In Production- Part Three (J2) NC-17
Title: In Production
Author: reccea
Artist: waterofthemoon
Genre: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Master Art Post
Master Fic Post
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five and Epilogue
Part Three
The grass in the backyard is low and even, and the hedge has been trimmed back to the point where it isn't poised to attack the rest of the yard. Jared puts his bags in his room and then goes out into the backyard. He kicks off his flip flops and stands in the grass, damp from early morning sprinklers. He closes his eyes and thinks home as hard as he can. Sooner or later, he's sure, it will start to feel like it. He pulls his phone from his pocket, hits two on the speed dial and waits while it rings.
"How long are we supposed to wait until we start talking again?" He asks before there's even a hello.
"Probably after the divorce is finalized," Sandy says in the voice that means she won't hold either of them to that. "But if you don't tell, I won't either."
"Deal." Jared rests his head against the glass, warm with the sunlight. "Thank you for calling the gardener."
In the background, he can hear the familiar sounds of her in the kitchen, the clank of metal against the ceramic. He'd bet that she's baking. He closes his eyes and thinks of the hundred times they've done this. In the past, though, they've been separated by countries or continents not a city. She's a thirty minute drive west that he can't make.
"Don't even worry about it." She brushes it off. "How was Paris?"
“Good,” he says, meaning it. “Got my head clear, you know?”
She hums softly and he can tell she’s smiling. “Yeah, I imagine Paris would be a pretty good distraction.”
He wanders over to his porch and sits down on the steps. He missed her little noises and her smiles. Listening to her familiar, sweet voice he thinks, This will work. “How about you? Had any good distractions this summer?”
She laughs, easy and light, and tells him all about decorating her new place, the role she’s up for, and the puppy she saw at the pet shop.
He looks down at his feet, toes half hidden in the short grass. “A new dog, huh?”
She pauses for a moment and then says, softly, “It’s time, don’t you think?”
He looks out across his spotless backyard and nods. “Yeah. Well past time.”
Jensen leaves him a message halfway through the week, letting Jared know that he’s stopped over in New York for a meeting and won’t be in LA until the week Jared goes back to filming. Jared emails him, ordering that a meal be had sometime that weekend. Jensen emails him back right away, one little line of, “Miss me already?”
And maybe it’s weird, after spending three months in each others’ pockets, but Jared really does.
The read-through of the first episode of the season goes over pretty well. There are a few lines Jared doesn’t like, but it’s solid and tense the whole way through. Allison calls him the first day on set and asks him about Ben’s tan, and Michelle’s new boyfriend. He makes her laugh and asks how she’s doing. It’s not the same as having her on set, of course, but it’s better than nothing. He decides then to call her at least once every other day, to keep her in the loop, and to keep himself from missing her sense of humor too badly.
Jared gets asked not to shave and instead spends a few extra minutes in makeup everyday while the makeup girls get his stubble just right. The whole episode takes place over one day, and his costume and facial hair is constantly altered, and the end of the episode has him looking more run down and dirty than he can remember looking in the whole time he’s been on this show.
The rough cuts of the episode are amazing, and Jared’s pleased with how much of a disaster he looks like through the whole thing. He has a whole season of Jake’s steady decline to look forward to, and he is determined to sell it.
Bob says, “You know, people are going to read a lot into this.”
Jared shrugs, because he’d have to be pretty clueless not to see it, but that doesn’t mean he cares. “It’s my job to worry about my acting. I’ve got a publicist for the rest of it.”
Chad leaves him ten messages in as many days. The first message is simply, "I know you're back in town. Call me, man." The next nine are roughly the same with an increasing number of curses thrown in for good measure. Jared gives in and calls him before the messages become all curses and nothing else.
When Chad answers he doesn't say hi. He says, "The ex broke my watch. Pick me up so we can pick out a new one."
Jared knows better than to ask which ex, just sighs his best long-suffering sigh and says, "I'll be there in a half hour." It's more like an hour, all things told, because it's impossible to get anywhere in LA in that kind of time anymore. Chad is actually waiting for him on the front stoop. He hops and jogs to the car, looking pleased as hell to see Jared.
"Forget where I live?" Chad slams the door shut and, after a pointed look, buckles himself in.
"Well, you keep losing the house in the divorce, so..." The joke feels clumsy but Chad rises to the bait like a good friend.
"One time. And it was an ugly house anyway. Fucking rocks around the pool like sixties Vegas or some shit."
More like sixties Hollywood, Jared doesn't say. The house had been cool but it had been so completely not Chad that it wasn't really worth ragging on him about it. "Whatever, man," he says, turning right once they get out of the gate.
"Head to Rodeo." Chad points in what he must think is the general direction of Rodeo Drive but is not at all. "We need to be seen, man. People think you've offed yourself."
Jared purses his lips and eases over into the next lane. "Great."
Chad looks over at him, bumps the arm that's handling the gear shift. "You're not, right?"
"Right." Jared nods. He is not going to off himself and he's not going to hide forever and he is apparently shopping on Rodeo Drive like someone in desperate need of attention.
"Divorce is hard, man," Chad says with gravity.
Harder, Jared thinks, When she should've been the right girl.
Chad goes into every jewelry store he sees. Jared has to fight flashbacks to the couple of times he's had to tag along on the hunt for the perfect engagement ring, and he's grateful he doesn't have to feign interest in diamond clarity again. He'd taken Jensen when he'd gone shopping for Sandy's ring, and Jensen had been a damn good sport about it. He'd talked with the jewelers, asked specific questions that Jared hadn't thought of, had gotten really into it and seemed excited about it. Even now, Jared's pretty sure Jensen hadn't been faking it.
The third store in, Chad finally gets his mind off the size of wrist bands. "Divorce is a bitch," he says flat out.
"You’d know," Jared says, not unkindly.
"Sad, but true," Chad shrugs. He shakes his head and moves on to the next case. "You get jacked out of your money, your car, some of your friends..."
"Sandy's not jacking me out of anything." He really doesn't want Chad getting the wrong idea.
Chad smacks him on the back. "But, the crappiest thing about getting a divorce? Is you have to rewrite your Oscar speech."
"You've never been nominated for an Oscar." Jared can't stop himself from giving Chad a look. In point of fact, only one of Jared's close friends has been nominated for an Oscar.
"That one," Chad points to the watch. The saleswoman bends down to unlock the case and Chad turns to give Jared his full attention. "Every actor has an Oscar speech in his back pocket."
Jared sure as hell doesn't. He's never been big on tempting fate, and having a thank you list written out feels like a damn good way to ensure never needing one.
"Houses come and go," Chad says like one who knows. "But the people on that list. They're forever. You gotta be fucking sure."
Jared wouldn't normally take Jensen up on his standing offer of 'come over whenever' so soon but going straight back to his place after an afternoon spent trailing Chad feels like going cold turkey. Far too quiet in his own head. Without thinking, he makes a left when he should have made a right, and once he realizes it he just keeps going. Jensen probably has better food anyway.
He parks his car in the driveway, next to Jensen's BMW, and gets out. He doesn't have his keys, and he doesn't have any offerings like food or beer. But it's Jensen, so he jogs up the walkway, knocks out "shave and a haircut," and waits.
Jensen opens the door after a few minutes, squinting in the faint light. His hair is sticking up every which way, and it looks like he hasn't shaved since Jared last saw him. He's wearing a pair of boxers, his glasses, and nothing else. "Jared?"
"Hey." Jared stuffed his hands in his pockets, embarrassed. He really didn't figure on Jensen being asleep in the afternoon.
Jensen smiles, a lazy smirk that reminds Jared sharply of Dean Winchester. He opens the door wider. "You coming in?"
"Yeah." Jared steps off the porch and into the front entryway.
Jensen closes the door after Jared, turns the three locks, and hits the hall light. “Sorry, I’m still jet lagged.”
Jared nearly points out that it’s already been a few days. But Chad’s words are still running a loop through his brain, so he cuts to the chase instead. "Do you keep an Oscar speech in your back pocket?"
Jensen blinks and looks down at his four-leaf clovers boxers that are notably without pockets. He pats the sides anyway and looks back at Jared. "No. I don't."
Jared rolls his shoulders and nods, "Okay, cool."
Jensen scratches the back of his head, sleepy and amused. Jared looks at the muscles in his stomach, more pronounced than they were a few weeks ago. He rubs his face and tries to remember what it was he wanted to say.
Jensen barks out a laugh, claps Jared on the back, and urges him further into the house. "You hung out with Chad, didn't you?"
Jared lets himself be pushed. "How do you always know that? Does he leave a mark or something? Do I have a note taped to my back?"
"Nah," Jensen shakes his head, pushing Jared towards the kitchen. "You just always leave his place looking like you got hit by a semi."
Jared shakes his head, grinning, and sits down on one of the stools around the island. "I'm pretty sure I don't. I think we both know what that looks like."
Jensen rolls his eyes. "You want scrambled eggs or something?"
"I'm not a growing boy anymore," Jared tells him. Not that he was ever really a growing boy in the time they'd known each other. "I don't always need to be fed."
Jensen opens the fridge, digs out the eggs and milk. He looks around the kitchen until he spots the loaf of bread. He smiles big and wide in Jared's direction, his eyes still puffy with sleep. "You'll shut up and eat your French toast."
Jared leans forward, arms on the cool marble, watching as Jensen washes his hands. "Just because I don't need food, doesn't mean I ever say no to it."
Jensen gets out a bowl, cracks four eggs into it. "You gonna tell me about the Oscar speech? Or what Chad said to get you all strung up?"
"He was just..." Jared considers for a moment. "He was just being Chad."
Jensen snorts and pours milk and a few shakes of cinnamon into the bowl. "That explains it."
Jared looks for something to throw at Jensen but comes up empty. "No, he was just trying to help, I mean--" Jared shakes his head and starts over. "He had this stupid theory and I couldn't stop thinking about it."
Jensen waves his hand, a 'go on' gesture, as he reaches for a frying pan from the rack above the island.
