The Myth of Purity

[alline_mathin]

I came across this article in vaginapagina and I thought those in this community would be interested in reading it. The book sounds very interesting, definately something I'd like to read for myself.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30353377// 

Comments

[distractedone]

I've heard of this book through a lot of websites, and now through this post. Now, I'm definitely interested in reading it. I think I'll give it a try as soon as I finish all the other books I have piled up.

[kisekileia]

It sounds interesting to me--but something about the tone of it, I guess that it's a book directed towards teens and young adults to tell them what to believe and what principles to live their lives by, reminds me too much of the advice books I read as a conservative evangelical teen (but from the opposite point of view).

[alline_mathin]

I read the article from a feminist/gender theory point of view rather than a religious and didn't get that impression, but perhaps.

The interview on the website is interesting to watch, in it the author of the book states clearly that abstinence needs to be a part of sex education, but not at the expence of contraceptives. So I don't think she's saying, "let's all have sex and not worry about it" (not that that's what you're saying she's saying :) ).

What I found most interesting was her comments about the double standard for girls/women when it comes to sex and the polarization that exists for us, that we're either innocent and pure or spoiled sluts. Either Madonnas or Whores, which is complete crap, as she says. So yes, I'd like to read it for myself and give it a think. Personally, from what I've read about it so far, I think it could be very empowering.

[kisekileia]

It just seems like it tries to indoctrinate people into feminism the way some of my old books tried to indoctrinate people into evangelicalism. I may be totally wrong; I haven't read the book. Something about it just rubbed me the wrong way, even though I know I'd probably agree with a lot of it.

[papermoonriver]

I've never heard of the book. I'll have to check out the link when I get home and have more time, but it certainly sounds like something to read. Thanks for posting that here.

[alline_mathin]

Welcome. :)

[papermoonriver]

Oh, and I'd like to add that if anyone here has read this or chooses to read it I'd love to see a review posted.

[1st_of_5]

i really like jessica valenti and have read one of her previous books which touched on the same subject, 'he's a stud, she's a slut'. i'm about halfway through 'the purity myth' at the moment and it is indeed quite good. don't know if i'll get around to posting a review, but i would recommend it from what i've gotten though thus far. it is not at all a how-to book or indoctrination into scary-feminist liberal thought. then again, i am a feminist, so perhaps for me it's too late!

[kisekileia]

That is good to hear. I started reading Feministing a couple of months ago and have realized that I agree with most of what is posted there, so maybe I am a feminist. Like I said above, I think I'd probably agree with a lot of The Purity Myth, even though I don't feel entirely at ease with it.

[xevv]

I really don't want to come off as rude or anything, but I guess I come from a very liberal background so I am a bit confused. Feminism is simply a beleife that the sexes should be given equal opportunity, equal respect, equal value.

Everyone I associate with and/or love (men and women) beleives that this is true, even if they might have different ideas about how this should be brought about, just as feminism has gone through many evolutions since the 60's.

As a woman, do you beleive you are inherently inferior or immature somehow, that you are not really a legitamate person without a man to make up for your weaknesses? I guess I'm not sure how a woman who is in a community like this could beleive that. What is holding you back from considering yourself a feminist?

Again, I'm not trying to be offensive; I'm just honestly curious.

[tenchan]

I'd never consider myself a feminist, honestly...I'm more of a peopleist

[yaoihuntresse]

Thank God someone wrote a book like this. I've found the underlineing belief that the erotophobes (to use the phrase by Dr Marty Klein) that solely judge women on their virginity alone sick. It makes me wonder how many of these married "pure" girls develop massive guilt complexes after losing it to their husbands and fear that they're no long "pure" anymore and\or that the fairy tale of the husband being a perfect knight in shining armor that was going to give them that perfect experience was just an expectation and nothing more. Or the husband who realize too late that a girl who focused totally on her virginity had nothing else to offer because she didnt' focus on the things that didn't matter

[kisekileia]

That mentality you're describing in the second paragraph is very familiar to me, unfortunately. I still have a real emotional struggle with myself about the issue of sexually fantasizing about real people: is it disrespectful, creepy, making them into sex objects, innocently flattering? I have known plenty of people who would have done the same thing as those art students you knew, and at one point I was one of them.

[alline_mathin]

It's a shame, really. It puts unrealistic expectations on people. We have sexual fantasies about people we see and know, we just do, it's a part of being a non-asexual human, it's a part of having a sex drive.

[yaoihuntresse]

But to these people, especally Joshua Harris, lust is the enemy.