Fic: Taking Turns, part 3 of 3
Title: Taking Turns
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Rating: NC-17
Summary The new Ace Rimmer finds a surprise waiting for him in one universe he drops into...
Rimmer groaned. "Look, just get it over with, will you?"
A warm hand slapped his upturned buttock cheek. "It's called preparation, Rimmer, I told you I'd be gentle. You calling me a liar?"
"I mean the bad things." And how weird was it that suddenly Lister shagging him senseless didn't seem to fall in that category?
"You what? Bad things?"
"Yes, you know, the bit where you stick a daffodil up my bottom and leave me here to be discovered by the captain. Or where the camera flash goes off and you start talking about brown envelopes stuffed full of fivers."
"No daffodils."
Rimmer started as something warm and wet stroked between his buttocks. Was that--? No. Nonononono.
"No fivers."
There it was again, coarse and smooth all at once, slicking down his crease, and Rimmer couldn't help it, he shuffled his knees further apart and strained to give Lister better access.
Nonono. "Oh. Oh yes."
"And no cameras."
Hands helped him, helped find more room for that insistent push push push at his hole, and Rimmer gasped as it finally slipped and twisted its way inside. It squirmed and wriggled, and if Rimmer didn't know better, he'd have honestly thought Lister had put his tongue up his--
"Well, not unless you want them."
But there was a terrifying correlation apparent between the nice warm, wet feelings and Lister's silences. Not thinking about it. Nonono. Rimmer was definitely not thinking about what that would taste like, not at all.
"Lister, if you're doing what I think you are..."
There was a chuckle and a warm breath against sensitive parts of his skin that confirmed Rimmer's worst suspicions.
"Don't worry, you don't have to do it." The tongue worried at him again, lapping at puckered skin gently. "Feels good though, doesn't it?"
"Not bad, not bad." Rimmer tried to keep his voice nonchalant, but Lister attacked him once more in that aggressively intimate way, this time pushing and twisting deeper, harder. His cool composure was handicapped somewhat by his undignified position, the trembling that seemed to have started in his knees and now shuddered through the whole of his body, not to mention the way he seemed to be begging desperately for more, muttering under his breath now.
"Oh, I'll give you more, Ace, don't you worry."
Slick, wet sounds made Rimmer gulp, and the next moment something cool and hard pressed against him. Smeg. It was too big, nothing was going to go in there, not least a part of Lister's body, however small and insignificant it undoubtedly was. Please god, let it be small.
"Relax, Rimmer, I know what I'm doing." And Lister pushed forward again, warmth coming through now, hot and burning, and why couldn't Lister see it wasn't going to fit, goddamnit, the moron?
Rimmer could feel the burn again, and the muscles eased around the very tip of… Lister's cock. Oh. God. It was Lister's… inside him! It was probably too much to hope that it was all in now, but Rimmer prayed all the same. Yes, he'd wanted the experience, just out of curiosity, and curiosity was now well and truly satisfied, thank you very much.
"Well, that was amazing. Lister, you're an animal. I'll give you a ten out of ten, should anyone ask, but now I really have to be going." Rimmer babbled on, scrabbling at the sheets, but he was all too aware that he didn't in fact seem to be moving anywhere.
"It gets better," Lister promised, and wriggled his hips experimentally. Rimmer could feel his muscles giving up under the slow but insistent pressure.
"Or m-maybe I should do you?" Rimmer said hopefully, wriggling away from the pain again. "I'm probably smaller than… well, not smaller, of course, but maybe more… compact? Tidier. I could-"
"I told you, it's my turn to top." Lister pulled Rimmer's hips back and groaned. "Don't think I'm going to give it up either, the last time you came through I couldn't walk for three days, man."
So that was what it meant. Just a small fact to add to the things he was learning today - like, for example, what it felt like when Lister made good on his threat and thrust right the way inside him.
"Holy smeg." Lister held still behind him, his hands stretched wide and taut where he held Rimmer against him, every muscle tense.
Rimmer would have echoed the sentiment, but something strange had happened to time, it was slurring in front of his very eyes. Something peculiar was happening to his body too; his vocal cords had forgotten how to work, his entire body had been turned to jelly, and his brain was starting to dribble out of his ears. Well, either that or his hair gel was melting.
It didn't matter though, because all his nerve endings seemed to have packed their bags and hurried south for the evening, congregating somewhere he didn't even have a name for, or not one he was prepared to think of in connections with this kind of feeling. And Lister was in some kind of conspiracy with his nerve endings, some secret pact. Time after time he rocked up against them, until fireworks exploded behind Rimmer's eyes and they collapsed in a sweaty, sticky heap in the middle of the bunk.
---
"Wow."
Rimmer wanted to turn his head, but quite frankly, he didn't have the energy.