"He said every good actor keeps an Oscar speech in his back pocket. So like, the worst thing about getting a divorce is that you have to take it out and rewrite it. I think it was a metaphor for having to adjust your priorities in life or something."
Jensen sets the pan down on the stove and pulls bread out from the bag. “This is Chad we’re talking about, so I don’t think it was a metaphor. He probably actually has a speech in his wallet or something.”
“That’s not fair,” Jared says.
Jensen drops a piece of bread into the bowl, pushing it under the liquid with his fingers. “It totally is. I like the guy but he’s just that kind of douche.”
“He’s a good friend,” Jared feels the need to point out.
Jensen drops a soaked-through piece of bread onto the pan and puts another in the bowl. “Why’re you so worked up about this?”
Jared taps out ‘Ode to Joy’ on the marble top of the island. “I don’t have a speech, you know?”
Jensen turns around, eyes narrowed and mouth a straight line. He takes the three steps to the island and pokes Jared in the forehead with his right index finger, still wet and disgusting from egg and milk. "The Oscar speech is in your head, Jay. You know who you're supposed to thank."
“Hey!” Jared jerks his head back, wiping the gunk off with the back of his hand.
"Besides, you can't take Chad's advice about anything. He's still chasing the barely-legals around the Paramount lot."
It’s a fair point, but Jared refuses to concede. “He’s been divorced three times, so he probably knows what he’s talking about.”
Jensen grabs the spatula and flips the slice of bread over in the pan. “Divorce isn’t something you’re supposed to be good at. And fuck, Jared, you have already got to be better at it than Mayhem. Sandy isn’t talking trash about you to everyone she knows.”
“Okay, true.” Jared wipes at his forehead.
Jensen spatulas out the first piece of toast onto a plate and reaches for the one in the bowl.
Jared makes a face. “You touched my forehead with that finger.”
Jensen rolls his eyes, and turns to wash his hands. “Grab yourself a plate.”
Jared takes the plates to the sink, rinses them off while Jensen gives him the rundown of the movie he’s starting next. Jared’s heard it before, but Jen’s tired enough that he probably doesn’t remember. Jared moves all the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher and tries to decide if he can get Jensen to stay up a while longer. Jared’s not ready to go home yet. He closes the dishwasher and turns around, question on the tip of his tongue.
“Stay the night, Padalecki.” Jensen stands up, shoves him towards the stairs.
Jared smiles so hard it hurts.
There are four guest bathrooms, which is a ridiculous number because Jensen never has a lot of guests outside of the holidays. Jared holds out the pale blue toothbrush. "For me? You shouldn't have."
Jensen squints, slipping his glasses back on. "I think my maid might have left it. She does that. She thinks I get around a lot more than I actually do."
"Humbling,” Jared observes.
Jensen makes a face and shoves Jared back into the bathroom. "It's a personal choice. I can have anyone I want, Jay. I just have taste, unlike your other friends."
"Chad has taste. Not good or appropriate taste, but it's there."
Jensen snorts, but doesn’t deny it.
In the morning Jared drags Jensen out for a run around the neighborhood, laughing at every curse Jensen throws at him.
He slows down to a walk and waits for Jensen to catch up.
Jensen shoots him a dirty look. “Your legs are longer,” he points out, before Jared can mock him for falling behind.
Jared loops a sweaty arm around Jensen’s neck, grinning as Jensen tries to shrug him off. “You know, the older you get, the less you need sleep.”
“I haven’t had any coffee, so you can just fuck off,” Jensen grumbles.
There’s a Coffee Bean around the corner from Jensen’s neighborhood, so instead of heading back up the hill to Jen’s house, Jared walks them through the gate and down the street.
They get their drinks and sit at a small table on the shop patio. It still takes a little while for Jensen to perk up, but Jared has fun telling him the good lines from the first episode. Jensen mocks him for the facial hair--he’s never been a big fan of it on Jared--and Jared throws the mocking right back, because Jensen’s beard is a whole different color from the hair on his head. There’s a lot of material there for Jared to work with. A small crowd begins to gather near their table, people with cameras or slips of paper for autographs. They sign a few, and Jared happily takes the pictures even when Jensen points out that they both look like shit. Jensen throws his empty cup away and manhandles Jared out the door, muttering about phones and paparazzi, but mostly because it’s still well before nine a.m. and he’s a grumpy bitch when he’s tired.
Jared has some clothes stashed at Jensen’s house so he takes a shower when told, and lazes around Jensen’s house in an old pair of jeans and t-shirt that Jensen tells him is an eyesore. They play video games and Jensen lets Jared read the script on his coffee table.
Jared has an early call and lines he hasn’t memorized--or even read--yet, which is the only reason he goes home before nightfall. Jensen tells him not to listen to a word Chad says, and Jared laughs because it’s the same thing Jensen’s been saying for years now, and it’s still probably good advice.
Jared’s picture is all over the rags that week, and his ‘exploits’ written up in the gossip columns. As far as gossip goes, there’s not much beyond a rehash of what’s probably been said all summer long about the divorce. The pictures with Jensen get the most coverage, different angles across different magazines, all with similar headlines. ‘Jensen helps Jared through his heartbreak!’ coupled with old Supernatural era shots and old quotes about their friendship. Jared isn’t surprised at all.
The fact is, Jensen's a bigger star than Jared. They're both high enough up the ladder that it doesn't come up often, and doesn't make much of a difference. But divorce is blood in the water, and going out in public with Chad is like declaring open hunting season. So everywhere Jared goes there are paparazzi, following him into the grocery store, crowding his car, shadowing his every step. The same way they've been following Jensen for years.
“I get the no comment thing,” Jared admits, even though he knows he’ll never be able to keep his mouth shut about being happy.
Jensen follows Jared back into the house, wiping the sweat from his face. “That bad?” He kicks his shoes off in the entryway.
"It's a good thing my new place is in a gated community or I'd be hiding out behind your security walls, let me tell you." Jared opens his fridge to see if there’s anything he can cobble together for lunch.
Jensen smiles behind his water bottle; Jared can see the lines at the edges of his eyes. "Well, you know the security code if you need it."
Jensen starts filming in early October on the Universal lot. His beard is mostly grown out, which is funny to see for a part, and not just because he’s spending a vacation being full-on lazy. He calls Jared a lot, four times a week or more, but he’s on night shoots that bleed into weekends for the first few weeks, so mostly it’s an flurry of voicemails and no face to face time at all.
Jared’s season premiere airs on the second week of October and Jared has an excited voicemail from Jen for every commercial break. His parents only call once, but Jared actually gets to the phone that time and gets to hear their excitement live. He figures they’re all pretty good indicators, so he’s not all that surprised when the public response is through the roof. The show’s gone to deep emotional places before, but his character has always been the stable force behind everything. The general consensus seems to be that stripping Jake bare and making the others step up to the plate has elevated the show to another level.
“Keep this up,” Bob says, “and we might not be the second highest rated program anymore.”
Jared’s character gets a new partner, a case he fails to solve, and a request to move out of the house from his wife. It’s the most draining the show’s ever been on him and Jared spends the time he’s not on set either sleeping or exercising. There’s a little character bleed; there always is when the situations are this intense and the character’s that important to him. Mostly though, what Jared comes away from set feeling is relief. He’s not handling his divorce half as bad as his character is and it’s nice to feel good about his trajectory.
He sends Jensen several messages a day, little anecdotes from set or random thoughts he wants to share. A summer together and Jared feels as in tune with him as when they worked fourteen-hour days together. It feels natural to keep Jensen in the loop for everything, like it’s his life too.
Jared’s parents had given him space over the summer while he got his shit together, but now that he’s back home and working, they call at least twice a week. They never have time for long conversations, Jared’s just too busy and the time difference is enough to make it rough, and he hates it, but he’s used to it. His mama likes to keep him up to date on Megan and Jeff, like she thinks Jared never talks to them, either. His dad likes to talk sports and the latest thing he saw on the news. They both talk about his show, going over the little details they loved, and pretty much every scene he’s in. Jared likes to sit and listen to them, their slow warm voices that make him breathe easy.
He talks to Megan and Jeff each about twice a month. Megan slips once, asks about Sandy without thinking, and then spends a minute cursing and apologizing. He tells her not to be sorry, that it’s okay, that they're still friends, and to prove it he tells her about Sandy’s new dog. Jeff asks how he’s doing and if he’s seeing anyone, but other than that he leaves it all alone. Jared’s pretty grateful to his older brother for that.
Chad text messages him at five o’clock on a Friday night. “You need to go out and rebound, man.”
Jared’s a little offended because he’d given Chad a pretty detailed account of Paris. He sends back, “I did.”
Chad’s reply is immediate. “Once doesn’t count.”
Chad can’t see him but Jared still rolls his eyes. “Okay, seriously.”
His phone rings a few seconds later and Jared turns it on with a heavy sigh. He doesn’t bother to say hello because Chad’s already off and running.
“Seriously. We’re going out. You’re going to get wasted and go home with a girl."
Jared says, "Chad--"
"Or a guy," Chad cuts him off. "I don't care, as long as it's not me or Ackles. You're gonna get laid and you’re gonna feel better in the morning.”
Jared knows a lost cause when he sees one.
Going out with Chad is always a bad idea. Especially when he doesn’t have any back up. They get to the first bar- Jared’s sure it’s going to be only the first of many - and Chad says, “Get my man, here, a drink!”
After that, really, it’s drink after drink, a hired car shuttling them and an ever increasing group of girls from hot spot to hot spot until Chad throws up in the ladies restroom and Jared can’t remember how to get to his own house.
He wakes up because his feet are hanging off the edge of the bed and freezing. He has boxers on, but no shirt, and the blankets aren’t any longer than the bed. It’s not his bed. But at least it’s a familiar bed.
It takes another half hour before he can bear to move his head, and sitting up is about all he can manage at first. He drinks the full glass of water on the nightstand, but his throat still aches with dehydration, so he takes a few minutes to work up the energy to stand.
Jensen is lounging on the couch, watching some documentary with the History logo in the corner. He’s dressed, jeans and button up shirt, which means it’s pretty late in the morning, if it’s morning at all.
