over), Kallen most likely found out that Suzaku had taken Zero to the Emperor, consequently becoming a Knight. And. RAR!!11 dammit Suzaku. After what happened in Kaminejima, Kallen had sort of.. mellowed a bit to Suzaku, if only outside of the battlefield. But then he had to go and ruin it all. :|
A-And now, being in camp with a Suzaku that is still kind of like the way he was in the island, who doesn't have a real reason to fight her, and who is not bitter about SPOILERS, is so weird that she honestly has no idea how to react. Most of the time, she's still all tsuntsun >( around him, but Suzaku being his old self makes her sometimes forget about all the bad shit that happened in her time, and. ._.
The Princesses Are Alive
This... is also all sorts of crazy for Kallen. Once you get used to the idea that all of the people from your world here are from the past, it... kind of makes sense, but it's still creepy as hell.
Now, this is the part where I'm most "????" and have to make a lot of guesswork because canon never told us if Kallen ever found out that Euphie had been geass'd during the Japan massacre or not. Talking to Lelouch, we agreed that she probably didn't know (beyond what Suzaku hinted at in the last episode), because even for Kallen, it would be really hard to forgive Zero for "accidentally" gettng so many innocent Japanese kiled off, BUT. That basically leaves me with a Kallen who doesn't trust Euphie at all.
Now, I knew this was bound to happen when I apped her and there were previous talks eith castmates and stuff. It isn't so much of an issue as a "dammit Sunrise throw me a bone here D|" because I want to stop failing and actually, you know, THREAD WITH EUPHIE. AND THE SAME GOES FOR CORNELIA, though that's easier to handle since Kallen never really interacted with her beyond RAAAR MECHA BATTORU! But yes, I really, really need to thread more with ze princesses.
SO WHERE DOES THIS ALL LEAVE US?
Kallen is... not in a happy place, right now. She's not in a completely miserable state like she was during the first few days, but she still doesn't like what's going on in this place and has no idea of how to cope.
As mentioned before, a part of her is incredibly frustrated because she can't talk to anyone about any of this. But on the other hand... she has started thinking that maybe if she talks to people then maybe, MAYBE, she will be able to change the future and save everyone lots of emo and trauma (I know, I know, o kallen); except she still hasn't figured out what to tell who and how.
The phonecall with Zero eased her mind some because at least now Lelouch knows that yes, she is from the future, and hopefully he will come up with a plan to do something about the situation. ZERO IS SMRT HE CAN TTLY HAND THE SITUATION BETTER THAN HER RITE? rite? ._.
Though she also... doesn't want to spoil him for what is to come because god knows what he'll do once he finds out about Nunnally and Euphie and sooob (IF CANON IS ANYTHING TO GO BY, HILARITY WILL ENSUE, but that's neither here nor there). SO, she's being super-sneaky around Lelouch, and has even considered the idea of playing mindgames of sorts with him in order to prevent him from learning anything about the future.
Another thing that has her feeling all out of place is the fact that. There is! No! Britannia! At least not in this world. And so the Britannians thought it would be a good idea to make a truce and dgjkldfjk. Talking to Azula and Zuko actually helped her realize that... yes, this was convenient for everyone and that she should be happy for it. Then Zero told her not to attack anyone and... okay, yes, she can roll with this! But this means her entire purpose in life is lost and she is left not knowing what to do with herself, or how to feel about anything. TO GIVE UP ON THE REBELLION FOR THE TIME BEING, OR NOT. THAT IS THE QUESTION.
Additionally, there is the whole issue of her two personas. Back home, she'd already discarded Kallen Stadtfeld, the sickly schoolgirl from her life. And all of a sudden, it turns out she has to start pretending again because Lelouch doesn't know she knows he is Zero, and also... Rivalz, and whoever else from Ashford that eventually ends up here.
KALLEN FAILED BIG TIME AT KEEPING HER IDENTITY CONCEALED AT FIRST... but she's getting better. Somewhat. She won't be playing up the meek schoolgirl act except with Lelouch, Rivalz, and anyone she knows who is relatively close to them. But she will keep introducing herself as Kallen Stadtfeld (or just Kallen/Karen) just to avoid further misunderstandings. Especially since Lelouch and Suzaku have so many connections in camp and she doesn't want to make things even crazier.
Of course, I fully expect her farce to go down eventually because Kallen is not exactly the best ninja around, but in the meantime this is how things are being played.
Aaaand... yeah. Lolol I can't believe I just wrote six pages on this, wheeeee. I'm probably forgetting things, so feel free to poke and inquire about anything at all. As you can see, I loev hearing myself type. Oh, Kallen, you such a special snowflake.
HOKAY. This essay is mostly comprised of all those little (and not-so-little) things about camp that are currently driving Kallen a bit nuts. These are all the things that have been eating at her mind ever since she arrived! o/
POINT THE FIRST (and probably the most important olol)
Lelouch Doesn't Remember
This was a hard blow for Kallen because she comes from a point in time where the Black Knights just spent a year trying to retrieve their amnesiac leader from the evil clutches of Britannia. Lelouch's memories were heavily tampered with, and most of the order was captured. IT WAS A HARD YEAR FOR HER. So when she arrived to camp and Lelouch started acting like his old self who had "no idea" that Kallen = Karen, she kind of had a minor break down. Later on, she learned that time was all messed up and this... somehow made things a little better, but she was still very much at a loss with the situation in general. Especially because this meant that she wouldn't even be able to talk to her leader about any of her woes because of lulz spoilers. Not to mention, "hahahah wtf, how am I supposed to act nooooow?".
