(no subject)
I'm trying a lj-cut, but I'm bad at these, so I'm sorry if it doesn't work...
Wow. Really wow. Everything has been so crazy lately. I feel like I'm riding a rollar coaster because I just have all these times where I feel like I'm free-falling, and I just get so scared and I feel sick and it is just awful. But then something happens and I get lifted back up again, and I still have that fear in the back of my mind, telling me to expect the next drop, but for just a moment, I am happy...
This weekend my confirmation class went on a retreat to Hyco. It was only from Friday afternoon to Saturday afternoon, but a lot can happen in 24 hours. I won't go into details, but after the trip, Curry and I got in a fight and everything just got so screwed up and it was plum awful. Everything kept reminding me of him. In the car I must have changed songs and CDs like 53459834759371495 times (sorry Amber and Hannah!) just because they all made me think "Curry...Curry...Curry." Then I went and saw 42nd Street (it was absolutly wonderful!) and at the end, they gave Vincent the money they collected, and it made me think of Heather, and how you can lose the ones you love most in a matter of seconds. I started balling my eyes out, and I just wanted to call Curry so bad. Later, when I got online, we talked and just told each other everything we felt, and it just felt so wonderful to let it all out. The biggest fight we've ever had, and it only lasted a day (even though it FELT like it lasted forever...). I love that so much about us... With other people, its so hard to make up after fights because you have to hold on to that pride... God forbid you say 'sorry' first. But with Curry and I, we just want it to end, and the pride factor isn't even there. Curry, I just love you so much, and I know you get numb to hearing it after awhile, but like I told you, I mean it every time I say it.
That goes for everyone... I know we all say it 8423749821790 times a day, but guys, I really mean it when I tell y'all I love you all so much.
So, today I slept in really late (11:00), and then I went and finished mowing the ditch and back yard. Brycson came over, and we were both really hot after all that hard yard work (right Boo? I know you worked yourself to death jumping on that trampoline...!). So we did something that I haven't done in so long, I can't even remember the last time I did it. We pulled out my old sprinkler, but since neither of us had bathing suits, we just ran through it in our clothes.
Right now, all of you, go find a kid under 10 years old, and run through the sprinkler or hose or something. Do it. I mean it...right now!
I haven't had so much fun for such a long time. I got to be a kid again. Screaming whenever the cold water hit us on our butts, and doing ballet jumps through the streams of water, and playing limbo... it was such a blast. Brycson, I love you Boo. Thanks for making my day!
Well, I'm gonna go. Just wanted to let you all know how much I love you. And to Curry, you are not a sorry person, and I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. I haven't ever had someone be there for me like you are, all the time. You have helped me through so much, and I am so thankful that we are strong enough to make it through all these rough times. It will get better, and when it does, we will still be best friends. Together forever love!
~Me~