He looks up when Jared gets to the bottom of the stairs.
Jared’s a little afraid to ask because he doesn’t remember much of anything beyond the first shot. “How did I get here?”
Jensen smiles like he’s been waiting for it. “You couldn’t remember your address.”
That’s pretty embarrassing, actually. “Wow.”
“It was kind of funny.” Jensen shrugs.
Jared rubs his face and collapses into the recliner. “I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.”
Jensen eyes him. “You didn’t throw up, and you didn’t trash talk like Murray does. You were just kind of....” He trails off with a wave of his hands.
Jared knows exactly what that means. “Gropey.”
“Which is pretty normal for you,” Jensen points out. He mutes the television.
Jared covers his face with his hands.
Jensen kicks his feet up onto the coffee table. “I think I have cereal. Or we could always go out to eat.”
Jared considers the question for less than a second. He swallows tightly. “I hate food.”
Jen stares at him and doesn’t say anything at first. “That has got to be one massive hangover.”
Jared pushes himself slowly out of the chair and stumbles into the kitchen for more water. “I’m going to go back to bed.”
Jensen snickers quietly, but lets Jared go back up the stairs without another word.
When Jared comes downstairs three hours later, Jensen is on the phone in his office, quietly going over contract details. Jared gets more water and finds the saltines from the pantry cupboard. He sits on the couch, taking small bites, and staring at the blank screen of the television.
Jensen comes out from the office and drops down on the couch next to Jared. He slings his arm across the back of the couch, the tip of his thumb hitting Jared’s shoulder. “So what have we learned from this experience?”
Jared bites off another piece of cracker. “Chad is an asshole.”
Jensen taps his shoulder soothingly. “What’s something new we learned from this experience?”
Jared considers this. “I hate tequila.”
Jensen doesn’t say anything in response and Jared admits defeat. “I need to memorize my new address.”
Jensen lets out a surprised laugh. “Yeah, okay, that too.”
Jared sets the crackers down on the table. “I’m not good at rebounding.”
Jensen nods encouragingly, smiling.
Jared sighs and slumps back against the couch. “And alcohol doesn’t solve anything.”
“This is an after school special, I swear.”
Jensen drives him back to his place only after Jared’s eaten honest-to-god food and not thrown it back up. “I don’t trust you to take care of yourself,” he was happy to say. Jared figures Jensen’s been in caretaker mode since that party back in April, and doesn’t expect that’ll change for a while longer.
Jensen walks Jared inside and takes a self guided tour of the place while Jared changes into clean clothes and splashes water on his face. He comes back downstairs and finds Jensen out on the back patio, looking out at the yard.
“Big yard,” Jensen doesn’t turn around.
Jared sits down on the steps, kicking his feet out onto the grass. “I bought it for the security gate and the backyard.” There are hedges high along the wall to keep photographers from getting a decent shot of the house, but that isn’t what he means. The yard is incredibly large, a pool off the right with all the rock work, and waterfall crap that Jared’s never cared too much about. There are plants everywhere and soft grass to the back of the oversized lot. It’s not too busy, just a large open space all his own.
Jensen sits down next to him, right hand braced on the porch behind him. “The gate, the yard, and the vaulted ceilings,” he guesses.
“Tall ceilings never hurt,” Jared agrees. The master bathroom is out of a catalog and the layout is easy to navigate, the rooms all spacious with large windows. Jared likes natural light, likes looking out and seeing the world around him.
“It’s nice,” Jensen tells him. He leans forward, elbows coming to rest on his knees, legs spreading an inch so his calf brushes against Jared’s leg.
Jared looks away from Jensen, nodding in agreement. “Nice enough to get used to,” he says.
Jensen leaves a copy of the Alamo script on his coffee table. All of Bowie’s lines are highlighted. Jared knows the way it goes, expects half the script will be completely different before filming starts, but what he reads is pretty fucking amazing. Bowie’s got that Han Solo-Dean Winchester vibe to him, and Jared’s itching for the part. He’s played straight-laced heroes for the last few years and something different feels like exactly what he needs.
“Are you going to wear a coon-skinned cap?” He calls Jensen just to ask him that.
Jensen snorts. “Sign up and I’ll think about it.”
Jared’s agent negotiates the contract and Jared isn’t even asked for a screen test.
It's going to be a long week filming, and there's pretty much no chance Jared's going to get off set before midnight, so he emails Jensen suggesting breakfast on Saturday. Jensen leaves him a voicemail literally spelling the word brunch, and telling Jared he's crazy if he thinks Jensen's getting out of bed before ten on a Saturday. Jared makes 11:00am reservations for Saturday at this cafe that's off the beaten path and serves breakfast all day long.
"Your character's stupid."
Jensen doesn't look up from the newspaper. Jared kicks his shin lightly. "Hey, Beard-Guy."
Jensen lowers the paper and looks at him with bleary, tired eyes. "Yes?"
"Your character's stupid." Jared pushes the script across the table, barely missing the salt shaker. "Seriously, he's being a complete idiot this whole movie. He loves the girl, but he won't tell her, and he gets everything wrong. And if he'd just said something in the beginning, they could have lived happily ever after, no fuss."
Jensen folds the paper up and puts it over on the seat of the empty chair to his right. "Yeah, I know."
Jared takes another bite of his waffles and waves his hand because Jensen doesn't look like he's going to continue without encouragement.
Jensen picks up his fork and snags a piece of Jared's waffles. "See, the thing is, people? Pretty stupid a lot of the time. And they always make the wrong choices and don't listen and just fuck everything up."
"You are one pessimistic fuck, man." Jared downs half his water.
Jensen rolls his eyes. "I like the character. I like that he's a fuck-up. He's a real guy. How often do we get to play real guys?"
"You know you were on a soap opera once." Jared signals the waitress for a refill.
Jensen picks up his last piece of bacon with his fingers and bites off a third of it. "Don't even, Mr. I Did a Horror Movie with Paris Hilton."
"Death by wax could totally happen."
The waitress tops off both of their coffees. "Anything else I can do for you gentleman?"
"We're good, thank you." Jensen smiles at her.
"Good coffee," Jared offers, his smile wider than Jensen's. The waitress smiles back, a pretty young thing that Chad would have tried to ask out already. She leaves them and Jensen snakes another piece of waffle.
"I like that he's a fuck-up," he says again.
Jared nods, looking out the window to the busy street outside. "I do too. He's still totally fucked though."
"Didn't you hear?" Jensen kicks his shin, a long-delayed retaliation. "Happy endings are so last year."
Jared cups his hot mug, feels it through his fingertips and palms, warming him. "New year's coming though."
He hears Jensen take a breath, but he doesn't say anything. His fingers brush Jared's across the oak table. He takes his own water glass, drains it, and then looks at Jared. "Absolutely."
Jared checks his watch and he still has ten minutes before he should head out. "They sent me the revised Alamo script yesterday. I haven't had a chance to look at it yet."
Jensen puts his fork down amid the ruins of his pancake, teeth to the plate. "I don't want to spoil the ending for you or anything, but they don't win."
"We could screw the Alamo, and do that remake of Butch and Sundance that Dreamworks's been bouncing around."
"And be 'those guys who aren't Redford and Newman'? Thanks but no thanks."
"You upset you're not as cute as Redford?" Jared bats his eyelashes.
Jensen drains his cup. "Fuck you, Newman was the man and you know it."
Jared goes home to Texas for Thanksgiving. It’s chaos, of course, because anytime you get three generations in one house, it’s always chaos. Jared spends most of his time running out in the backyard with his nieces and nephews, throwing footballs and playing tag.
His mother makes him chop the vegetables, like always, and tells him that he looks good.
“I am good,” he tells her. He means it and he can see from the way she relaxes that she can see that.
It’s a good break from filming, short as it is, and he’s energized to get right back into the swing of things.
Jensen went home to his parents for Thanksgiving too, so they trade stories about the Texas weather and the fun of being an uncle.
They have plans to go to a party of Katie’s but when Jared comes to pick Jensen up, he’s not there. Jensen’s car pulls into the drive just as Jared has his phone out to call. Jensen apologizes the minute he’s out of the driver’s seat.
“Liz has a cold so I told her to take the week off and I kind of...” He shrugs as he walks to his trunk.
“Forgot everything?” Jared guesses. He jogs over to help with the groceries Jensen’s pulling from his trunk. Between the two of them it only takes one trip but Jensen almost drops the keys when he tries to unlock the door.
He gets the keys into the lock and gets the door open. “I didn’t have anything to eat. At all. Not even that jar of pickles in the back.”
“You’ve had that jar for a few years. Tell me you didn’t eat them.” Jared kicks the door shut before following Jensen to the kitchen.
“Someone threw them out, thank god, or I might have.” Jensen sets his bags on the counter.
“So you gave in and went to the grocery store.” Jared puts his bags down next to Jensen’s and gets to work unpacking them.
“I wouldn’t have gone if I remembered about the party. They’ll feed us there,” Jensen says.
Jared shakes his head and starts putting the groceries away. “Your week must have been pretty crap, with Liz being sick and all.”
“I’m not completely codependent,” Jensen objects. He tosses a box of cereal at Jared’s head that Jared catches easily. He grabs the frozen goods from the counter and starts replenishing the freezer. "So,” he says, “Sandy invited me to lunch."
"You gonna go?" It's a stupid question because Jensen wouldn't have said anything if he wasn't planning on it.
Jensen puts the milk and the apple juice on the side shelf of the fridge. "I want to."
Jared starts unloading the small bag of canned goods into the farthest cupboard. "You're gonna talk about me the whole time, aren't you?"
Jensen grabs the bag of produce and puts the fruit in the top drawer and the vegetables in the bottom. "She's going to ask how you're really doing. And I'm going to tell her the truth, if you let me."
Jared stares at the graham crackers in his hand, the familiar gold writing embossed on the box. "What're you going to say?"
Jensen's next to him the next moment, a hand clapping him on the shoulder and squeezing tightly. "That you're okay." He says in firmly, like he can make it so. "You are okay."
Jared slides the crackers in next to a half empty bag of rice cakes. "Yeah."
