Clash of the frakkeries
So I saw Clash of the Titans on Friday and really wish I didn't. When you watch and movie and start thinking about how you could have put the cost of admission to your next credit card bill...yeah.
I'ma gonna let you finish Clash of the Titans but AVATAR WAS THE BEST 3D MOVIE OF ALL TIME!
Sorry. Yes, I know Kayne is a douche and the meme is dead but this is sooo true. Clash's 3D was added post production and it shows. I spent more money to watch it in 3D since that's what the cinema was offering and I'm pissed.
Now, 3D movies are a bit of a hassle for me. I wear glasses for very bad vision and I'm not interested in getting contacts so I'm the nerd with 2 glasses on in a 3D movie. If I'm going to go with the discomfort of the large 3D glasses plus my regular pair, the constant adjusting and difficulty breathing as the two pair bare down on my nasal passages it should be worth my time. It wasn't. Avatar has ruined me for 3D - when something is done well, it's done well. James Cameron from the beginning knew the vision he had, what he wanted and set out to do that and the visuals were mind-blowingly beautiful. The very opening scene in Avatar was kickass make your head spin 3D. I spent a good part of my time in Clash of the Titans with my glasses OFF. The 3D was barely there I can tell you that much. 3D was only added to some very few parts and it was baaadddd and wasn't worth it to keep the glasses on.
What to say about this movie? Disjointed...things...did not follow logically. It was possibly the most pieced together movie I've ever seen. You know that it was edited ridiculously and the final product didn't make much sense. At all.
There was NO character development. Character development makes you care about the characters and remember names. Besides Zeus, Hades and the other Olympians who I could recognize on sight (and only of which Apollo had one speaking line), the 3 humans - Perseus, Andromeda and his "guide", Io were the only characters names I know. Throughout the film. Perseus was on a journey with other people. I couldn't tell you his family's name.
I really don't want to get into the story line - it's so dumb. But, Perseus travels throughout the film with a band of soldiers on his quest to stop Hades from releasing the Kraken. At the beginning, not even a dozen of them set out together. Shortly after, they have an encounter was some giant scorpions - a shit load of soldiers die. I swear I see some of the same soldiers later laughing and smiling. One person I went with asked me after how many soldiers died and how many were left 'cause it just didn't add up.
Io, a beautiful woman cursed by the Gods' with agelessness was his guide throughout the film and she comes along on the journey. No character development between the two whatsoever again as she spends most of her limited screen time being mystical, so by the end when she lies dying and they start spouting words of love and devotion, the audience including me, starts laughing out loud. I kid you not, lots of people were laughing out loud. Not funny loud but what the fuck is this loud. I was dying in my seat. I was laughing throughout the film quietly but I lost it at this scene.
I'm not even sure if the Kraken was on the screen for more than 5 minutes. Pegasus was useless. Zeus can't make up his mind. The city Argos has a severe lack of soldiers. Not even a dozen soldiers set out on the quest to help stop a god release a Kraken. The city is baying for the blood of it's princess for a week and there are only 5 guards at the gate so the mob can just stroll in to get the princess. The King goes out on foot into a mob filled city under an attack from a Kraken with not even 5 soldiers to get his daughter back? What? Yeah, he get's stabbed.
As I heard one man say as he left the cinema "The plot was fuckery".
Very true. Just ranting but UGH!! I don't even want to do a true part by part breakdown. Truly one of the shittiest movies I've ever seen if not the shittiest. A Santa bag of epic shittiness. I really wish I did put that money to my credit card bill.
BUT screw that - IRON MAN 2 comes out next month and it's going to be FAB! Princess Rubber Ducky Jr. will not fail me! *squee*
I'ma gonna let you finish Clash of the Titans but AVATAR WAS THE BEST 3D MOVIE OF ALL TIME!
Sorry. Yes, I know Kayne is a douche and the meme is dead but this is sooo true. Clash's 3D was added post production and it shows. I spent more money to watch it in 3D since that's what the cinema was offering and I'm pissed.
Now, 3D movies are a bit of a hassle for me. I wear glasses for very bad vision and I'm not interested in getting contacts so I'm the nerd with 2 glasses on in a 3D movie. If I'm going to go with the discomfort of the large 3D glasses plus my regular pair, the constant adjusting and difficulty breathing as the two pair bare down on my nasal passages it should be worth my time. It wasn't. Avatar has ruined me for 3D - when something is done well, it's done well. James Cameron from the beginning knew the vision he had, what he wanted and set out to do that and the visuals were mind-blowingly beautiful. The very opening scene in Avatar was kickass make your head spin 3D. I spent a good part of my time in Clash of the Titans with my glasses OFF. The 3D was barely there I can tell you that much. 3D was only added to some very few parts and it was baaadddd and wasn't worth it to keep the glasses on.
What to say about this movie? Disjointed...things...did not follow logically. It was possibly the most pieced together movie I've ever seen. You know that it was edited ridiculously and the final product didn't make much sense. At all.
There was NO character development. Character development makes you care about the characters and remember names. Besides Zeus, Hades and the other Olympians who I could recognize on sight (and only of which Apollo had one speaking line), the 3 humans - Perseus, Andromeda and his "guide", Io were the only characters names I know. Throughout the film. Perseus was on a journey with other people. I couldn't tell you his family's name.
I really don't want to get into the story line - it's so dumb. But, Perseus travels throughout the film with a band of soldiers on his quest to stop Hades from releasing the Kraken. At the beginning, not even a dozen of them set out together. Shortly after, they have an encounter was some giant scorpions - a shit load of soldiers die. I swear I see some of the same soldiers later laughing and smiling. One person I went with asked me after how many soldiers died and how many were left 'cause it just didn't add up.
Io, a beautiful woman cursed by the Gods' with agelessness was his guide throughout the film and she comes along on the journey. No character development between the two whatsoever again as she spends most of her limited screen time being mystical, so by the end when she lies dying and they start spouting words of love and devotion, the audience including me, starts laughing out loud. I kid you not, lots of people were laughing out loud. Not funny loud but what the fuck is this loud. I was dying in my seat. I was laughing throughout the film quietly but I lost it at this scene.
I'm not even sure if the Kraken was on the screen for more than 5 minutes. Pegasus was useless. Zeus can't make up his mind. The city Argos has a severe lack of soldiers. Not even a dozen soldiers set out on the quest to help stop a god release a Kraken. The city is baying for the blood of it's princess for a week and there are only 5 guards at the gate so the mob can just stroll in to get the princess. The King goes out on foot into a mob filled city under an attack from a Kraken with not even 5 soldiers to get his daughter back? What? Yeah, he get's stabbed.
As I heard one man say as he left the cinema "The plot was fuckery".
Very true. Just ranting but UGH!! I don't even want to do a true part by part breakdown. Truly one of the shittiest movies I've ever seen if not the shittiest. A Santa bag of epic shittiness. I really wish I did put that money to my credit card bill.
BUT screw that - IRON MAN 2 comes out next month and it's going to be FAB! Princess Rubber Ducky Jr. will not fail me! *squee*