"So, last time I was here, I did that to you? I mean, the last Ace did that?" Maybe if Rimmer repeated it out loud he'd be able to believe it.
"Oh yeah." Lister stretched, and thankfully removed his arm from Rimmer's neck. "I told you, you're a tiger, Ace."
"But it wasn't me!" Rimmer wanted to howl, but he made do with a whine. "I've never-" he waved his arm around aimlessly in a nonsense gesture.
"Well, it was sort of you." Lister patted his arm. "And if you stay alive long enough, it'll be you next time!"
"Next time, eh?" Rimmer would have pushed the point further, but he wasn't foolish enough to think he could take on another round just yet. Possibly not for the next few weeks, come to think of it.
"Yeah." Lister leaned up on his elbow and smiled down at him. A warm glow made its way through Rimmer's chest at the intimacy. "Trust me - I can't wait for you to get back here again."
He curled up in his sheets, and in a few moments all Rimmer could hear was snoring.
---
No sooner had the door slammed behind the dazed Ace and his tender backside, than Lister opened one eye. He lay still for a few seconds, his fingers twitching at the sheets, then with a lunge he was over the side of the bed and groping blindly around underneath his bunk.
"Ooh, spare undies!" He shook them carefully, and they bent a little under the rough treatment. He sniffed at them, smiled, and aimed them at the 'clean' pile in the corner by the door.
After a lump of what might have once been cheese but was now a teeming civilisation of tiny life forms, a moth-eaten tie that Lister had never even seen before, and a somewhat dented traffic cone, he finally pulled out a white board. Miraculously, it even had a pen attached with a ragged piece of string. Lister sucked at the tip and dabbed it on his hand, then turned his attention to the board.
"Let's see, Dave Lister, sex god…" Under the heading which said precisely that, he added a mark to the tally. "… fourteen!"
He bowed and nodded to the imaginary applause.
"And 'Rimmers'…" he added an extra flourish of ink to the big fat zero that filled the column. "None."
He dropped the board and lay back on the bed, arms folded beneath his head. For the first time he felt a tiny pang of guilt at the deception. He loved it when Ace was nervous, and this one had been classic Rimmer.
Maybe at fifteen he'd let Ace have his turn on top. Fifteen, that wasn't too bad. Except it was only one Ace away… maybe twenty.
Lister's eyes drifted shut. Of course, in a busy period that might only take a few months to reach.
Perhaps thirty would be better. Yeah, that would do.
Let nobody say he wasn't prepared to take his turn.
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Rating: NC-17
Summary The new Ace Rimmer finds a surprise waiting for him in one universe he drops into...
Rimmer groaned. "Look, just get it over with, will you?"
A warm hand slapped his upturned buttock cheek. "It's called preparation, Rimmer, I told you I'd be gentle. You calling me a liar?"
"I mean the bad things." And how weird was it that suddenly Lister shagging him senseless didn't seem to fall in that category?
"You what? Bad things?"
"Yes, you know, the bit where you stick a daffodil up my bottom and leave me here to be discovered by the captain. Or where the camera flash goes off and you start talking about brown envelopes stuffed full of fivers."
"No daffodils."
Rimmer started as something warm and wet stroked between his buttocks. Was that--? No. Nonononono.
"No fivers."
There it was again, coarse and smooth all at once, slicking down his crease, and Rimmer couldn't help it, he shuffled his knees further apart and strained to give Lister better access.
Nonono. "Oh. Oh yes."
"And no cameras."
Hands helped him, helped find more room for that insistent push push push at his hole, and Rimmer gasped as it finally slipped and twisted its way inside. It squirmed and wriggled, and if Rimmer didn't know better, he'd have honestly thought Lister had put his tongue up his--
"Well, not unless you want them."
But there was a terrifying correlation apparent between the nice warm, wet feelings and Lister's silences. Not thinking about it. Nonono. Rimmer was definitely not thinking about what that would taste like, not at all.
"Lister, if you're doing what I think you are..."
There was a chuckle and a warm breath against sensitive parts of his skin that confirmed Rimmer's worst suspicions.
"Don't worry, you don't have to do it." The tongue worried at him again, lapping at puckered skin gently. "Feels good though, doesn't it?"
"Not bad, not bad." Rimmer tried to keep his voice nonchalant, but Lister attacked him once more in that aggressively intimate way, this time pushing and twisting deeper, harder. His cool composure was handicapped somewhat by his undignified position, the trembling that seemed to have started in his knees and now shuddered through the whole of his body, not to mention the way he seemed to be begging desperately for more, muttering under his breath now.
"Oh, I'll give you more, Ace, don't you worry."
Slick, wet sounds made Rimmer gulp, and the next moment something cool and hard pressed against him. Smeg. It was too big, nothing was going to go in there, not least a part of Lister's body, however small and insignificant it undoubtedly was. Please god, let it be small.