Jensen takes the carrots from the counter near Jared. “You still want to go to this thing?”
Jared pushes the six pack towards him. “Yeah, I do.”
They go to Katie’s party, which turns out to be some charity thing, though Jared can’t remember getting that memo. He’s pretty quiet and Jensen picks up the slack, smiling his best fake smile and telling harmless anecdotes from any number of sets.
When Jared drops him off that night, Jensen pauses one foot out the door and says, “She’s my friend too, but if you don’t want me to go…”
“I want you to go.” Jared squeezes the gear shift.
Jensen sighs and gets all the way out the car. “Call me, okay?”
“Promise.” Jared waits until Jen’s in the house before driving away.
Jared gets a call on the first of December that Allison’s little girl was born healthy and all that. He sends flowers to the house, balloons to the hospital, and remembers to donate to the charity she’d picked out in lieu of a baby shower.
The rest of December passes in a flurry of filming and shopping. He does most of his shopping online, but sometimes he needs to actually see what he’s buying. He makes Chad go to some antique shops with him--he has a lot of fun making antiquing jokes--and finds a camera from the 1920s that he’s pretty sure Jen will drool over.
“You’re spending a lot of time on Ackles’s gift,” Chad mutters.
Jared rolls his eyes. “You’ll get something nice too, jerk.”
He gets Chad a new watch because the one he’s wearing really won’t have a long shelf life, the way things are going. His family and coworkers are easy enough that he’d finished them all by November. Sandy, though, is a problem.
He goes out a few times a week but everything he finds is either too meaningless or too romantic. He’s persistent, but when he’s spent five hours of his Saturday at the mall and isn’t any closer to a solution, he admits defeat and drives over to Jensen’s.
"You know I don't do this with anyone else," Jared says after Jensen’s let him in and gone back to the kitchen where he’d been in the process of making coffee.
Jensen looks up from the coffee pot. He looks around the kitchen and then squarely at Jared. "Okay...."
"Not have coffee," Jared shakes his head and waves his hand, feeling like an idiot but not enough to take it back. "Just show up, you know, not calling first. Sometimes I don't even knock."
Jensen smiles, rolls his eyes, and hands over a full mug. "It's why you have a key and a security code." He pours another mug out, sets it on the counter near Jared.
"Yeah, but even with girlfriends..." Sandy had been different, of course, but there had been so many years of moving that it hadn't been a settled thing. With Jensen it had been pretty immediate, crashing in hotel rooms and keys offered the minute Jared got the deed. He's trying to say something here but the words aren't coming out, not the way he wants them to.
Jensen grabs milk from the fridge, uncaps it and pours some into the mug Jared's holding. He doesn't look at Jared but he nods and he's smiling. He pours milk into his own and says, "Yeah." He gets the box of sugar from the cabinet, sets it down for Jared to grab. "Me either."
Jared puts sugar in his coffee and grabs the bag of muffins from on top of the toaster oven. “You have a bread box,” he points out.
Jensen takes the blueberry muffin from the bag. “Do muffins go in the breadbox?”
“I think anything in the bread family goes into the breadbox.” Jared bites in the chocolate chip muffin and washes it down with coffee that’s actually really good. “New coffee?”
“Got it before I left Paris. I’ve been hoarding it.” Jensen licks muffin crumbs off his thumb. “You like?”
Jared hums agreement as he sips.
“I’m going back for two days in January--the promo tour for Ander’s Wake--I’ll pick up more then.”
“Shit, you’ve got a promo tour?” Jared knew, but he’d lost track of time.
“Yeah, and then pick-ups, so I won’t be back until March.” Jensen has crumbs littered all through his beard and Jared’s not sure if he should laugh or offer up the napkins nearby.
“It premieres in LA the first week of January. The third I think? You going to be in town?”
Jared hands him the napkin, grinning. “Can’t get a date?”
Jensen rolls his eyes and wipes ineffectually at the beard. “You’re mocking me so now you don’t get a choice.”
“You’re not that unattractive for a guy your age,” Jared pats his shoulder gently. “I’m sure you wouldn’t have to pay for an escort.”
Jensen wipes his crumb-covered hand on Jared’s shirt. “You came here for help, right?”
Jared brushes at the crumbs, frowning. “Can’t figure out what to get Sandy for Christmas. There’s not like a guidebook on gifts for the ex you’re still friends with.”
Jensen takes a sip of his coffee and moves away from counter, brows furrowed thoughtfully. They go over the list of options, slim as it is, with Jensen nixing every single one. What they come up with after a solid hour of debate is a spa package.
Jensen says, “It’s not too personal and it’s not something that’ll sit on her mantle and remind her it was her first present from you after the divorce.”
Jared doesn’t like it, but buys it anyway, because he just can’t think of anything else.
Sandy sends him a thank you card, follows it up with game tickets, a basket of homemade cookies, and a phone call.
“I miss you,” he says, just before she hangs up.
“I miss you too, Jared.” She sighs, her voice soft and thready. “Let’s have lunch when you get back, okay? I think we should start working on this friends thing.”
“We are friends,” he says. He takes a bite of one of the cookies and promises to call when he gets back to LA.
He exchanges gifts with Jensen the day before he leaves for Texas. Jensen grills steak out in his backyard because the weather is fantastic and Jared brings the wine. Jensen’s practically giddy over his camera and the film Jared paid even more for. Jensen got Jared an old framed, theatre poster of John Wayne’s Alamo and a plain silver ring for his thumb. Jared knows he’s been fidgeting the last few months, kept trying to spin a ring that wasn’t on his left hand anymore so he understands and appreciates the gesture there.
He takes a red eye to Texas so he can stop at the work holiday party before catching his flight. His brother picks him up from the airport in his new pickup and Jared has just enough energy to ask him all about it on the drive back to their parents’ place. He spends the morning asleep in his old bed, but by midday he’s up and about, getting in everyone’s way and making everyone laugh.
He goes shopping with his dad, because the man has never gotten the hang of early shopping, and plays videogames with his nephews and nieces. He’s not as good as he used to be and he laughs when they rag on him about it.
Jared loves Christmas, loves being with his family, and taking the time away from his normal life. But it’s weird, not being here with Sandy, and setting the table is awkward. But it’s not bad, all things considered.
His dad says, “You’re looking more like yourself JT.”
Jared smiles, “A little more everyday.”
Christmas is insane like always, kids and too much candy and wrapping paper all over the front room. Jared helps his mama pass out the hot cocoa, spikes Megan’s and Jeff’s and their spouses’ with brandy and makes them promise not to rat him out to their parents.
Megan takes her troop back home the day after, hugging Jared tight before she leaves. “Call more,” she orders, same no-nonsense tone she’s had all her life.
He says, “Yes ma’am” before he pokes the ticklish spot on her side and laughs as she jerks and wiggles herself out of his grasp.
Jeff and his family stay a few more days before heading home. He and Jared go out and play pool downtown the night before Jeff leaves. Jeff’s quiet, only asks Jared once how he’s doing and takes Jared’s ‘getting better’ at face value.
Jared takes a cab to the airport, even though his father offered to give him a ride. He hugs his parents, promises to call, and takes the cookies offered him for the flight. His plane gets delayed so he doesn’t fly back into LA until mid-afternoon on the thirty-first. Chad’s waiting for him at baggage claim, wearing stupid sunglasses and a stupider shirt. “We’re meeting Ackles and Kane at Vibe in three hours. So grab your bags and let’s go, bitch.”
They stop at Jared’s place so he can take a shower and grab some decent clothes. Chad yells at him the whole time, which is funny, and they’re only a little late to the club. Jensen and Chris are already in full on party mode. Jensen’s glazed-eyed and rosy-cheeked and loudly happy to see Jared again. Jared gets hugged by Jensen, and then a half dozen others and it seems like its old school night. Rosenbaum’s across the room, standing with Alli and her husband, and Katie’s sitting between Steve and Chris, making a shot glass tower.
By midnight, Jared’s completely shitfaced and manages to kiss everyone, Jensen twice.
He doesn’t wake up until almost dark on the first and doesn’t get out of bed until the second.
“I’m too old for this,” he tells Jensen seriously.
Jensen laughs, it echoes over the phone. “You’re still coming tomorrow, right?”
Jared has to look at a calendar to figure out what ‘tomorrow’ is but he says yes anyway.
“You need to get out more,” Jared tells him, as they pool in line for the red carpet. “Find a real date.”
“Aw, honey.” Jensen slaps his thigh and barely keeps a straight face. “Feeling insecure again?”
“Be careful or I’ll grope you in public again,” Jared warns.
Jensen rolls his eyes, so Jared’s pretty much obliged to do as he promised. They get out of the limo to the thousand bright flashes of cameras. Jensen waves and smiles as he walks ahead. Jared jogs to catch up and when they both stop to pose Jared grabs hold of him, tugging Jensen back against him, shoulder to chest.
He wraps his arms around Jensen, throws his leg up like he used to sometimes, and it is such a mistake. Jensen is angled just right so Jared can feel the solid line of him all the way down, the hard muscle of his arm pressing in to Jared's stomach, the bone of his hip pressing harder even lower. Jensen's knuckles are tucked against the dip of muscle at Jared's hip and all of it feels more real than it ever has.
Jensen is flesh and blood against him. He smells mostly like cologne, one Jared's never used and doesn't know the name of. Underneath it is a musky, familiar scent Jared remembers from long days filming and taking off flannels between scenes. It's a good scent, it makes his body stir, his heart speed up.
It is a perfectly normal outrageous thing that Jared does, groping Jensen like that, but it feels the furthest from familiar that he can name. It is such a mistake but Jensen lets out a startled laugh, like he didn't see it coming, except that he did. Jensen shifts, unbalanced against him, pushing more weight against him, like he'd fall without Jared to keep him up.
Jared's an actor, and it's a good thing too, because he doesn't want to give it up that he's half hard from a few seconds of touch. He mugs for the cameras, pulling out as overblown a smile as he can manage and Jensen laughs himself breathless, body hitching against Jared's the whole time.
