Title: Broken
Title: Broken
Rating: PG
Summary: He wasn't the only one broken anymore.
It wasn't that he didn't love her. He did. Was willing to die for her if that was what it took to keep her safe.
It wasn't that he didn't think he deserved her. She wanted him and he had always trusted her judgment, even if he thought she was completely mad.
It wasn't that he didn't want her. Each night all that kept him sane were dreams of her skin, her mouth, her eyes. Waking up with her in his arms, was enough to remind him that he was still alive, that he had survived.
In the end it didn't matter what it wasn't. What it was, was over.
"All the kings horses," she said softly when he told her he was leaving. And he didn't understand. Had never heard the nursery rhyme.
"It's about something that can't be fixed." She'd explained. "It's about being broken." He had to agree that the words seemed to fit. Had to say something to make sure she understood, even though he knew she did.
"The king is dead. Long live the king." He 'd smiled into the words. Forced them to have meaning. She'd smiled but hadn't laughed.
"You're sure? This seems sudden. Your mum..."
"I'm sure." He'd interrupted gently. "My family doesn't know. I'll send them a letter once I've gone. It'll be easier."
"But you told me?" She'd sounded hurt.
"Nothing was going to make this easier Hermione." He'd tried to touch her and she'd flinched so he'd pulled away. "Maybe I wanted you to argue. Ask me to stay."
"I won't." Her voice had been firm.
'I know." He'd replied and this time when he touched her she'd come willingly. Folded into his arms, against his chest and breathed in his scent even as he buried his face in her hair and did the same.
"You'll write?" She finally asked looking up at him.
"I won't." He echoed a sentiment from years earlier and it was almost as if they were fifteen and going on summer hols rather than twenty three and he was leaving for Merlin knew how long. "You know I won't."
He'd paused, kissed her. "You know I can't."
"Doesn't make it any easier." She'd said pulling away. She'd been angry, disappointed that he wasn't as strong as her. As Harry. He hadn't had the courage to tell he never had been.
She was worried that he was never going to come back but too stubborn to ask him outright when he was going to return and he took that small favor gratefully. He'd packed while she was at work. And once the telling was through he'd picked up his bag and met her at the door.
"I love you." he'd told her. Kissed her again, and she didn't push him away, just let him take that last kiss before stepping back and closing the door. He could hear her muffled sob on the other side and it was almost enough to make him go back.
"All the kings horses." her voice said in his head. And he'd turned on his heel and walked away. Because he knew it was too late to go back. He wasn't the only one broken anymore.
Rating: PG
Summary: He wasn't the only one broken anymore.
It wasn't that he didn't love her. He did. Was willing to die for her if that was what it took to keep her safe.
It wasn't that he didn't think he deserved her. She wanted him and he had always trusted her judgment, even if he thought she was completely mad.
It wasn't that he didn't want her. Each night all that kept him sane were dreams of her skin, her mouth, her eyes. Waking up with her in his arms, was enough to remind him that he was still alive, that he had survived.
In the end it didn't matter what it wasn't. What it was, was over.
"All the kings horses," she said softly when he told her he was leaving. And he didn't understand. Had never heard the nursery rhyme.
"It's about something that can't be fixed." She'd explained. "It's about being broken." He had to agree that the words seemed to fit. Had to say something to make sure she understood, even though he knew she did.
"The king is dead. Long live the king." He 'd smiled into the words. Forced them to have meaning. She'd smiled but hadn't laughed.
"You're sure? This seems sudden. Your mum..."
"I'm sure." He'd interrupted gently. "My family doesn't know. I'll send them a letter once I've gone. It'll be easier."
"But you told me?" She'd sounded hurt.
"Nothing was going to make this easier Hermione." He'd tried to touch her and she'd flinched so he'd pulled away. "Maybe I wanted you to argue. Ask me to stay."
"I won't." Her voice had been firm.
'I know." He'd replied and this time when he touched her she'd come willingly. Folded into his arms, against his chest and breathed in his scent even as he buried his face in her hair and did the same.
"You'll write?" She finally asked looking up at him.
"I won't." He echoed a sentiment from years earlier and it was almost as if they were fifteen and going on summer hols rather than twenty three and he was leaving for Merlin knew how long. "You know I won't."
He'd paused, kissed her. "You know I can't."
"Doesn't make it any easier." She'd said pulling away. She'd been angry, disappointed that he wasn't as strong as her. As Harry. He hadn't had the courage to tell he never had been.
She was worried that he was never going to come back but too stubborn to ask him outright when he was going to return and he took that small favor gratefully. He'd packed while she was at work. And once the telling was through he'd picked up his bag and met her at the door.
"I love you." he'd told her. Kissed her again, and she didn't push him away, just let him take that last kiss before stepping back and closing the door. He could hear her muffled sob on the other side and it was almost enough to make him go back.
"All the kings horses." her voice said in his head. And he'd turned on his heel and walked away. Because he knew it was too late to go back. He wasn't the only one broken anymore.