"Relax, Rimmer, I know what I'm doing." And Lister pushed forward again, warmth coming through now, hot and burning, and why couldn't Lister see it wasn't going to fit, goddamnit, the moron?
Rimmer could feel the burn again, and the muscles eased around the very tip of… Lister's cock. Oh. God. It was Lister's… inside him! It was probably too much to hope that it was all in now, but Rimmer prayed all the same. Yes, he'd wanted the experience, just out of curiosity, and curiosity was now well and truly satisfied, thank you very much.
"Well, that was amazing. Lister, you're an animal. I'll give you a ten out of ten, should anyone ask, but now I really have to be going." Rimmer babbled on, scrabbling at the sheets, but he was all too aware that he didn't in fact seem to be moving anywhere.
"It gets better," Lister promised, and wriggled his hips experimentally. Rimmer could feel his muscles giving up under the slow but insistent pressure.
"Or m-maybe I should do you?" Rimmer said hopefully, wriggling away from the pain again. "I'm probably smaller than… well, not smaller, of course, but maybe more… compact? Tidier. I could-"
"I told you, it's my turn to top." Lister pulled Rimmer's hips back and groaned. "Don't think I'm going to give it up either, the last time you came through I couldn't walk for three days, man."
So that was what it meant. Just a small fact to add to the things he was learning today - like, for example, what it felt like when Lister made good on his threat and thrust right the way inside him.
"Holy smeg." Lister held still behind him, his hands stretched wide and taut where he held Rimmer against him, every muscle tense.
Rimmer would have echoed the sentiment, but something strange had happened to time, it was slurring in front of his very eyes. Something peculiar was happening to his body too; his vocal cords had forgotten how to work, his entire body had been turned to jelly, and his brain was starting to dribble out of his ears. Well, either that or his hair gel was melting.
It didn't matter though, because all his nerve endings seemed to have packed their bags and hurried south for the evening, congregating somewhere he didn't even have a name for, or not one he was prepared to think of in connections with this kind of feeling. And Lister was in some kind of conspiracy with his nerve endings, some secret pact. Time after time he rocked up against them, until fireworks exploded behind Rimmer's eyes and they collapsed in a sweaty, sticky heap in the middle of the bunk.
---
"Wow."
Rimmer wanted to turn his head, but quite frankly, he didn't have the energy.
"So, last time I was here, I did that to you? I mean, the last Ace did that?" Maybe if Rimmer repeated it out loud he'd be able to believe it.
"Oh yeah." Lister stretched, and thankfully removed his arm from Rimmer's neck. "I told you, you're a tiger, Ace."
"But it wasn't me!" Rimmer wanted to howl, but he made do with a whine. "I've never-" he waved his arm around aimlessly in a nonsense gesture.
"Well, it was sort of you." Lister patted his arm. "And if you stay alive long enough, it'll be you next time!"
"Next time, eh?" Rimmer would have pushed the point further, but he wasn't foolish enough to think he could take on another round just yet. Possibly not for the next few weeks, come to think of it.
"Yeah." Lister leaned up on his elbow and smiled down at him. A warm glow made its way through Rimmer's chest at the intimacy. "Trust me - I can't wait for you to get back here again."
He curled up in his sheets, and in a few moments all Rimmer could hear was snoring.
---
No sooner had the door slammed behind the dazed Ace and his tender backside, than Lister opened one eye. He lay still for a few seconds, his fingers twitching at the sheets, then with a lunge he was over the side of the bed and groping blindly around underneath his bunk.
"Ooh, spare undies!" He shook them carefully, and they bent a little under the rough treatment. He sniffed at them, smiled, and aimed them at the 'clean' pile in the corner by the door.
After a lump of what might have once been cheese but was now a teeming civilisation of tiny life forms, a moth-eaten tie that Lister had never even seen before, and a somewhat dented traffic cone, he finally pulled out a white board. Miraculously, it even had a pen attached with a ragged piece of string. Lister sucked at the tip and dabbed it on his hand, then turned his attention to the board.
"Let's see, Dave Lister, sex god…" Under the heading which said precisely that, he added a mark to the tally. "… fourteen!"
He bowed and nodded to the imaginary applause.
"And 'Rimmers'…" he added an extra flourish of ink to the big fat zero that filled the column. "None."
He dropped the board and lay back on the bed, arms folded beneath his head. For the first time he felt a tiny pang of guilt at the deception. He loved it when Ace was nervous, and this one had been classic Rimmer.
Maybe at fifteen he'd let Ace have his turn on top. Fifteen, that wasn't too bad. Except it was only one Ace away… maybe twenty.
Lister's eyes drifted shut. Of course, in a busy period that might only take a few months to reach.
Perhaps thirty would be better. Yeah, that would do.
Let nobody say he wasn't prepared to take his turn.