Part Four
Author: reccea
Artist: waterofthemoon
Genre: RPS
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Master Art Post
Master Fic Post
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five and Epilogue
Part Three
The grass in the backyard is low and even, and the hedge has been trimmed back to the point where it isn't poised to attack the rest of the yard. Jared puts his bags in his room and then goes out into the backyard. He kicks off his flip flops and stands in the grass, damp from early morning sprinklers. He closes his eyes and thinks home as hard as he can. Sooner or later, he's sure, it will start to feel like it. He pulls his phone from his pocket, hits two on the speed dial and waits while it rings.
"How long are we supposed to wait until we start talking again?" He asks before there's even a hello.
"Probably after the divorce is finalized," Sandy says in the voice that means she won't hold either of them to that. "But if you don't tell, I won't either."
"Deal." Jared rests his head against the glass, warm with the sunlight. "Thank you for calling the gardener."
In the background, he can hear the familiar sounds of her in the kitchen, the clank of metal against the ceramic. He'd bet that she's baking. He closes his eyes and thinks of the hundred times they've done this. In the past, though, they've been separated by countries or continents not a city. She's a thirty minute drive west that he can't make.
"Don't even worry about it." She brushes it off. "How was Paris?"
“Good,” he says, meaning it. “Got my head clear, you know?”
She hums softly and he can tell she’s smiling. “Yeah, I imagine Paris would be a pretty good distraction.”
He wanders over to his porch and sits down on the steps. He missed her little noises and her smiles. Listening to her familiar, sweet voice he thinks, This will work. “How about you? Had any good distractions this summer?”
She laughs, easy and light, and tells him all about decorating her new place, the role she’s up for, and the puppy she saw at the pet shop.
He looks down at his feet, toes half hidden in the short grass. “A new dog, huh?”
She pauses for a moment and then says, softly, “It’s time, don’t you think?”
He looks out across his spotless backyard and nods. “Yeah. Well past time.”
Jensen leaves him a message halfway through the week, letting Jared know that he’s stopped over in New York for a meeting and won’t be in LA until the week Jared goes back to filming. Jared emails him, ordering that a meal be had sometime that weekend. Jensen emails him back right away, one little line of, “Miss me already?”
And maybe it’s weird, after spending three months in each others’ pockets, but Jared really does.
The read-through of the first episode of the season goes over pretty well. There are a few lines Jared doesn’t like, but it’s solid and tense the whole way through. Allison calls him the first day on set and asks him about Ben’s tan, and Michelle’s new boyfriend. He makes her laugh and asks how she’s doing. It’s not the same as having her on set, of course, but it’s better than nothing. He decides then to call her at least once every other day, to keep her in the loop, and to keep himself from missing her sense of humor too badly.
Jared gets asked not to shave and instead spends a few extra minutes in makeup everyday while the makeup girls get his stubble just right. The whole episode takes place over one day, and his costume and facial hair is constantly altered, and the end of the episode has him looking more run down and dirty than he can remember looking in the whole time he’s been on this show.
The rough cuts of the episode are amazing, and Jared’s pleased with how much of a disaster he looks like through the whole thing. He has a whole season of Jake’s steady decline to look forward to, and he is determined to sell it.
Bob says, “You know, people are going to read a lot into this.”
Jared shrugs, because he’d have to be pretty clueless not to see it, but that doesn’t mean he cares. “It’s my job to worry about my acting. I’ve got a publicist for the rest of it.”
Chad leaves him ten messages in as many days. The first message is simply, "I know you're back in town. Call me, man." The next nine are roughly the same with an increasing number of curses thrown in for good measure. Jared gives in and calls him before the messages become all curses and nothing else.
When Chad answers he doesn't say hi. He says, "The ex broke my watch. Pick me up so we can pick out a new one."
Jared knows better than to ask which ex, just sighs his best long-suffering sigh and says, "I'll be there in a half hour." It's more like an hour, all things told, because it's impossible to get anywhere in LA in that kind of time anymore. Chad is actually waiting for him on the front stoop. He hops and jogs to the car, looking pleased as hell to see Jared.
"Forget where I live?" Chad slams the door shut and, after a pointed look, buckles himself in.
"Well, you keep losing the house in the divorce, so..." The joke feels clumsy but Chad rises to the bait like a good friend.
"One time. And it was an ugly house anyway. Fucking rocks around the pool like sixties Vegas or some shit."
More like sixties Hollywood, Jared doesn't say. The house had been cool but it had been so completely not Chad that it wasn't really worth ragging on him about it. "Whatever, man," he says, turning right once they get out of the gate.
"Head to Rodeo." Chad points in what he must think is the general direction of Rodeo Drive but is not at all. "We need to be seen, man. People think you've offed yourself."
Jared purses his lips and eases over into the next lane. "Great."
Chad looks over at him, bumps the arm that's handling the gear shift. "You're not, right?"
"Right." Jared nods. He is not going to off himself and he's not going to hide forever and he is apparently shopping on Rodeo Drive like someone in desperate need of attention.
"Divorce is hard, man," Chad says with gravity.
Harder, Jared thinks, When she should've been the right girl.
Chad goes into every jewelry store he sees. Jared has to fight flashbacks to the couple of times he's had to tag along on the hunt for the perfect engagement ring, and he's grateful he doesn't have to feign interest in diamond clarity again. He'd taken Jensen when he'd gone shopping for Sandy's ring, and Jensen had been a damn good sport about it. He'd talked with the jewelers, asked specific questions that Jared hadn't thought of, had gotten really into it and seemed excited about it. Even now, Jared's pretty sure Jensen hadn't been faking it.
The third store in, Chad finally gets his mind off the size of wrist bands. "Divorce is a bitch," he says flat out.
"You’d know," Jared says, not unkindly.
"Sad, but true," Chad shrugs. He shakes his head and moves on to the next case. "You get jacked out of your money, your car, some of your friends..."
"Sandy's not jacking me out of anything." He really doesn't want Chad getting the wrong idea.
Chad smacks him on the back. "But, the crappiest thing about getting a divorce? Is you have to rewrite your Oscar speech."
"You've never been nominated for an Oscar." Jared can't stop himself from giving Chad a look. In point of fact, only one of Jared's close friends has been nominated for an Oscar.
"That one," Chad points to the watch. The saleswoman bends down to unlock the case and Chad turns to give Jared his full attention. "Every actor has an Oscar speech in his back pocket."
Jared sure as hell doesn't. He's never been big on tempting fate, and having a thank you list written out feels like a damn good way to ensure never needing one.
"Houses come and go," Chad says like one who knows. "But the people on that list. They're forever. You gotta be fucking sure."
Jared wouldn't normally take Jensen up on his standing offer of 'come over whenever' so soon but going straight back to his place after an afternoon spent trailing Chad feels like going cold turkey. Far too quiet in his own head. Without thinking, he makes a left when he should have made a right, and once he realizes it he just keeps going. Jensen probably has better food anyway.
He parks his car in the driveway, next to Jensen's BMW, and gets out. He doesn't have his keys, and he doesn't have any offerings like food or beer. But it's Jensen, so he jogs up the walkway, knocks out "shave and a haircut," and waits.
Jensen opens the door after a few minutes, squinting in the faint light. His hair is sticking up every which way, and it looks like he hasn't shaved since Jared last saw him. He's wearing a pair of boxers, his glasses, and nothing else. "Jared?"
"Hey." Jared stuffed his hands in his pockets, embarrassed. He really didn't figure on Jensen being asleep in the afternoon.
Jensen smiles, a lazy smirk that reminds Jared sharply of Dean Winchester. He opens the door wider. "You coming in?"
"Yeah." Jared steps off the porch and into the front entryway.
Jensen closes the door after Jared, turns the three locks, and hits the hall light. “Sorry, I’m still jet lagged.”
Jared nearly points out that it’s already been a few days. But Chad’s words are still running a loop through his brain, so he cuts to the chase instead. "Do you keep an Oscar speech in your back pocket?"
Jensen blinks and looks down at his four-leaf clovers boxers that are notably without pockets. He pats the sides anyway and looks back at Jared. "No. I don't."
Jared rolls his shoulders and nods, "Okay, cool."
Jensen scratches the back of his head, sleepy and amused. Jared looks at the muscles in his stomach, more pronounced than they were a few weeks ago. He rubs his face and tries to remember what it was he wanted to say.
Jensen barks out a laugh, claps Jared on the back, and urges him further into the house. "You hung out with Chad, didn't you?"
Jared lets himself be pushed. "How do you always know that? Does he leave a mark or something? Do I have a note taped to my back?"
"Nah," Jensen shakes his head, pushing Jared towards the kitchen. "You just always leave his place looking like you got hit by a semi."
Jared shakes his head, grinning, and sits down on one of the stools around the island. "I'm pretty sure I don't. I think we both know what that looks like."
Jensen rolls his eyes. "You want scrambled eggs or something?"
"I'm not a growing boy anymore," Jared tells him. Not that he was ever really a growing boy in the time they'd known each other. "I don't always need to be fed."
Jensen opens the fridge, digs out the eggs and milk. He looks around the kitchen until he spots the loaf of bread. He smiles big and wide in Jared's direction, his eyes still puffy with sleep. "You'll shut up and eat your French toast."
Jared leans forward, arms on the cool marble, watching as Jensen washes his hands. "Just because I don't need food, doesn't mean I ever say no to it."
Jensen gets out a bowl, cracks four eggs into it. "You gonna tell me about the Oscar speech? Or what Chad said to get you all strung up?"
"He was just..." Jared considers for a moment. "He was just being Chad."
Jensen snorts and pours milk and a few shakes of cinnamon into the bowl. "That explains it."
Jared looks for something to throw at Jensen but comes up empty. "No, he was just trying to help, I mean--" Jared shakes his head and starts over. "He had this stupid theory and I couldn't stop thinking about it."
Jensen waves his hand, a 'go on' gesture, as he reaches for a frying pan from the rack above the island.
"He said every good actor keeps an Oscar speech in his back pocket. So like, the worst thing about getting a divorce is that you have to take it out and rewrite it. I think it was a metaphor for having to adjust your priorities in life or something."