C.C. Doesn't Remember Either
KALLEN WOULD RATHER TURN INTO A PUPPY THAN ADMIT THAT THIS IS SO HIGH UP IN HER LIST OF CONCERNS, but... yes. This is actually a big deal for her. Sob.
It is safe to assume that Kallen and C.C. spent a considerable amount of time together during the time Zero was gone, and C.C. was probably behind a good deal of the planning on how to get him back. I'm not even going to touch on the kind of relationship that they have because that's a different matter altogether, but out of the Geass people currently in camp, C.C. is definitely the one she trusts the most after Zero. So, having her not remember anything either is sort of incredibly frustrating. She has been highly tempted to talk to C.C. about "stuff" but... she doesn't really trust the witch not to manipulate Lelouch tp her convienience using whatever info Kallen tells her about the future, so... sigh. :/
Suzaku Is Not A Hooker McDouchepants
This is another big one because... lulz. After the initial shock of discovering that Zero was Lelouch (which probably took Kallen a few days to get over), Kallen most likely found out that Suzaku had taken Zero to the Emperor, consequently becoming a Knight. And. RAR!!11 dammit Suzaku. After what happened in Kaminejima, Kallen had sort of.. mellowed a bit to Suzaku, if only outside of the battlefield. But then he had to go and ruin it all. :|
A-And now, being in camp with a Suzaku that is still kind of like the way he was in the island, who doesn't have a real reason to fight her, and who is not bitter about SPOILERS, is so weird that she honestly has no idea how to react. Most of the time, she's still all tsuntsun >( around him, but Suzaku being his old self makes her sometimes forget about all the bad shit that happened in her time, and. ._.
The Princesses Are Alive
This... is also all sorts of crazy for Kallen. Once you get used to the idea that all of the people from your world here are from the past, it... kind of makes sense, but it's still creepy as hell.
Now, this is the part where I'm most "????" and have to make a lot of guesswork because canon never told us if Kallen ever found out that Euphie had been geass'd during the Japan massacre or not. Talking to Lelouch, we agreed that she probably didn't know (beyond what Suzaku hinted at in the last episode), because even for Kallen, it would be really hard to forgive Zero for "accidentally" gettng so many innocent Japanese kiled off, BUT. That basically leaves me with a Kallen who doesn't trust Euphie at all.
Now, I knew this was bound to happen when I apped her and there were previous talks eith castmates and stuff. It isn't so much of an issue as a "dammit Sunrise throw me a bone here D|" because I want to stop failing and actually, you know, THREAD WITH EUPHIE. AND THE SAME GOES FOR CORNELIA, though that's easier to handle since Kallen never really interacted with her beyond RAAAR MECHA BATTORU! But yes, I really, really need to thread more with ze princesses.
SO WHERE DOES THIS ALL LEAVE US?
Kallen is... not in a happy place, right now. She's not in a completely miserable state like she was during the first few days, but she still doesn't like what's going on in this place and has no idea of how to cope.
As mentioned before, a part of her is incredibly frustrated because she can't talk to anyone about any of this. But on the other hand... she has started thinking that maybe if she talks to people then maybe, MAYBE, she will be able to change the future and save everyone lots of emo and trauma (I know, I know, o kallen); except she still hasn't figured out what to tell who and how.
The phonecall with Zero eased her mind some because at least now Lelouch knows that yes, she is from the future, and hopefully he will come up with a plan to do something about the situation. ZERO IS SMRT HE CAN TTLY HAND THE SITUATION BETTER THAN HER RITE? rite? ._.
Though she also... doesn't want to spoil him for what is to come because god knows what he'll do once he finds out about Nunnally and Euphie and sooob (IF CANON IS ANYTHING TO GO BY, HILARITY WILL ENSUE, but that's neither here nor there). SO, she's being super-sneaky around Lelouch, and has even considered the idea of playing mindgames of sorts with him in order to prevent him from learning anything about the future.
Another thing that has her feeling all out of place is the fact that. There is! No! Britannia! At least not in this world. And so the Britannians thought it would be a good idea to make a truce and dgjkldfjk. Talking to Azula and Zuko actually helped her realize that... yes, this was convenient for everyone and that she should be happy for it. Then Zero told her not to attack anyone and... okay, yes, she can roll with this! But this means her entire purpose in life is lost and she is left not knowing what to do with herself, or how to feel about anything. TO GIVE UP ON THE REBELLION FOR THE TIME BEING, OR NOT. THAT IS THE QUESTION.
Additionally, there is the whole issue of her two personas. Back home, she'd already discarded Kallen Stadtfeld, the sickly schoolgirl from her life. And all of a sudden, it turns out she has to start pretending again because Lelouch doesn't know she knows he is Zero, and also... Rivalz, and whoever else from Ashford that eventually ends up here.
KALLEN FAILED BIG TIME AT KEEPING HER IDENTITY CONCEALED AT FIRST... but she's getting better. Somewhat. She won't be playing up the meek schoolgirl act except with Lelouch, Rivalz, and anyone she knows who is relatively close to them. But she will keep introducing herself as Kallen Stadtfeld (or just Kallen/Karen) just to avoid further misunderstandings. Especially since Lelouch and Suzaku have so many connections in camp and she doesn't want to make things even crazier.
Of course, I fully expect her farce to go down eventually because Kallen is not exactly the best ninja around, but in the meantime this is how things are being played.
Aaaand... yeah. Lolol I can't believe I just wrote six pages on this, wheeeee. I'm probably forgetting things, so feel free to poke and inquire about anything at all. As you can see, I loev hearing myself type. Oh, Kallen, you such a special snowflake.