not together. i have so many thoughts. and i feel like... i cant express what i am thinking. it feels gross. to have so many things to say.. and not being able to just put them together. i feel cluttered. and like i am being smoothered by them ( Read more... )

well its time for my normal saturday morning class with my mom, and the juvie place. it wasnt going to be so bad. because i knew i would come home and wait a while and then billy will be here ( Read more... )

"i dont even know who you are anymore"

ohh... ohhhhh... oh yea? you say that to me like i am am supposed to feel bad. think about how i feel here, i've never known who i am/was. so consider yourself lucky and move on.

and now its time to lay my head down, and pretend like you dont exist.

i laughed today. loud. its good i did, because for a moment i cried. it was weird. i knew i was crying. i felt like i was crying, but i only had a few tears that could come out ( Read more... )

"i'm comin over, i'm comin over, i'm comin over, so move over..." - X

communityservice. sleep. billy. food. cigg. some friends.
(thats my day).

thats everyday.

billy is playing a show in san diego today. funtimes... i wanted to go. ...cant. he is coming over tomorrow. :) yess.

i am tired. tired tired tired tired.
(high five).

( Read more... )

its okay really. i will wait. i will i will i will. i can hold my thoughts. my anger. my sadness. i can hold it until you are ready for it again. let me put my feelings on hold. i dont really need to talk about them anyways. ... i mean, i do have this nifty little thing called a journal. its so much more theraputic to let it all out ( Read more... )

quick breath. hold it in. now let out the hate. the ill thoughts running through your head, the things you wish upon others. itch your head, full of your greasy hair. open your eyes, filled with false intentions, i can see them running down your face ( Read more... )

i didnt go today. to my community service. i laid in my bed... and tried to forget about how bad i felt. how bad my head felt. it felt like... like it was being split open, like someone was hitting me over and over with a shovel, only the edges of the shovel making contact. i rolled my eyes into the back of my head, and closed them. tried to ( Read more... )

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