Jensen sets the pan down on the stove and pulls bread out from the bag. “This is Chad we’re talking about, so I don’t think it was a metaphor. He probably actually has a speech in his wallet or something.”
“That’s not fair,” Jared says.
Jensen drops a piece of bread into the bowl, pushing it under the liquid with his fingers. “It totally is. I like the guy but he’s just that kind of douche.”
“He’s a good friend,” Jared feels the need to point out.
Jensen drops a soaked-through piece of bread onto the pan and puts another in the bowl. “Why’re you so worked up about this?”
Jared taps out ‘Ode to Joy’ on the marble top of the island. “I don’t have a speech, you know?”
Jensen turns around, eyes narrowed and mouth a straight line. He takes the three steps to the island and pokes Jared in the forehead with his right index finger, still wet and disgusting from egg and milk. "The Oscar speech is in your head, Jay. You know who you're supposed to thank."
“Hey!” Jared jerks his head back, wiping the gunk off with the back of his hand.
"Besides, you can't take Chad's advice about anything. He's still chasing the barely-legals around the Paramount lot."
It’s a fair point, but Jared refuses to concede. “He’s been divorced three times, so he probably knows what he’s talking about.”
Jensen grabs the spatula and flips the slice of bread over in the pan. “Divorce isn’t something you’re supposed to be good at. And fuck, Jared, you have already got to be better at it than Mayhem. Sandy isn’t talking trash about you to everyone she knows.”
“Okay, true.” Jared wipes at his forehead.
Jensen spatulas out the first piece of toast onto a plate and reaches for the one in the bowl.
Jared makes a face. “You touched my forehead with that finger.”
Jensen rolls his eyes, and turns to wash his hands. “Grab yourself a plate.”
Jared takes the plates to the sink, rinses them off while Jensen gives him the rundown of the movie he’s starting next. Jared’s heard it before, but Jen’s tired enough that he probably doesn’t remember. Jared moves all the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher and tries to decide if he can get Jensen to stay up a while longer. Jared’s not ready to go home yet. He closes the dishwasher and turns around, question on the tip of his tongue.
“Stay the night, Padalecki.” Jensen stands up, shoves him towards the stairs.
Jared smiles so hard it hurts.
There are four guest bathrooms, which is a ridiculous number because Jensen never has a lot of guests outside of the holidays. Jared holds out the pale blue toothbrush. "For me? You shouldn't have."
Jensen squints, slipping his glasses back on. "I think my maid might have left it. She does that. She thinks I get around a lot more than I actually do."
"Humbling,” Jared observes.
Jensen makes a face and shoves Jared back into the bathroom. "It's a personal choice. I can have anyone I want, Jay. I just have taste, unlike your other friends."
"Chad has taste. Not good or appropriate taste, but it's there."
Jensen snorts, but doesn’t deny it.
In the morning Jared drags Jensen out for a run around the neighborhood, laughing at every curse Jensen throws at him.
He slows down to a walk and waits for Jensen to catch up.
Jensen shoots him a dirty look. “Your legs are longer,” he points out, before Jared can mock him for falling behind.
Jared loops a sweaty arm around Jensen’s neck, grinning as Jensen tries to shrug him off. “You know, the older you get, the less you need sleep.”
“I haven’t had any coffee, so you can just fuck off,” Jensen grumbles.
There’s a Coffee Bean around the corner from Jensen’s neighborhood, so instead of heading back up the hill to Jen’s house, Jared walks them through the gate and down the street.
They get their drinks and sit at a small table on the shop patio. It still takes a little while for Jensen to perk up, but Jared has fun telling him the good lines from the first episode. Jensen mocks him for the facial hair--he’s never been a big fan of it on Jared--and Jared throws the mocking right back, because Jensen’s beard is a whole different color from the hair on his head. There’s a lot of material there for Jared to work with. A small crowd begins to gather near their table, people with cameras or slips of paper for autographs. They sign a few, and Jared happily takes the pictures even when Jensen points out that they both look like shit. Jensen throws his empty cup away and manhandles Jared out the door, muttering about phones and paparazzi, but mostly because it’s still well before nine a.m. and he’s a grumpy bitch when he’s tired.
Jared has some clothes stashed at Jensen’s house so he takes a shower when told, and lazes around Jensen’s house in an old pair of jeans and t-shirt that Jensen tells him is an eyesore. They play video games and Jensen lets Jared read the script on his coffee table.
Jared has an early call and lines he hasn’t memorized--or even read--yet, which is the only reason he goes home before nightfall. Jensen tells him not to listen to a word Chad says, and Jared laughs because it’s the same thing Jensen’s been saying for years now, and it’s still probably good advice.
Jared’s picture is all over the rags that week, and his ‘exploits’ written up in the gossip columns. As far as gossip goes, there’s not much beyond a rehash of what’s probably been said all summer long about the divorce. The pictures with Jensen get the most coverage, different angles across different magazines, all with similar headlines. ‘Jensen helps Jared through his heartbreak!’ coupled with old Supernatural era shots and old quotes about their friendship. Jared isn’t surprised at all.
The fact is, Jensen's a bigger star than Jared. They're both high enough up the ladder that it doesn't come up often, and doesn't make much of a difference. But divorce is blood in the water, and going out in public with Chad is like declaring open hunting season. So everywhere Jared goes there are paparazzi, following him into the grocery store, crowding his car, shadowing his every step. The same way they've been following Jensen for years.
“I get the no comment thing,” Jared admits, even though he knows he’ll never be able to keep his mouth shut about being happy.
Jensen follows Jared back into the house, wiping the sweat from his face. “That bad?” He kicks his shoes off in the entryway.
"It's a good thing my new place is in a gated community or I'd be hiding out behind your security walls, let me tell you." Jared opens his fridge to see if there’s anything he can cobble together for lunch.
Jensen smiles behind his water bottle; Jared can see the lines at the edges of his eyes. "Well, you know the security code if you need it."
Jensen starts filming in early October on the Universal lot. His beard is mostly grown out, which is funny to see for a part, and not just because he’s spending a vacation being full-on lazy. He calls Jared a lot, four times a week or more, but he’s on night shoots that bleed into weekends for the first few weeks, so mostly it’s an flurry of voicemails and no face to face time at all.
Jared’s season premiere airs on the second week of October and Jared has an excited voicemail from Jen for every commercial break. His parents only call once, but Jared actually gets to the phone that time and gets to hear their excitement live. He figures they’re all pretty good indicators, so he’s not all that surprised when the public response is through the roof. The show’s gone to deep emotional places before, but his character has always been the stable force behind everything. The general consensus seems to be that stripping Jake bare and making the others step up to the plate has elevated the show to another level.
“Keep this up,” Bob says, “and we might not be the second highest rated program anymore.”
Jared’s character gets a new partner, a case he fails to solve, and a request to move out of the house from his wife. It’s the most draining the show’s ever been on him and Jared spends the time he’s not on set either sleeping or exercising. There’s a little character bleed; there always is when the situations are this intense and the character’s that important to him. Mostly though, what Jared comes away from set feeling is relief. He’s not handling his divorce half as bad as his character is and it’s nice to feel good about his trajectory.
He sends Jensen several messages a day, little anecdotes from set or random thoughts he wants to share. A summer together and Jared feels as in tune with him as when they worked fourteen-hour days together. It feels natural to keep Jensen in the loop for everything, like it’s his life too.
Jared’s parents had given him space over the summer while he got his shit together, but now that he’s back home and working, they call at least twice a week. They never have time for long conversations, Jared’s just too busy and the time difference is enough to make it rough, and he hates it, but he’s used to it. His mama likes to keep him up to date on Megan and Jeff, like she thinks Jared never talks to them, either. His dad likes to talk sports and the latest thing he saw on the news. They both talk about his show, going over the little details they loved, and pretty much every scene he’s in. Jared likes to sit and listen to them, their slow warm voices that make him breathe easy.
He talks to Megan and Jeff each about twice a month. Megan slips once, asks about Sandy without thinking, and then spends a minute cursing and apologizing. He tells her not to be sorry, that it’s okay, that they're still friends, and to prove it he tells her about Sandy’s new dog. Jeff asks how he’s doing and if he’s seeing anyone, but other than that he leaves it all alone. Jared’s pretty grateful to his older brother for that.
Chad text messages him at five o’clock on a Friday night. “You need to go out and rebound, man.”
Jared’s a little offended because he’d given Chad a pretty detailed account of Paris. He sends back, “I did.”
Chad’s reply is immediate. “Once doesn’t count.”
Chad can’t see him but Jared still rolls his eyes. “Okay, seriously.”
His phone rings a few seconds later and Jared turns it on with a heavy sigh. He doesn’t bother to say hello because Chad’s already off and running.
“Seriously. We’re going out. You’re going to get wasted and go home with a girl."
Jared says, "Chad--"
"Or a guy," Chad cuts him off. "I don't care, as long as it's not me or Ackles. You're gonna get laid and you’re gonna feel better in the morning.”
Jared knows a lost cause when he sees one.
Going out with Chad is always a bad idea. Especially when he doesn’t have any back up. They get to the first bar- Jared’s sure it’s going to be only the first of many - and Chad says, “Get my man, here, a drink!”
After that, really, it’s drink after drink, a hired car shuttling them and an ever increasing group of girls from hot spot to hot spot until Chad throws up in the ladies restroom and Jared can’t remember how to get to his own house.
He wakes up because his feet are hanging off the edge of the bed and freezing. He has boxers on, but no shirt, and the blankets aren’t any longer than the bed. It’s not his bed. But at least it’s a familiar bed.
It takes another half hour before he can bear to move his head, and sitting up is about all he can manage at first. He drinks the full glass of water on the nightstand, but his throat still aches with dehydration, so he takes a few minutes to work up the energy to stand.
Jensen is lounging on the couch, watching some documentary with the History logo in the corner. He’s dressed, jeans and button up shirt, which means it’s pretty late in the morning, if it’s morning at all.
He looks up when Jared gets to the bottom of the stairs.
