Fic: Fixed - R/L (imp) - PG
Title: Fixed
Pairing: Rimmer/Lister (implied)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't money from this, more's the double pity.
Spoilers: Meltdown
Notes: A follow-up to roadstergal's Metaphor. Written for the fanfic100 challenge - my table is here.
“Erm.. Hello? If you can hear this, don't run off or anything. I mean, don't get out of the room just yet. Ah, what am I saying; I could never get ya to do anything. I just... I listened to yer recording, OK? And I just wanted to say something in return. So if yer still listening, please just... just keep on listening for a little bit more, OK?
Maybe you left already. Wouldn't blame ya if ye did. I'm just gonna keep on talking, though. I just hope Cat or Kryten won't come in here with me blathering on. What would they think, eh? Right. I'm stalling, aren't I? I should get to it.
I should apologize first of all, yeah? All right - I'm sorry. No, I really do mean that. This is not an excuse but, the thing I do is, I touch things, yeah? Feel 'em... er... taste 'em. You know. Makes 'em more real to me. And I couldn't do that to ya. Not that I, you know, wanted to lick ya or anything like that. I'm not queer or anything. But having another human being around that I couldn't feel or touch or - all right, yeah - taste; that is smegging hard for me to wrap my mind around, guy! So ever since I knew I could... well... I've been wanting to. Again.
Are you still there? Yer not, are ya? Look, when I said again, I didn't mean swallow you up and send ya round my bowels and that again. That wasn't very pleasant for me either, you know. That bee of yours is pretty hefty, and it's got pointy, bumpy parts. Kryten was pretty cross with me; swore we would have to operate ya out of me. Good thing we didn't... I mean... Smeg. This is coming out all wrong. Fool I am for yappin' about this, and more fool you fer listening, if you are. The point I'm trying to make is that I wanted to do something nice. Considering what you said, I know how that must sound, but I swear - that's all I wanted.
Tell you what; I'm not gonna waste any more time trying to explain. We're too different you and I. I've tried it before, with other things, and you just scoff and turn your nose up, or laugh. Or both. You never understand me, and I'm sure I never fully understand you either. That's one of the reasons we drive one another spare, you and me. So there'll be no more of that. I do have something you might understand though. Is Madge still there? If she is, have her come over and open up the closet door. I know I took advantage of you when you were helpless and - well - naked, and couldn't move. And I know you can't touch me, but well...”
Lister blinked at the light bursting in through the opening door. Truth be told, he had not known exactly what to expect. The incoming air made the skin of his now exposed naked body prickle, and the duct tape he had bound himself with was beginning to chafe. He'd been in there rather a long time, waiting to hear Rimmer's frustrated nasal sigh as he entered. Madge moved aside, happily clicking and whirring, to reveal an open-mouthed, dumbstruck Rimmer.
“Erm,” Lister said, trying his best - and failing - to look dignified. “Hiya.”
Pairing: Rimmer/Lister (implied)
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em, don't money from this, more's the double pity.
Spoilers: Meltdown
Notes: A follow-up to roadstergal's Metaphor. Written for the fanfic100 challenge - my table is here.
“Erm.. Hello? If you can hear this, don't run off or anything. I mean, don't get out of the room just yet. Ah, what am I saying; I could never get ya to do anything. I just... I listened to yer recording, OK? And I just wanted to say something in return. So if yer still listening, please just... just keep on listening for a little bit more, OK?
Maybe you left already. Wouldn't blame ya if ye did. I'm just gonna keep on talking, though. I just hope Cat or Kryten won't come in here with me blathering on. What would they think, eh? Right. I'm stalling, aren't I? I should get to it.
I should apologize first of all, yeah? All right - I'm sorry. No, I really do mean that. This is not an excuse but, the thing I do is, I touch things, yeah? Feel 'em... er... taste 'em. You know. Makes 'em more real to me. And I couldn't do that to ya. Not that I, you know, wanted to lick ya or anything like that. I'm not queer or anything. But having another human being around that I couldn't feel or touch or - all right, yeah - taste; that is smegging hard for me to wrap my mind around, guy! So ever since I knew I could... well... I've been wanting to. Again.
Are you still there? Yer not, are ya? Look, when I said again, I didn't mean swallow you up and send ya round my bowels and that again. That wasn't very pleasant for me either, you know. That bee of yours is pretty hefty, and it's got pointy, bumpy parts. Kryten was pretty cross with me; swore we would have to operate ya out of me. Good thing we didn't... I mean... Smeg. This is coming out all wrong. Fool I am for yappin' about this, and more fool you fer listening, if you are. The point I'm trying to make is that I wanted to do something nice. Considering what you said, I know how that must sound, but I swear - that's all I wanted.
Tell you what; I'm not gonna waste any more time trying to explain. We're too different you and I. I've tried it before, with other things, and you just scoff and turn your nose up, or laugh. Or both. You never understand me, and I'm sure I never fully understand you either. That's one of the reasons we drive one another spare, you and me. So there'll be no more of that. I do have something you might understand though. Is Madge still there? If she is, have her come over and open up the closet door. I know I took advantage of you when you were helpless and - well - naked, and couldn't move. And I know you can't touch me, but well...”
Lister blinked at the light bursting in through the opening door. Truth be told, he had not known exactly what to expect. The incoming air made the skin of his now exposed naked body prickle, and the duct tape he had bound himself with was beginning to chafe. He'd been in there rather a long time, waiting to hear Rimmer's frustrated nasal sigh as he entered. Madge moved aside, happily clicking and whirring, to reveal an open-mouthed, dumbstruck Rimmer.
“Erm,” Lister said, trying his best - and failing - to look dignified. “Hiya.”