Jared’s a little afraid to ask because he doesn’t remember much of anything beyond the first shot. “How did I get here?”
Jensen smiles like he’s been waiting for it. “You couldn’t remember your address.”
That’s pretty embarrassing, actually. “Wow.”
“It was kind of funny.” Jensen shrugs.
Jared rubs his face and collapses into the recliner. “I’m pretty sure it wasn’t.”
Jensen eyes him. “You didn’t throw up, and you didn’t trash talk like Murray does. You were just kind of....” He trails off with a wave of his hands.
Jared knows exactly what that means. “Gropey.”
“Which is pretty normal for you,” Jensen points out. He mutes the television.
Jared covers his face with his hands.
Jensen kicks his feet up onto the coffee table. “I think I have cereal. Or we could always go out to eat.”
Jared considers the question for less than a second. He swallows tightly. “I hate food.”
Jen stares at him and doesn’t say anything at first. “That has got to be one massive hangover.”
Jared pushes himself slowly out of the chair and stumbles into the kitchen for more water. “I’m going to go back to bed.”
Jensen snickers quietly, but lets Jared go back up the stairs without another word.
When Jared comes downstairs three hours later, Jensen is on the phone in his office, quietly going over contract details. Jared gets more water and finds the saltines from the pantry cupboard. He sits on the couch, taking small bites, and staring at the blank screen of the television.
Jensen comes out from the office and drops down on the couch next to Jared. He slings his arm across the back of the couch, the tip of his thumb hitting Jared’s shoulder. “So what have we learned from this experience?”
Jared bites off another piece of cracker. “Chad is an asshole.”
Jensen taps his shoulder soothingly. “What’s something new we learned from this experience?”
Jared considers this. “I hate tequila.”
Jensen doesn’t say anything in response and Jared admits defeat. “I need to memorize my new address.”
Jensen lets out a surprised laugh. “Yeah, okay, that too.”
Jared sets the crackers down on the table. “I’m not good at rebounding.”
Jensen nods encouragingly, smiling.
Jared sighs and slumps back against the couch. “And alcohol doesn’t solve anything.”
“This is an after school special, I swear.”
Jensen drives him back to his place only after Jared’s eaten honest-to-god food and not thrown it back up. “I don’t trust you to take care of yourself,” he was happy to say. Jared figures Jensen’s been in caretaker mode since that party back in April, and doesn’t expect that’ll change for a while longer.
Jensen walks Jared inside and takes a self guided tour of the place while Jared changes into clean clothes and splashes water on his face. He comes back downstairs and finds Jensen out on the back patio, looking out at the yard.
“Big yard,” Jensen doesn’t turn around.
Jared sits down on the steps, kicking his feet out onto the grass. “I bought it for the security gate and the backyard.” There are hedges high along the wall to keep photographers from getting a decent shot of the house, but that isn’t what he means. The yard is incredibly large, a pool off the right with all the rock work, and waterfall crap that Jared’s never cared too much about. There are plants everywhere and soft grass to the back of the oversized lot. It’s not too busy, just a large open space all his own.
Jensen sits down next to him, right hand braced on the porch behind him. “The gate, the yard, and the vaulted ceilings,” he guesses.
“Tall ceilings never hurt,” Jared agrees. The master bathroom is out of a catalog and the layout is easy to navigate, the rooms all spacious with large windows. Jared likes natural light, likes looking out and seeing the world around him.
“It’s nice,” Jensen tells him. He leans forward, elbows coming to rest on his knees, legs spreading an inch so his calf brushes against Jared’s leg.
Jared looks away from Jensen, nodding in agreement. “Nice enough to get used to,” he says.
Jensen leaves a copy of the Alamo script on his coffee table. All of Bowie’s lines are highlighted. Jared knows the way it goes, expects half the script will be completely different before filming starts, but what he reads is pretty fucking amazing. Bowie’s got that Han Solo-Dean Winchester vibe to him, and Jared’s itching for the part. He’s played straight-laced heroes for the last few years and something different feels like exactly what he needs.
“Are you going to wear a coon-skinned cap?” He calls Jensen just to ask him that.
Jensen snorts. “Sign up and I’ll think about it.”
Jared’s agent negotiates the contract and Jared isn’t even asked for a screen test.
It's going to be a long week filming, and there's pretty much no chance Jared's going to get off set before midnight, so he emails Jensen suggesting breakfast on Saturday. Jensen leaves him a voicemail literally spelling the word brunch, and telling Jared he's crazy if he thinks Jensen's getting out of bed before ten on a Saturday. Jared makes 11:00am reservations for Saturday at this cafe that's off the beaten path and serves breakfast all day long.
"Your character's stupid."
Jensen doesn't look up from the newspaper. Jared kicks his shin lightly. "Hey, Beard-Guy."
Jensen lowers the paper and looks at him with bleary, tired eyes. "Yes?"
"Your character's stupid." Jared pushes the script across the table, barely missing the salt shaker. "Seriously, he's being a complete idiot this whole movie. He loves the girl, but he won't tell her, and he gets everything wrong. And if he'd just said something in the beginning, they could have lived happily ever after, no fuss."
Jensen folds the paper up and puts it over on the seat of the empty chair to his right. "Yeah, I know."
Jared takes another bite of his waffles and waves his hand because Jensen doesn't look like he's going to continue without encouragement.
Jensen picks up his fork and snags a piece of Jared's waffles. "See, the thing is, people? Pretty stupid a lot of the time. And they always make the wrong choices and don't listen and just fuck everything up."
"You are one pessimistic fuck, man." Jared downs half his water.
Jensen rolls his eyes. "I like the character. I like that he's a fuck-up. He's a real guy. How often do we get to play real guys?"
"You know you were on a soap opera once." Jared signals the waitress for a refill.
Jensen picks up his last piece of bacon with his fingers and bites off a third of it. "Don't even, Mr. I Did a Horror Movie with Paris Hilton."
"Death by wax could totally happen."
The waitress tops off both of their coffees. "Anything else I can do for you gentleman?"
"We're good, thank you." Jensen smiles at her.
"Good coffee," Jared offers, his smile wider than Jensen's. The waitress smiles back, a pretty young thing that Chad would have tried to ask out already. She leaves them and Jensen snakes another piece of waffle.
"I like that he's a fuck-up," he says again.
Jared nods, looking out the window to the busy street outside. "I do too. He's still totally fucked though."
"Didn't you hear?" Jensen kicks his shin, a long-delayed retaliation. "Happy endings are so last year."
Jared cups his hot mug, feels it through his fingertips and palms, warming him. "New year's coming though."
He hears Jensen take a breath, but he doesn't say anything. His fingers brush Jared's across the oak table. He takes his own water glass, drains it, and then looks at Jared. "Absolutely."
Jared checks his watch and he still has ten minutes before he should head out. "They sent me the revised Alamo script yesterday. I haven't had a chance to look at it yet."
Jensen puts his fork down amid the ruins of his pancake, teeth to the plate. "I don't want to spoil the ending for you or anything, but they don't win."
"We could screw the Alamo, and do that remake of Butch and Sundance that Dreamworks's been bouncing around."
"And be 'those guys who aren't Redford and Newman'? Thanks but no thanks."
"You upset you're not as cute as Redford?" Jared bats his eyelashes.
Jensen drains his cup. "Fuck you, Newman was the man and you know it."
Jared goes home to Texas for Thanksgiving. It’s chaos, of course, because anytime you get three generations in one house, it’s always chaos. Jared spends most of his time running out in the backyard with his nieces and nephews, throwing footballs and playing tag.
His mother makes him chop the vegetables, like always, and tells him that he looks good.
“I am good,” he tells her. He means it and he can see from the way she relaxes that she can see that.
It’s a good break from filming, short as it is, and he’s energized to get right back into the swing of things.
Jensen went home to his parents for Thanksgiving too, so they trade stories about the Texas weather and the fun of being an uncle.
They have plans to go to a party of Katie’s but when Jared comes to pick Jensen up, he’s not there. Jensen’s car pulls into the drive just as Jared has his phone out to call. Jensen apologizes the minute he’s out of the driver’s seat.
“Liz has a cold so I told her to take the week off and I kind of...” He shrugs as he walks to his trunk.
“Forgot everything?” Jared guesses. He jogs over to help with the groceries Jensen’s pulling from his trunk. Between the two of them it only takes one trip but Jensen almost drops the keys when he tries to unlock the door.
He gets the keys into the lock and gets the door open. “I didn’t have anything to eat. At all. Not even that jar of pickles in the back.”
“You’ve had that jar for a few years. Tell me you didn’t eat them.” Jared kicks the door shut before following Jensen to the kitchen.
“Someone threw them out, thank god, or I might have.” Jensen sets his bags on the counter.
“So you gave in and went to the grocery store.” Jared puts his bags down next to Jensen’s and gets to work unpacking them.
“I wouldn’t have gone if I remembered about the party. They’ll feed us there,” Jensen says.
Jared shakes his head and starts putting the groceries away. “Your week must have been pretty crap, with Liz being sick and all.”
“I’m not completely codependent,” Jensen objects. He tosses a box of cereal at Jared’s head that Jared catches easily. He grabs the frozen goods from the counter and starts replenishing the freezer. "So,” he says, “Sandy invited me to lunch."
"You gonna go?" It's a stupid question because Jensen wouldn't have said anything if he wasn't planning on it.
Jensen puts the milk and the apple juice on the side shelf of the fridge. "I want to."
Jared starts unloading the small bag of canned goods into the farthest cupboard. "You're gonna talk about me the whole time, aren't you?"
Jensen grabs the bag of produce and puts the fruit in the top drawer and the vegetables in the bottom. "She's going to ask how you're really doing. And I'm going to tell her the truth, if you let me."
Jared stares at the graham crackers in his hand, the familiar gold writing embossed on the box. "What're you going to say?"
Jensen's next to him the next moment, a hand clapping him on the shoulder and squeezing tightly. "That you're okay." He says in firmly, like he can make it so. "You are okay."
Jared slides the crackers in next to a half empty bag of rice cakes. "Yeah."
Jensen takes the carrots from the counter near Jared. “You still want to go to this thing?”
Jared pushes the six pack towards him. “Yeah, I do.”
They go to Katie’s party, which turns out to be some charity thing, though Jared can’t remember getting that memo. He’s pretty quiet and Jensen picks up the slack, smiling his best fake smile and telling harmless anecdotes from any number of sets.
When Jared drops him off that night, Jensen pauses one foot out the door and says, “She’s my friend too, but if you don’t want me to go…”
“I want you to go.” Jared squeezes the gear shift.
Jensen sighs and gets all the way out the car. “Call me, okay?”
“Promise.” Jared waits until Jen’s in the house before driving away.
Jared gets a call on the first of December that Allison’s little girl was born healthy and all that. He sends flowers to the house, balloons to the hospital, and remembers to donate to the charity she’d picked out in lieu of a baby shower.
The rest of December passes in a flurry of filming and shopping. He does most of his shopping online, but sometimes he needs to actually see what he’s buying. He makes Chad go to some antique shops with him--he has a lot of fun making antiquing jokes--and finds a camera from the 1920s that he’s pretty sure Jen will drool over.
“You’re spending a lot of time on Ackles’s gift,” Chad mutters.
Jared rolls his eyes. “You’ll get something nice too, jerk.”
He gets Chad a new watch because the one he’s wearing really won’t have a long shelf life, the way things are going. His family and coworkers are easy enough that he’d finished them all by November. Sandy, though, is a problem.
He goes out a few times a week but everything he finds is either too meaningless or too romantic. He’s persistent, but when he’s spent five hours of his Saturday at the mall and isn’t any closer to a solution, he admits defeat and drives over to Jensen’s.
"You know I don't do this with anyone else," Jared says after Jensen’s let him in and gone back to the kitchen where he’d been in the process of making coffee.
Jensen looks up from the coffee pot. He looks around the kitchen and then squarely at Jared. "Okay...."
"Not have coffee," Jared shakes his head and waves his hand, feeling like an idiot but not enough to take it back. "Just show up, you know, not calling first. Sometimes I don't even knock."
Jensen smiles, rolls his eyes, and hands over a full mug. "It's why you have a key and a security code." He pours another mug out, sets it on the counter near Jared.
"Yeah, but even with girlfriends..." Sandy had been different, of course, but there had been so many years of moving that it hadn't been a settled thing. With Jensen it had been pretty immediate, crashing in hotel rooms and keys offered the minute Jared got the deed. He's trying to say something here but the words aren't coming out, not the way he wants them to.
Jensen grabs milk from the fridge, uncaps it and pours some into the mug Jared's holding. He doesn't look at Jared but he nods and he's smiling. He pours milk into his own and says, "Yeah." He gets the box of sugar from the cabinet, sets it down for Jared to grab. "Me either."
Jared puts sugar in his coffee and grabs the bag of muffins from on top of the toaster oven. “You have a bread box,” he points out.
Jensen takes the blueberry muffin from the bag. “Do muffins go in the breadbox?”
“I think anything in the bread family goes into the breadbox.” Jared bites in the chocolate chip muffin and washes it down with coffee that’s actually really good. “New coffee?”
“Got it before I left Paris. I’ve been hoarding it.” Jensen licks muffin crumbs off his thumb. “You like?”
Jared hums agreement as he sips.
“I’m going back for two days in January--the promo tour for Ander’s Wake--I’ll pick up more then.”
“Shit, you’ve got a promo tour?” Jared knew, but he’d lost track of time.
“Yeah, and then pick-ups, so I won’t be back until March.” Jensen has crumbs littered all through his beard and Jared’s not sure if he should laugh or offer up the napkins nearby.
“It premieres in LA the first week of January. The third I think? You going to be in town?”
Jared hands him the napkin, grinning. “Can’t get a date?”
Jensen rolls his eyes and wipes ineffectually at the beard. “You’re mocking me so now you don’t get a choice.”
“You’re not that unattractive for a guy your age,” Jared pats his shoulder gently. “I’m sure you wouldn’t have to pay for an escort.”
Jensen wipes his crumb-covered hand on Jared’s shirt. “You came here for help, right?”
Jared brushes at the crumbs, frowning. “Can’t figure out what to get Sandy for Christmas. There’s not like a guidebook on gifts for the ex you’re still friends with.”
Jensen takes a sip of his coffee and moves away from counter, brows furrowed thoughtfully. They go over the list of options, slim as it is, with Jensen nixing every single one. What they come up with after a solid hour of debate is a spa package.
Jensen says, “It’s not too personal and it’s not something that’ll sit on her mantle and remind her it was her first present from you after the divorce.”
Jared doesn’t like it, but buys it anyway, because he just can’t think of anything else.
Sandy sends him a thank you card, follows it up with game tickets, a basket of homemade cookies, and a phone call.
“I miss you,” he says, just before she hangs up.
“I miss you too, Jared.” She sighs, her voice soft and thready. “Let’s have lunch when you get back, okay? I think we should start working on this friends thing.”
“We are friends,” he says. He takes a bite of one of the cookies and promises to call when he gets back to LA.
He exchanges gifts with Jensen the day before he leaves for Texas. Jensen grills steak out in his backyard because the weather is fantastic and Jared brings the wine. Jensen’s practically giddy over his camera and the film Jared paid even more for. Jensen got Jared an old framed, theatre poster of John Wayne’s Alamo and a plain silver ring for his thumb. Jared knows he’s been fidgeting the last few months, kept trying to spin a ring that wasn’t on his left hand anymore so he understands and appreciates the gesture there.
He takes a red eye to Texas so he can stop at the work holiday party before catching his flight. His brother picks him up from the airport in his new pickup and Jared has just enough energy to ask him all about it on the drive back to their parents’ place. He spends the morning asleep in his old bed, but by midday he’s up and about, getting in everyone’s way and making everyone laugh.
He goes shopping with his dad, because the man has never gotten the hang of early shopping, and plays videogames with his nephews and nieces. He’s not as good as he used to be and he laughs when they rag on him about it.
Jared loves Christmas, loves being with his family, and taking the time away from his normal life. But it’s weird, not being here with Sandy, and setting the table is awkward. But it’s not bad, all things considered.
His dad says, “You’re looking more like yourself JT.”
Jared smiles, “A little more everyday.”
Christmas is insane like always, kids and too much candy and wrapping paper all over the front room. Jared helps his mama pass out the hot cocoa, spikes Megan’s and Jeff’s and their spouses’ with brandy and makes them promise not to rat him out to their parents.
Megan takes her troop back home the day after, hugging Jared tight before she leaves. “Call more,” she orders, same no-nonsense tone she’s had all her life.
He says, “Yes ma’am” before he pokes the ticklish spot on her side and laughs as she jerks and wiggles herself out of his grasp.
Jeff and his family stay a few more days before heading home. He and Jared go out and play pool downtown the night before Jeff leaves. Jeff’s quiet, only asks Jared once how he’s doing and takes Jared’s ‘getting better’ at face value.
Jared takes a cab to the airport, even though his father offered to give him a ride. He hugs his parents, promises to call, and takes the cookies offered him for the flight. His plane gets delayed so he doesn’t fly back into LA until mid-afternoon on the thirty-first. Chad’s waiting for him at baggage claim, wearing stupid sunglasses and a stupider shirt. “We’re meeting Ackles and Kane at Vibe in three hours. So grab your bags and let’s go, bitch.”
They stop at Jared’s place so he can take a shower and grab some decent clothes. Chad yells at him the whole time, which is funny, and they’re only a little late to the club. Jensen and Chris are already in full on party mode. Jensen’s glazed-eyed and rosy-cheeked and loudly happy to see Jared again. Jared gets hugged by Jensen, and then a half dozen others and it seems like its old school night. Rosenbaum’s across the room, standing with Alli and her husband, and Katie’s sitting between Steve and Chris, making a shot glass tower.
By midnight, Jared’s completely shitfaced and manages to kiss everyone, Jensen twice.
He doesn’t wake up until almost dark on the first and doesn’t get out of bed until the second.
“I’m too old for this,” he tells Jensen seriously.
Jensen laughs, it echoes over the phone. “You’re still coming tomorrow, right?”
Jared has to look at a calendar to figure out what ‘tomorrow’ is but he says yes anyway.
“You need to get out more,” Jared tells him, as they pool in line for the red carpet. “Find a real date.”
“Aw, honey.” Jensen slaps his thigh and barely keeps a straight face. “Feeling insecure again?”
“Be careful or I’ll grope you in public again,” Jared warns.
Jensen rolls his eyes, so Jared’s pretty much obliged to do as he promised. They get out of the limo to the thousand bright flashes of cameras. Jensen waves and smiles as he walks ahead. Jared jogs to catch up and when they both stop to pose Jared grabs hold of him, tugging Jensen back against him, shoulder to chest.
He wraps his arms around Jensen, throws his leg up like he used to sometimes, and it is such a mistake. Jensen is angled just right so Jared can feel the solid line of him all the way down, the hard muscle of his arm pressing in to Jared's stomach, the bone of his hip pressing harder even lower. Jensen's knuckles are tucked against the dip of muscle at Jared's hip and all of it feels more real than it ever has.
Jensen is flesh and blood against him. He smells mostly like cologne, one Jared's never used and doesn't know the name of. Underneath it is a musky, familiar scent Jared remembers from long days filming and taking off flannels between scenes. It's a good scent, it makes his body stir, his heart speed up.
It is a perfectly normal outrageous thing that Jared does, groping Jensen like that, but it feels the furthest from familiar that he can name. It is such a mistake but Jensen lets out a startled laugh, like he didn't see it coming, except that he did. Jensen shifts, unbalanced against him, pushing more weight against him, like he'd fall without Jared to keep him up.
Jared's an actor, and it's a good thing too, because he doesn't want to give it up that he's half hard from a few seconds of touch. He mugs for the cameras, pulling out as overblown a smile as he can manage and Jensen laughs himself breathless, body hitching against Jared's the whole time.
Part Four